Tag: thinkprogress

Donald Trump’s Crimes Against Food Cannot Go Unanswered

Donald Trump is a horrific amalgamation of spray-tan contents, bile, and discarded golden retriever hair -- on this, we can all agree. He's advocated for war crimes, spoken out against the First Amendment, and committed atrocities against decency almost...

Yelp Fires Employee For Publicly Criticizing Company, Internet Somehow Shocked

You may have seen a story kicking around these here internets over the weekend -- that is, if you weren't busy laughing at Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz celebrating their second-and-third-place victories in South Carolina. The story involved a Yelp...

Maryland Rep Opposes DC Statehood Because Of All These Facts He Just Made Up

You know what would be a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad thing for the country? If Washington DC, the only part of the continental United States that currently gets no actual say in the legislative branch of government, got full...

60 Minutes Will Win One Million Pulitzers For 100% Error-Free Reporting On Clean Technology

Know what we hate? The leftwing mainstream media always being so leftwing-y and librul and stroking Obama’s knob by not investimigating his super-fake birth certificate and not focusing enough on BENGHAZI (enough = 25 hours per day) and generally...

Pennsylvania Proves Government Can Work! (At Passing Laws That Suppress The Minority Vote)

Remember all that conspiracy around the election when Democrats were saying that Republicans were trying to suppress democratic voters and Republicans were all, “Naw, mang, we just really care about voter fraud from predominantly minority populations.” But then officials...

Jennifer Granholm Just Not Used To All The Stupid Things Rick Santorum Says

Why does Rick Santorum keep getting asked on the yap shows? He does not hold an elected office, has not held an elected office since 2007, and does not have anything remotely redeeming to say about much of anything,...

Hero Congressman Defends America From Commie Socialist Nuns

Nuns are so sweet and all, trying to help others and whatnot, but they really should maybe think twice about all the barnstorming they are doing around the country lately until they take a class in civics, or math....

Ohio Secretary of State John Husted Refuses to Comply With Court Order That Would ‘Confuse’ Voters

Remember when Ohio Republican Secretary of State John Husted tried to extend voting hours in Republican counties, and then when everyone bitched and moaned about it he was all FINE, I WILL TURN THIS CAR AROUND AND NO ONE...

Fellowship Of the Libtard Will Expose Frodo Tea Baggins’ Racism

A giant racist Tea Bagger shadow has been cast over Middle-Earth (continental United States). And every day this racism grows, because nobody is strong enough to stand up and say, "Stop being racist," and also Americans are too fat...

O’Reilly Goons Chase Down Blogger Lady On Vacation

Sometimes people say mean things about political entertainment show host Bill O'Reilly, and he responds by dispatching clownish minions to stalk them for a while. Usually the targets are liberal opinion writers, like Cynthia Tucker of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution...

DICK CHENEY IS BLACK!