the south

We are sorry to be the ones to have to tell you this, but not only is Barack Hussein Obama “exotic,” but also he is 47 percent negro (because MATH) and some sad crackers in the South and Arizona, the South of the Southwest, have some Feelings about that. Tell us about your Feelings, sad […]

The daily life of American children in 2011 is, at best, a tragedy. They are obese from inhaling Pop’em donuts in front of the teevee, knocked up from having slumber parties in the wilderness, and they are also only mildly literate. The obesity thing is Michelle Obama’s problem, but when it comes to education, the […]

Mississippi is a book by William Faulkner that somehow turned into a dumb reality show called Haley Barbour and Other Comical Racist White Villains With Dumb Accents vs. Poor Black People Forever. And ever since the nation’s poorest, most obese and reliably Republican-voting state got Internet access last year, the main thing the people of […]

How’s the “best health care system in the world” doing, these days? Uhh …. Large swaths of the United States are showing decreasing or stagnating life expectancy even as the nation’s overall longevity trend has continued upwards, according to a county-by-county study of life expectancy over two decades. In one-quarter of the country, girls born […]

On Monday, Tennessee’s state House passed a bill to ban local laws that protect gay citizens from discrimination after the cesspool that is Nashville decided it would start considering gay people human beings of all things. (GAYS ARE A TYPE OF PLANT LIFE, NASHVILLE.) This is a fairly proactive approach to quelling equality before it […]

We’re not sure how this is news in Tennessee, where schoolteacher John Scopes lost the “Scopes Monkey Trial” (in both the state courts and the U.S. Supreme Court) back in 1925-26, but “Tennessee’s Republican-dominated House of Representatives has overwhelmingly passed a bill that would protect teachers who want to challenge the theory of human evolution.” […]

Hey, you know what’s happening in the year 2010? A guy recently elected to the state legislature in Arkansas is the local chairman of a secessionist organization and says the flag of the Confederacy is “a symbol of Jesus Christ,” which is interesting, because other people would say that thing is a symbol that there’s […]

Every day, President Obama wakes up beside Rahm Emanuel (they are both naked) and wonders how he can force you stupid fucks to retroactively abort your children. This is his primary goal, as Commander-in-Chief. And then he gets up and does other things. One of the things “he” (as in the slaves he employs) has […]

Are you bummed about not being able to own African slaves, both because of your permanently doomed financial condition and also the anti-state’s-rights 13th amendment to the Constitution? Well we hope you are enjoying being an angry old white slob with a moldy sofa on your porch! Also, you may want to “subscribe” to the […]

Last week your Wonkette posted some news about racism in Tennessee, because it was so shocking and rare and etc. Racism, in the South?! Many days later, this post drained all the way to the Internet’s southern parts, where a proud local man discovered the item in question, maybe on his ex-wife’s cousin’s ‘puter. He […]

South Carolina is filled with traitors — traitors who literally started a war with the United States, because we would not let them keep the vast majority of their population as chattel slaves. And the people of this bog-state are apparently *flaunting* these terroristic inclinations even today, according to Wonkette operative “Ed M.,” who just […]

Okay, this isn’t even funny anymore. This is just tragic, plus OMFG WHAT DID HE COUGH UP, UGH? “Jes’ sum chew.” When we are President, webcams will not be so casually distributed to Real Americans. This video is Not Safe for your brain/soul. [YouTube]

THE RAPIST FINDER  3:05 pm August 5, 2009

by Ken Layne

‘THE PRESIDENT IS A NAGGER.’ Hmm what could possibly go wrong with that statement , on an outdoor sign with easily changeable letters, in Kentucky? [WLWT-TV]

Huzzah for the Can-Do spirit of Americans, who continue to just pile on the pounds despite the nation’s crushed economy. Turns out you don’t need much money to become obese! And without jobs, Americans have more time than ever to sit in front of teevee eating another bucket of corn-syrup taco-ball cheezey-poop pasta-bowl Grease Dipperz™. […]