• May 28, 2012

thomas friedman

Our nation’s leading pundits can always be expected to act like the gentlemen-scholars they are, especially while riding public transportation. That’s why CNN fringe-right psychopath Erick “RedState” Erickson has just been twittering important eyewitness accounts of bestselling conventional-wisdom hack Thomas Friedman allegedly being a total asshole to some poor Amtrak employee, who apparently didn’t dispose [...]

Barack Obama would like to sing a love ballad with the economy, but the economy is sick and bed-ridden and being a real dick right now, so he has to make speeches to the American people about it, and did so this afternoon in Ohio. Yes, the media would prefer to talk about some random [...]

by Ken Layne  1:18 pm June 15, 2010

THOMAS FRIEDMAN ACCURATELY DESCRIBED: He’s a “barely literate cartoon mustache of oversimplification whose understanding of global politics is slightly less comprehensive than a USA Today infographic and who possesses about as much insight into world events as a lightly vandalized Wikipedia stub entry.” [Alex Pareene/Salon]

The media industry has fully recovered, as evidenced by this job listing seeking thirty (30!) journalists at the Atlantic Media Group. But Atlantic Media Group’s National Journal just got rid of thirty (30!) journalists through buyouts, so the net gain of Journalism Jobs is zero (0). Still, this is enough for a shitty trend column [...]

Literally. Seriously. He seriously lives here. Honestly. If you were this free from Want, wouldn’t you be writing the same fantasy bullshit too? (No.) [Balloon Juice]

Poorly executed human mustache Thomas Friedman has a solution to our country’s unpopular “no jobs problem.” It involves like, everyone starting a business, right? But see the incentive (or “moral hazard”) is that everyone’s going to be selling products they invented themselves. “Obama should make the centerpiece of his presidency mobilizing a million new start-up [...]

Wonkette artistic contributor (and Chicago Reader staffer, yay!) Lauri Apple has a special War On Xmas Eve present to bless all of you, everyone: It’s the Talking Thomas Friedman Doll, direct from a business-class flight from some exotic foreign destination with Pizza Huts and golf courses! He’s so full of crap, your dogs will try [...]

We guess New York Times op-ed satirist Thomas Friedman went so broke with the collapse of his wife’s shopping-center fortune that now he’s forced to ride the Metro like a common poor person who doesn’t even understand how playing golf in China explains the miraculous way KFC and Taco Bell often share the same building [...]

In case you didn’t get the memo, on Twitter: Thomas Friedman is still a dumb asshole. [Matt Yglesias] Sean Hannity is a “strong voice,” a Castrato, actually. [RedState] Howard Dean, who quit The Politics forever so he could spend more time staring at perky lady-breasts, would definitely vote against the health care bill if he [...]

It’s then that it hits me: Here I am playing an ancient Scottish game with metal sticks in Java while doodling giraffe penises on my Apple Blackberry Etch-a-Sketch function designed by brown-blacks in Eritrea and there are Mongolian goats in the background ordering garlic hummus at the Taco Bell/KFC where the hobbit employees are albino [...]

We were going to do another Children’s Treasury to “honor 9/11,” to remember the most cosmically mind-fucking outbursts that various still-to-this-day-employed pundits said about death & war between 2001 and 2003, but why not just give the full stage to The Mustache of Truth and his famous “Suck. On. This.” Manifesto from May 30, 2003? [...]

In the most shameful “gaffe” since Watergate, socialist prime minister Barack Obama’s press office has apparently put some crappy best-seller book on his vacation reading list even though he was supposedly reading the book last year. God, this guy. Why not just put him in jail now?

Notable New York Times stater of the obvious, occasional pie-target, and secret True/Slant commentator Thomas Friedman used to be made of money. His wife’s money, specifically, from malls. But then the malls went into bankruptcy and poor Tom Friedman must sing for his supper in tiny $75,000 increments.

by Ken Layne  6:38 pm April 1, 2009

READ THIS REVIEW OF THOMAS FRIEDMAN: This is brutal and necessary. Ha, but it’s from 2005. April Fools, etc. [Matt Taibbi]

“One more hit, baby. Just one more toke on the ole oil pipe. … Give me one more pop from that drill, please, baby. Just one more transfusion of that sweet offshore crude.” PUT THAT AWAY. [New York Times]