Wonkette

• POOR BABIES: Apparently all Democratic Senators are complaining about how each is allotted only eight tickets to Barack Obama’s convention speech at Invesco Field. So everyone get together, let’s say it in unison, here we go: Aww. [Ben Smith]

Yesterday, conservative columnist Bob Novak ran over a pedestrian who flew on top of his windshield. Then Novak sped away and, when captured, pretended that he had no idea. The police gave him a $50 ticket. Maybe in this economy that’s a lot, hmm? Anyway, the victim was originally reported as a 66-year-old pedestrian, but according to new information, he is actually an 86-year-old homeless guy who remains in the hospital. The Main Stream Media continues to conceal the truth, which is that the victim is a 72-year-old homeless doctor martyr named Ron Paul. [Washington Post]

Tired? Angry? Scared? Confused? We recommend a full helping of Butterstick. And not that way. Pandas will not overturn Roe. Pandas will not give you bird flu. Pandas will not close the Senate. Not unless it’s really important. What do they do? They take first steps. The chew bamboo contentedly. They restore our faith in the world. Butterstick (known in some circles as Tai Shan, whatever) makes his public debut will be on display in a special sneak preview for volunteers and National Zoo members* next week and the first batch of tickets — over 6000 of them — sold out in four hours. But don’t despair! You’ll get another crack at His Creamy Goodness at 9AM today. Tickets are available through the Friends of the National Zoo website and you better make it snappy, only 1800 are being let loose. MORE »