tim geithner
Treasury Gives Tim Geithner Sad Cupcake, Coffee Cup Lid for 50th Birthday
No more coke ‘n hookers Treasury Department birthday parties for you, Tim Geithner. Hard times, indeed. [Treasury Department Flickr]
Greatest Accomplishment Since Capturing Bin Laden: We’ve Hit the Debt Ceiling
WE DID IT! WE DID IT! WE HAVE WON THE CONTEST TO SPEND THE MOST MONEY! It’s official: The U.S. government hit the debt ceiling on Monday, Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner told Congress. Geithner said he would have to suspend investments in federal retirement funds until Aug. 2 in order to create room for the [...]
BUSTED: Jon Stewart Caught Talking With Tim Geithner About ‘Policy’
After carefully inspecting “the Treasury Secretary’s calendar,” Bloomberg News has revealed that Tim Geithner had a top-secret meeting with teevee comic Jon Stewart. What could this mean, besides “Tim Geithner probably doesn’t put ‘secret’ meetings on his calendar”? Brace yourself: The reason, according to a Treasury spokesperson: “Jon Stewart is influential in America, so we [...]
Biden/Volcker Triumph Over Wall Street Fat Cats, For Now
Yay here is your Friday News Roundup of somebody else’s News Roundup regarding Tim Geithner and Larry Summers getting beaten up by greybeards Joe Biden and Paul Volcker! Biden and Volcker are, combined, 150 years old and 150 feet tall; also they are liberal hippies.
Oversight Panel Offers Common-Sense Suggestions For Bailout, Will Probably Be Ignored
Oh hey here is a novel idea: in order to save our tragically beleaguered financial system, we must 1) replace the management at failing banks and 2) liquidate the banks that are completely hosed beyond repair. This makes sense to pretty much everyone, and our new boyfriend Simon Johnson said something like that a while [...]
Is Tim Geithner Secret ‘Reefer Madness’ Nut?
In the beloved tradition of “Is Eliot Spitzer Secret Phone Muppet?”, we bring you this picture of Treasury creep Tim “Turbo Tax” Geithner and this pot-reeking piano-playing lunatic from the classic kids film Reefer Madness. Have these two ever been seen together? No wonder Obama doesn’t want to legalize his dope — then Geithner would [...]
A Children’s Treasury Of Wacky Depressing Clips From Today’s Geithner-Bernanke Hearing
Earlier we showed Barney Frank yelling at the goddamn Code Pink hippies on multiple occasions, but what else happened during this latest 94-hour grandstanding spectacle of a House Financial Services Committee hearing? Why the economy got saved, of course! Ha ha. (Kill us.) America’s C-SPAN watchers did, however, get to see such luminaries as Ron [...]
Geithner Plan May Lose Remaining $1.21 In American Wealth
The stock market has rallied in response to Tim Geithner’s latest details on his plan to fix America’s Banks by giving them lots of money for their trash, which makes sense, because the new plan is good good GOOD for Wall Street! Imagine a world where the government put up like 85% of the financing [...]
Enough With Blaming Chris Dodd For Everything!
Really, this rigmarole about Chris Dodd being the lyingest liar of liars who is responsible for the AIG bonuses because he took money from their contributors before the company broke down is… weak. Trite even!
And We Shall Give Ourselves Over To The Beasts
By the Comics CurmudgeonHa ha, another week gone, another week in which our economy and the posh lifestyle it has afforded us continues to circle the drain, leading us inevitably towards despair! This has of course led to much finger-pointing, recrimination, etc. Should Tim Geithner be in charge of the Treasury? Should the entire class [...]
Tim Geithner Suffers Through Late-Night Meeting With Angry Democrats
Eek, would you want to be locked in a room getting yelled at by Henry Waxman for hours and hours? Because that is how Tim Geithner got to spend his Monday night, hooray! He has the worst job in America, worse even than those people who clean up murder scenes or give Rush Limbaugh enemas.
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