You know the story: Jean Valjean steals the candlesticks, adopts the street rat, is harassed by Inspector Javert forever and dies. The end. Catch the Signature Theater’s production of Les Miserables before it ends on Feb. 22. [Signature Theatre] MORE »

Friday, Feb. 6: The Freer Gallery is screening Loose Rope tonight, a Persian film about two men who must deliver a cow to the northern part of Tehran in 24 hours, or else their jobs are at stake. Sounds like a typical American movie, except you’d have to replace “cow” with “cocaine” and “Tehran” with “Inglewood.” 7PM. [Smithsonian] MORE »

So voters in our poll overwhelmingly thought that Sen. George Allen is an ignorant ass:

Gawker Media polls require Javascript; if you’re viewing this in an RSS reader, click through to view in your Javascript-enabled web browser.

We were rooting for option three, actually: a rebirth of old-time radio greats Burns and Allen. Come on, remember when The Fat Boys reinvented the Three Stooges in Disorderlies? That was great! Why would this be any different?

To that end, we present Episode 1 of “The New Adventures of Burns and Allen: A Day At The United Nations.” Read it after the jump.

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