Wonkette

• Palin had a tanning bed installed in the Alaska’s governor’s mansion. She could see Russia from that tanning bed. [Ezra Klein]
• Look into Barack Obama’s very soul with a theocrat/secularist ass thermometer that also appears to be a hypnosis device. [BeliefNet]
• Palin is trying to get some hockey moms to wear a button that features this nautical star thing popular with emo heroin addicts. [Jonathan Martin]
• Despite “not wanting to judge” gay people, Palin’s church has a history of trying to “cure” gay people, with Jesus! [Andrew Sullivan]
• In a new teevee commercial, Obama exposes McCain’s corrupt secret handshakes with lobbying fatcats like President Bush. [Crooks and Liars]
• Bored out of her mind, Cindy McCain begins public ladyfeud with the mental cases on The View, even the weepy conservative one! [Fresh Intelligence]

What is the world coming to when the ladies on The View ask John McCain the toughest questions he’s gotten in weeks? And yet even these hardened journalists don’t follow up on one of his most infuriating talking points of this whole infuriating campaign, which is that he had to start running ads that were complete utter laughable bullshit lies because Obama didn’t want to debate him as often as McCain would have liked. This is akin to saying, “I was forced to smother your house in a truckload of diarrhea because you wouldn’t answer my phone calls.” Anyhow, here he is, squirming despicably. [Huffington Post]

This is the most crucial segment of Michelle Obama’s amazing visit to The View, in which the ladies discuss Mrs. Obama’s fierce guns, Whoopi Goldberg congratulates her for having teeth without gold around them, and Barbara Walters bitches about pantyhose. Then Michelle tells a cute story about her ten-year-old daughter, who can’t pass any laws. [RedLasso]

The next President of the United States, Michelle Obama, will debase herself before an audience of nice American ladies when she guest-hosts The View today with Barbara Walters, Whoopi Goldberg, Bette Midler, Boy George, and Ferris Bueller. Stay with us as we liveblog this possibly tragicomic trainwreck at 11AM Eastern — just one short hour from now! [The View]

Barbara Walters is so senile that she can’t remember hosting her ladies teevee show, The View, with Barack Obama. [Comedy Central]

MICHELLE OBAMA WILL HOST THE VIEW! Are you unemployed or otherwise homebound? Then you may enjoy a popular teevee show of black and white ladies called The View … and Mrs. First Lady Michelle “White Power” Obama will be on this show, as a host, again, soon! [Gawker]

Barack Obama was on teevee’s female program The View this morning. These ladies are all really terrible and how any of them got famous, historians will never quite understand. So here they are shouting “YOU’RE VERY SEXY” in Obama’s face, the end.

Three days after Hillary’s surprise victory in New Hampshire, the media consensus is that it was Chris “Rangoon” Matthews‘ fault, because he’s a misogynist. On today’s edition of Morning Joe, MSNBC continued its navel-gazing by getting Matthews’ response to the ladies of The View. Barbara Walters et al. had called Matthews’ insinuation that Hillary is running because Bill “messed around” inappropriate and vaguely sexist. But according to Matthews, that’s historical fact, unfuckwithable, not open to discussion, GAME OVER MAN.

We were only waiting for this moment to arrive. And finally, here it is: Ron Paul made an appearance this Today on The View! Paul, the first Republican to do the show, is breaking ranks from other presidential contenders and their wives who have supported the writer’s strike. See Whoopi hold herself back from pouncing on Paul’s ass! Listen to Joy take Paul to task on Roe v. Wade! Listen as Ron Paul himself say he will not kill babies in his house! Watch Kate Walsh sit and look pretty (sigh).

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Earlier this week, we squealed in delight at the news that Michelle Obama is going to be co-hosting The View on December 5th. But, naturally, there’s got to be someone bringing us down.

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Ladies and gentlemen, set your TiVos and DVRs because The View is about to be worth watching even for those of us who don’t like daytime TV!

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* Hey, everybody’s numbers are up to pathetically low from repulsively low. [Political Wire]
* This month’s monthly poll of nutcases shows that they’re all still nuts. [Right Wing News]
* Hillary is a family values candidate. [Election Central]
* John McCain will wrestle that filthy Ahmadinejad to the fucking ground if he has to. [Fresh Intelligence]
* Someone should tell Bill Richardson that it’s one vote per person, no matter how much they weigh. [MoJo]
* Hillary Clinton’s fave fundraiser has been charged with defrauding investors of about $60 million. Which, you know, is a crime. [Political Radar]
* Whoopie Goldberg makes some very good points. [Liberal Avenger]

* Rudy Giuli don’t give a fuck about two party ruley. [Political Wire]
* Walnuts is a maverick, Jamie McIntyre is a massive prick. [Media Matters]
* Second rate actors in town advocating for nipples everywhere. [MoJo]
* Democratic presidential campaigns resemble 7th-grade class president campaigns. [The Swamp]
* Talking politics on The View also not unlike talking politics with 7th graders. [Newsbusters]
* Minnesotans cool with cosplay, Al Franken. [Wizbang Politics]
* Robert Gates is probably a liar, definitely a pussy. [TPM Muckraker, Weekly Standard]