Wonkette

* Property taxes for the Warehouse Next Door/Theater are increasing over 500%. Possible move or closure after July. [Life in Mount Vernon Square]
* Something for the earthy socialite to do in the morning. [The Green Miles]
* Stars of Artomatic. [Mid Atlantic Art News]
* Are you looking for a “SPM who has enough spare time to blog, and a job good enough to afford bottled beer on occasion and a grill to prepare meat and veggies on?” He comes with free phone, wireless Internet and cable. And what is the “P” for? [New Kid on the Eckington Block]

* Opening night of The Pillowman at the Metheny Theatre. “A writer comes under suspicion when his stories resemble real-life tales of child murders.” $39-42 at 8PM. [Studio Theatre]
* Journalist Andrew Cockburn discusses Rumsfeld: His Rise, Fall, and Catastrophic Legacy at Olsson’s in Penn Quarter.
The book “details Rumsfeld’s decisions in the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan and also shows how his political legacy stretches back decades and will reach far into the future.” Free at 7PM. [Olsson's]
* Professors Earl and Merle Black have a new book about “the importance of region in politics nationally. Instead of simple differences between the North and South, we now have differences among five regions: Northeast and Pacific Coast, often blue; Mountains/Plains and South, often red; with the Midwest as a swing region.” At Politics & Prose. Free at 7PM. [P&P]

* Reliable Source: Broadway play about the complex relationship between Supreme Court Justices Harry Blackmun and Warren Burger to be pretty much like The Sunshine Boys but funnier… Matt Damon’s here filming. Much more exciting: Nic “Ghost Rider” Cage will be here soon. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Tony Snow played his damn flute again… Ron Paul: Very popular on the internet… There is a Furry in a dolphin suit repping for Mitt Romney at CPAC. [Examiner]

* Something called Resistance Theater presents SIR! NO SIR! The Untold Story of the GI Movement to End the War in Vietnam at the Black Cat. $5 at 9PM. [Black Cat]
* Michael Lowenthal discusses Charity Girl, a novel in which he explores a “WWI-era US government practice in which young poor women suspected of being infected with venereal disease were tracked down and sent to detention centers to prevent them from infecting soldiers.” At Politics & Prose. Free at 7PM. [P&P]
* Collecting painting and $culpture is one of the most energizing, intellectually $timulating, and fulfilling of pa$times, but getting $tarted can seem overwhelming and even intimidating. In this evening $eminar, learn how to make your collecting dream$ a reality… di$cern your taste, di$cover what medium you like and under$tand what will keep you happy for the long term. At the Smithsonian. $35 at 6:30PM. [Smithsonian]

Friday MORE »

Friday

• Last weekend of Help Wanted: A Personal Search for Meaningful Employment at the Start of the 21st Century. Written and performed by Josh Lefkowitz. Woolly Mammoth Theatre Company. $15 at 8PM. [Woolly Mammoth]

• Colombian film The Art of Losing at AFI. Tonight and tomorrow night meet Director Sergio Cabrera and actress(sultry bar hostess ) Martina García. 9:10PM. The film is a detective story about a journalist, a nudist colony and the “Bogota underworld.” [AFI]
• Last day for “Freud’s World in Photos” at the Embassy of Austria. Photos of Freud’s home, office and family comprise “the fullest documentation of the working and personal environment of the man who revolutionized modern thinking.” [Embassy of Austria]

Saturday

• Handsome grandson Hank Williams III at the Black Cat. $15 at 9:30PM. [Black Cat]

• Hip hop trio One Self (An American, a Russian and Swedish-born Chilean/Brazilian) at the Rock and Roll Hotel. $12 at 9PM. [Rock and Roll Hotel]
• Drag City’s Smog put on a show to make you drink. With Vandaver at Iota. $13 at 9:30PM. [Iota]
• Clinton advisor Sidney Blumenthal discusses “the entire Bush agenda, the failed war, the reckless economic policy, and the ruinous battle against intelligence professionals in the CIA and the State Department,” in the cleverly titled How Bush Rules. P&P at 6PM. [P&P]

Sunday

• Last night of Sonic Circuits DC at the Warehouse, with Wolf Eyes, John Wiese, Ovo, Mr. Natural, Harrius, Facemat, HZMT, Mat Weston & Tone Ghosting. 8:30PM. [Warehouse]

• From Buenos Aires, Juana Molina is a beautiful singer and celebrated comedian. She also belongs in a Michel Gondry movie. At Iota. $15 at 8:30PM. [Iota]

Monday

• Built to Spill have become Matthew McConaughey in Dazed and Confused. $20 at the 9:30 Club. [9:30 Club]

Friday

• Dutch rockers Bettie Serveert w/ E. Joseph at Iota $12 at 9:30PM. [Iota]

• Go, Man, Go is a semi-fictional history of the Harlem Globetrotters, featuring Reece “Goose” Tatum, “Sweetwater” Clifton and Marques Haynes. 7PM at the Mary Pickford Theater. [LOC]
• Liberation Dance Party at DC9. $5. [DC9]

Saturday

• Busy day at Politics & Prose. At 1PM Dorothy Fall talks about Bernard Fall: Memories of a Soldier-Scholar. At 3PM Eve Harold with Stem Cell Wars and at 6PM the Atlantic Monthly’s James Fallows with Blind into Baghdad. Stay all day. Have a grilled cheese. [P&P]

• The Goons’ last show ever, at the Black Cat with the Twats. $10 at 9:30PM. [Black Cat]
• Walking tour “History of Slavery in Adams Morgan and Kalorama.” 11AM- 1PM. Meets at 18th and Columbia Rd. in front of Suntrust. Learn more about the lost African American cemetery. Free. [Cultural Tourism DC]

Sunday

3rd Crafty Bastards Arts & Crafts Fair. Local artists sell arts and crafts, clothing, food, everything. Bands play, good prizes. All day at the Marie Reed Learning Center at 18th & Wyoming NW. [Crafty Bastards!]

Friday

• Bob Newhart is a funny man. He discusses his new book I Shouldn’t Even Be Doing This: And Other Funny Things That Strikes Me as Funny at Borders tonight. The one at 18th and L NW. Free at 6PM. [Borders]
• Can Bob Newhart compete with AP and WP reporter John Pomfret? Your body is saying yes. Pomfret talks about Chinese Lessons, his new book about “the new China.” Politics & Prose. Free at 7PM. [P&P]

Saturday

• Happy Rosh Hashanah. [Judaism 101]
• Worst President Ever. This is a one-man show about how badly the President sucks. Unfortunately for this one man and his show, the Washington Times called it “hilarious.” Warehouse Theater. 7:30PM. [Warehouse]

Sunday

• Have you ever seen a dog talk on the telephone? Wear glasses? Sunday may be your last chance. William Wegman takes photos of weimaraners doing “funney” things. At the Smithsonian American Art Museum. [Smithsonian]
• Colin Blunstone and Rod Argent of The Zombies, The Mooney Suzuki, The Fleshtones, The Woggles and The Five Maseratis at the Black Cat. $20 at 8PM. Caution: This event is co-hosted by 94.7 “The Arrow” and may involve frisbees, cozies or a “personality.” [Black Cat]
• Opening night of the Bodog Battle of the Bands at DC9. $15 at 7PM. We really wanted to summarize this 3-day music event for you. We have had plenty of Advil, we read the website and looked at the pictures. Is it a video game? Is VH1 involved? Why is it called Bootcamp? We have no answers. [Bodog Battle of the Bands]

Friday

• Warren Beatty and Julie Christie as “a braggart gambler and an opium-addicted whore” in Robert Altman’s 1971 McCabe & Mrs. Miller. Through Sunday. [AFI]

• Dave Attell at DC Improv. All shows sold out but tickets moving on Craigslist. [craigslist]

Saturday

• Bloated Buffalonian Tim Russert at Politics and Prose. 11AM. [P&P]

• Cute woodcuts by Kirk Waldroff at The Washington Printmakers Gallery in Dupont Circle. Plus, they offer printmaking demos once a month. [The Washington Printmakers Gallery]
• HonFest ‘06 in Baltimore. Get a Hairspray makeover and drink in the street. [HonFest]

Sunday

• Sri Lanka’s Guerilla Marketing. A politician hires “ruthless” PR exec to design his campaign ads . Modern dance, traditional and contemporary music come into play somehow. Free. 2 pm. [The Freer]

• 31st annual Capital Pride Street Festival. Dance Party at 7PM. Note: You will not see a single member of Senator Inhofe’s (extremely) extended family there. Not one. [Capital Pride]

We’ll spend the weekend wishing we had a $2.5 million book deal — congrats, Valerie! — and disappointment that the new CIA director is probably going to be Gen. Michael V. Hayden (rather than the uber-hot Fran Townsend). But here are a few things that you can do on this glorious spring weekend: MORE »

* Gallery openings galore. [DC Art News] MORE »

It’s the weekend. And even if the weather won’t be quite as nice as it was last weekend, there’s still much fun to be had. MORE »