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Posts Tagged ‘the state’

MEDIA WHORES

More Terrible Email Requests From Media Seeking An Audience With Mark Sanford

Wednesday, July 15th, 2009

SexbotSouth Carolina’s embarrassing Argentine love-tango scandal may have made its governor look bad, but two parties have emerged from this sad nightmare smelling like little roses: Jenny Sanford, and The State newspaper. Yesterday the paper released a pack of hilariously sycophantic requests from various media outlets to Governor Sanford’s office suggesting that — !!! — sometimes reporters and media types imply that their subjects will get favorable coverage if they’ll just respond to a goddamn interview request. MORE »


DUDE?

A Children’s Treasury Of Wacky Media Inquiries About Mark Sanford’s Sexy Disappearance

Tuesday, July 14th, 2009

For several days in late June, Mark Sanford spokesman Joel Sawyer had just about the worst job ever, having to deal with every national reporter and local legislator asking about Sanford’s whereabouts — which he did not know and could not find out, because Mark Sanford makes sure to turn off his cellphone when he’s sexing Argentine Firecrackers, which is always. What hilarious e-mails did Sawyer receive during these mysterious times, from the terrible media, and Stephen Colbert? Thanks to a successful open records request from South Carolina’s The State newspaper, we now present a Children’s Treasury of several! MORE »


WE'LL MAKE A NOTE OF IT!

South Carolina Lt. Governor Denies Being Insanely Gay

Tuesday, June 30th, 2009

No pants!Like most people, South Carolina Lieutenant Governor AndrĂ© Bauer is potentially gay. The evidence is overwhelming, about him being gay. Most obviously, nice accent aigu there, gay guy! And he’s not even married. He’s so hot and powerful and yet not married to a woman! What is up with that. So when Mark Sanford resigns for having sex with a lady, will South Carolina have its first gay governor, AndrĂ©? No, according to the Frenchman himself. None of this. MORE »


HISTORICAL MOMENTS IN JOURNALISM

Reporter Reveals How She Got Exclusive Sanford AM Airport SCOOP

Thursday, June 25th, 2009

Well here is a sort of sad but interesting angle on the Sanford Firecracker Love Scandal, straight from The State reporter Gina Smith, who drove 200 miles to corner the exhausted governor of South Carolina at 6:15 in the morning yesterday as he was arriving back at the Atlanta airport, probably all morning breath-y. MORE »


'VIBRANT PINK COMING ALIVE'

Wednesday, June 24th, 2009
  • SOMEONE’S BEEN SITTING ON A STORY: Important journalism newspaper The State has released some e-mails between Sanford and “Maria” that they obtained (how??) last December. Fap away! [The State]

HILLARY CLINTON

Tuesday, January 22nd, 2008

*DEAD CONFEDERATE TREES FOR BARRY:* In a move that defies South Carolina’s general penchant for racism, the state’s largest print journalism newspaper — The State — has endorsed Barack Hussein Obama for Saturday’s primary. Obama thanked the paper by buying it and then leasing it out to various Chicago slumlords, according to Hillary Clinton. [The State]