Wonkette

Oh no, some sort of 9/11 is happening in downtown D.C. today: “Authorities have closed portions of two downtown Washington streets as they investigate the discovery of several containers carrying an unknown substance. D.C. fire department spokesman Alan Etter says the containers were found on a sidewalk midday Thursday at the corner of 15th and I streets. Hazmat crews are working to determine what is inside the containers and who put them there.” The “air around the containers tested negative,” so it’s probably just urine. As far as who put them there, well: “A Spanish-language bible appears to be resting on top one of the containers.” The Bush Administration is expected to bomb a random brown country by nightfall. [WJLA]

A Louisiana stockbroker, enraged over changes to Canadian tax law, wrote to the Canadian finance minister that “I am going to cut your … throat … you can’t hide, I will find you” and “You have killed my business as a stockbroker … you have ruined my life and many of my clients life [sic] and I hear you think it is funny.” He was arrested and charged with two counts of “sending a threatening interstate communication”. Welcome to Canamerimexico, everybody! [The Globe and Mail]