Wonkette

Senator Tim Johnson of South Dakota, best known for having a blood vessel bust in his head when he wasn’t even angry, is joining the stiffest Senator since Larry Craig left that airport bathroom in endorsing Obama today, just in time for the South Carolina primary. Once again, we’re pretty sure South Carolinians don’t care who a brain-damaged Senator from South Dakota thinks they should vote for, but that’s just us. Any South Carolinians on that roster, Barry? [MSNBC]

* Democrats would make Tim Johnson get a brain transplant before letting Tom Daschle run again. [Election Central]
* Tom Tancredo loves guns so much he felt the need to mo-vlog about it. [Congress Blog]
* It’s an open secret among shitty journalists that Ron Paul will talk to anybody. [YouTube]
* Corrupt-as-shit Justice Department thinks Ted Stevens and his frankenhouse are too corrupt to listen to. [Think Progress]
* Bill O’Reilly: didja hear he’s conservative? [HuffPo]
* In Barry Hussein Obama’s America, everyone can get a new liver when they need it. [Scrappleface]
* Wonkette “West Coast Bureau Chief” Ken Layne talks shit about Our Leaders on “America’s Earliest Morning Show with Peter Tilden” every Thursday morning at maybe 3:20 a.m. Eastern time? ABC News & Talk Channel (SIRIUS-143 / XM-124). [KABC-AM]

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It will take more than a non-dead Tim Johnson to keep the Senate out of Cheney’s hands. Vinegar Joe Lieberman now says he’s going to switch parties — or switch from caucusing with Dems to caucusing with the New GOP Senate Majority — because he needs that Iraq War to go on forever. Lieberman told Politico.com it’s so important to keep killing U.S. troops and Iraqis that he’s forced to consider “becoming” a Bush loyalist Republican. MORE »

Senator Tim Johnson has finally been moved from the hospital to some type of private care, his office just announced. MORE »

Some kids from the American Conservative Student Union have started a website tracking congressional attendance. It’s a fun little resource, and the “perfect attendance” list is pretty bipartisan. Their list of the worst offenders is above. Naturally, a tax-leeching Dumb-o-crat is right on top. It’s a Democrat who’s still recovering in a hospital from a debilitating brain injury, but isn’t that just like the Dems? MORE »

A source close to the Johnson family told us this little tale last night. MORE »

Republicans are weeping on The Hill over the terrible news that Senator Tim Johnson has been upgraded from “critical” to “fair” condition. MORE »

* Ford and Nixon had a hidden, secret love friendship that lasted from the ’40s through Nixon’s death. Ford also invited Carter to speak at his funeral. It’s not surprising that Ford was so friendly: He liked eating nachos, and watching football. [WP, NYT]
* Saddam will be killed basically any minute now. But probably tomorrow. He’s still in American custody, btw. [NYT, AP]
* Senator Tim Johnson turned 60 yesterday! He celebrated by remaining in intensive care following a brain hemorrhage, still not speaking. [WP]
* Everyone pay attention to Minnesota, guys, it’s totally a petri dish for the whole nation or something. [NYT]
* We’ll soon have 20,000 more troops in Iraq to support. [NYT]

Senator Tim Johnson remains at George Washington University Hospital, recovering from a brain hemorrhage. His condition is more or less unchanged. But the GWU hospital is one of the top in the country at… well, brain stuff. Maybe. We just kinda made that up. But Dick Cheney goes there, and he’s only nearly died a couple dozen times! MORE »