Well, Barack Obama has failed again. The so-called president isn’t quite as popular as Nazi Pope Joseph Ratzinger and Partially-African-American Nike model Tiger Woods combined, according to an idiotic new study which also revealed that 5% of Americans want to meet and have their topless picture taken with teevee’s Hannah Montana. MORE »

It has been over a year since some Republican finally made the obvious connection, in public, that Barack Obama and professional golf player Tiger Woods are the same person. Both are half-black, half-Muslin, and half-Asian but still manage to be polite human beings who speak eloquently and don’t go on welfare or murder children. In fact it is racist to even mention Barack Obama in a sentence that doesn’t also include Tiger Woods. And so on Monday (4/20!…?) Barack Obama invited Tiger Woods to the White House, and photos of this important historical race meeting have been released to the public today. MORE »

Condi Rice wrote an article for Tina Brown’s Internet Welfare Program For Lonely Republican Spinsters, and it is all about her new favorite game, golf. Somebody who knows something about golf might be able to “analyze” this article but we are not Deadspin over here so let’s just pick out some funny quotes. MORE »

John McCain and his loser friends are all racists, which we know because they made an ad with Britney Spears and Paris Hilton but not Brad Pitt, Tiger Woods, David Beckham or The Police. Can you even believe it. Back here on Planet Earth, however, there actually was some pretty clear racial shit coming out of the McCain campaign yesterday — not necessarily in their accusing Obama of playing the Race Card, but in the cleverly chosen words they used to accuse him of this. Horrible subliminal racist anger over O.J. Simpson, meet the candidacy of Barack Obama. MORE »

There’s been a hilarious debate on the Internet the last couple of days, as per usual, about whether the McCain “Celeb” ad was Racist because it chose two young white gals, Paris Hilton and Britney Spears, as Barack Obama’s alter egos instead of the actual two most famous celebrities in the world. It is, apparently, a similar situation to the attack ad on Harold Ford in 2006, where he is constantly talking to loose white women on the telephone. If John McCain were to *objectively* pick the two most famous people in the world, the liberals argue, at least one of them would have been TIGER WOODS, the GOLFER. The conservatives do not believe Tiger Woods counts, however, because he has accomplishments!

Prepare to rock and/or roll. MORE »

At a pro-war rally Tuesday in DC held by the “Vets for Freedom” and featuring a glorious speech from John McCain, the most obvious pop culture connection to the current presidential race was finally made. By a racist, most likely. At least he is a tool, this David Bellavia who introduced John McCain, and here is what he said about the biracial liberal Democrats: “You can have your Tiger Woods. We have Senator McCain.” He means to say that we are supposed to prefer Senator McCain over Tiger Woods in some election, right? But who doesn’t love Tiger Woods more than this old coot? Anyway, video is after the jump. MORE »

Have you ever thought of how Tiger Woods is like Barack Obama, and how the fact that Obama was born in the early 1960s is definitive proof that he is a Communist? And if you haven’t, might this willful ignorance be due to the Political Correctness Machine’s crushing of honest inquiry? MORE »