Tag: tim geithner

Good For Your Business

Whole Foods’ Gamble: Will In-Store Tattoo Parlors Attract Enough Insufferable Millennials?

Another week and another chance to celebrate the accomplishments and examine the needless suffering of our favorite Corporate Persons. Thanks for fighting our stupid wars, millennials. Here's another tattoo parlor Are you interested in a tattoo like some common Rock and...

You Really Hurt Giant Pussy Erick Erickson’s Feelings, You Jerks

Who knew RedState editor and Fox News contributor Erick Erickson, son of himself, was such a giant pussy? Oh, sorry, we mean such a "insert euphemism of choice related to the female reproductive system"? Turns out, though, he is,...

Treasury Gives Tim Geithner Sad Cupcake, Coffee Cup Lid for 50th Birthday

No more coke 'n hookers Treasury Department birthday parties for you, Tim Geithner. Hard times, indeed.

Greatest Accomplishment Since Capturing Bin Laden: We’ve Hit the Debt Ceiling

WE DID IT! WE DID IT! WE HAVE WON THE CONTEST TO SPEND THE MOST MONEY! It's official: The U.S. government hit the debt ceiling on Monday, Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner told Congress. Geithner said he would have to suspend investments...

BUSTED: Jon Stewart Caught Talking With Tim Geithner About ‘Policy’

After carefully inspecting "the Treasury Secretary's calendar," Bloomberg News has revealed that Tim Geithner had a top-secret meeting with teevee comic Jon Stewart. What could this mean, besides "Tim Geithner probably doesn't put 'secret' meetings on his calendar"? Brace...

Obama Has a Nice Little Afternoon Economic Speech

Barack Obama would like to sing a love ballad with the economy, but the economy is sick and bed-ridden and being a real dick right now, so he has to make speeches to the American people about it, and...

Biden/Volcker Triumph Over Wall Street Fat Cats, For Now

Yay here is your Friday News Roundup of somebody else's News Roundup regarding Tim Geithner and Larry Summers getting beaten up by greybeards Joe Biden and Paul Volcker! Biden and Volcker are, combined, 150 years old and 150 feet...

RedState Pillages Obama’s BlackBerry In Search Of Conspiracy Booty

Fancy newspaper columnist Edmund Andrews wrote a book about why you should buy his book so the proceeds of his book can go to paying off his subprime mortgage. AIG gave it a AAA rating, which is why the...

Oversight Panel Offers Common-Sense Suggestions For Bailout, Will Probably Be Ignored

Oh hey here is a novel idea: in order to save our tragically beleaguered financial system, we must 1) replace the management at failing banks and 2) liquidate the banks that are completely hosed beyond repair. This makes sense...

Recession Time Is Sexytime!

By the Comics CurmudgeonWell, if Prince is singing about AIG or something, then the recession must officially be sexy! It all makes sense, really: most pastimes Americans have up to this point enjoyed involve spending gobs of money...

Is Tim Geithner Secret ‘Reefer Madness’ Nut?

In the beloved tradition of "Is Eliot Spitzer Secret Phone Muppet?", we bring you this picture of Treasury creep Tim "Turbo Tax" Geithner and this pot-reeking piano-playing lunatic from the classic kids film Reefer Madness. Have these two ever...

A Children’s Treasury Of Wacky Depressing Clips From Today’s Geithner-Bernanke Hearing

Earlier we showed Barney Frank yelling at the goddamn Code Pink hippies on multiple occasions, but what else happened during this latest 94-hour grandstanding spectacle of a House Financial Services Committee hearing? Why the economy got saved, of course!...

Barney Frank Snaps At Code Pink Multiple Times During Important Money Hearing

Here's your "Tuesday Lunch Video," hooray! During today's House Financial Services Committee hearings with archvillains Ben Bernanke and Tim Geithner, Barney Frank interrupted each of them to admonish the daring Code Pink protesters in the room, who came with...

Geithner Plan May Lose Remaining $1.21 In American Wealth

The stock market has rallied in response to Tim Geithner's latest details on his plan to fix America's Banks by giving them lots of money for their trash, which makes sense, because the new plan is good good GOOD...

Enough With Blaming Chris Dodd For Everything!

Really, this rigmarole about Chris Dodd being the lyingest liar of liars who is responsible for the AIG bonuses because he took money from their contributors before the company broke down is... weak. Trite even! For anyone who was...

And We Shall Give Ourselves Over To The Beasts

By the Comics CurmudgeonHa ha, another week gone, another week in which our economy and the posh lifestyle it has afforded us continues to circle the drain, leading us inevitably towards despair! This has of course led to...