Tag Archives: tigers

  oh my

Michigan Lawmakers Want To Let You Own Lions And Tigers, Just As The Founding Fathers Intended

Let’s say you live in Michigan and want to buy a man-eating wild animal. Thanks to burdensome regulations, it’s very difficult to buy a tiger or a bear unless you are a major civic institution zoo. That’s the government for ya, always hassling the small businessman. Thankfully, brave patriots in the Michigan legislature plan to remedy the situation with what we we’ll just pretend is called the Freedom To Own Tigers And Lions Act of 2012. Freedom To Own Tigers And Lions is all about creating more and better jobs, as Governor Rick Snyder might say. Read more on Michigan Lawmakers Want To Let You Own Lions And Tigers, Just As The Founding Fathers Intended…
  it's morning in america

Proto-Bristol Palin: Schwarzenegger Fathered Kid With ‘the Help’

Ten years ago, the Culture of Life was going strong. How do we know this? Arnold Schwarzenegger got one of his maids pregnant a decade ago, and she went through with it, having the kid and pretending her husband was the father. Yay! We’re so happy for that maid! Wasn’t it great that she Chose Life? She will now get to team up with Bristol Palin (assuming she’s not one of those Messicans and can speak English or whatever it is those Palins communicate in) and parade the kid across the country as it TERMINATES teen abortion with all the strength of a grandchild of a Nazi. None of those Kennedy broads-on-the-side ever had a baby, right? That’s how you know Arnold is a Republican. And all of this is why his wife left him. [LAT] Read more on Proto-Bristol Palin: Schwarzenegger Fathered Kid With ‘the Help’… Read more on Proto-Bristol Palin: Schwarzenegger Fathered Kid With ‘the Help’…
  uhhhh

A Questionable Night at the Ringling Brothers & Barnum and Bailey Circus

If you go to the Ringling Brothers & Barnum and Bailey Circus show Over the Top, don’t expect Cirque du Soleil, because you’re not going to get it. You’re going to get what you paid $15 for — lousy tricks, uncoordinated dancing and cheesy dialogue. However, you will be enlightened with knowing where exactly Eastern European women are finding work opportunities in this tough environment. Read more on A Questionable Night at the Ringling Brothers & Barnum and Bailey Circus…
  kitty!

Putin Gets Pretty Tiger For His Birthday

America’s favorite frienemy Decepticon, Vladimir Putin, was given this wild monster, a “tigress cub,” for his 56th birthday. He “was shown stroking the two- month-old tigress at a meeting with Russian journalists at his residence outside Moscow.” Rowr…?? The gift-givers thought it would be hilarious — a great party joke! — given Putin’s tendency to shoot tigers. Russian irony! Very dark! [Bloomberg] Read more on Putin Gets Pretty Tiger For His Birthday…