Wonkette

Robert Novak returns to CNN tonight — he’ll be on the The Situation Room at 5:25 to discuss his new book, The Prince of Darkness: 50 Years of Pissing Everyone Off, and not discussing his getting shitcanned from that network after erratic behavior and his role in the Plamegate thing.

* Joint Chiefs wary of troop increase in Iraq, make their case to the White House, get accused of being too “focused on the mission.” [WP]
* Robert Gates is sworn in as Secretary of Defense, uses occasion to dig Rumsfeld. Plus one. [WP]
* Rudy Giuliani is about to find out how Christian conservatives feel about politicians that are “Made in New York City.” [WP]
* Big Juan Enrique was a lettuce pickin’ man, died with that arugula in his hand. [WSJ]
* Justice Department inquiry into detainee abuse runs into dead-end, produces no indictments. [NYT]
* Sam Brownback lays down and lets a nominee for the Federal bench proceed, expects a reach-around. [NYT]
* India’s nuclear program goes legit. [WP, NYT]
* Renovated White House “Situation Room” is substantially less impressive than those used by Bartlett, Bauer, and Blitzer. [NYT]

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We spent a bit of time trawling through Michael Brown’s email for that definitive piece of evidence that would exonerate him (it was the one-armed man who didn’t rescue those couple hundred black people, seriously!), but we never found anything this good.

CNN is hedging their bets re. its authenticity, but it supposedly comes from a “good friend” of Brown’s and the President’s (right, right). Assuming it’s real, we’d be happy to hear your guesses as to the sender’s identity. But that’s a pretty big assumption, considering that all we have to go on is a very clean-looking and conveniently redacted .pdf. Wait, look, we found another email!

It’s got a big Situation Room stamp on it! It has to be authentic! Wolf Blitzer’s personal seal of approval — look for it on all your sensitive and politically damning correspondence. MORE »

Live, in The Situation Room: MORE »

Yesterday afternoon, our most favorite congresswoman ever, Rep. Cynthia McKinney, spoke with CNN’s Wolf Blitzer on “The Situation Room.” This was shortly after Blitzer reported that federal prosecutors are considering whether to bring charges against McKinney stemming out of her recent scuffle with Capitol Police.

Here are some highlights:

BLITZER: Well, here is what some of your critics are saying, and I know you know this. And we’ll put a picture up, a recent photo that is in the Capitol Hill book.

This was a picture of you now. This is what you look like now. Obviously, you have a new hairstyle, as opposed to your old hairstyle. And what they’re saying is, when you changed your hairstyle, they didn’t recognize you, they politely asked you to stop and you resisted several attempts by one of the Capitol Hill Police officers to stop and to identify yourself. And as a result, there was this altercation in which they say you allegedly hit the police officer.

MCKINNEY: Wolf, the only thing I can say about the juxtaposition of those two pictures is that in one of them I happen to have a little more makeup on about the way I am here on CNN today. But the bottom line is that my face hasn’t changed, and I haven’t changed.

I’ve looked like this for the entire 11 years that I have been in Congress. And so, I don’t understand exactly why it is that certain police officers have a problem remembering my face….

Amen! It is somewhat ridiculous that the Capitol Police officers can’t recognize a representative, after seeing her day after day for over a decade — regardless of how she styles her hair. It reminds us of that elderly door monitor at the university library who insisted on scrutinizing our I.D. card at length, every single time we entered, even after seeing us several times a day for the better part of three years.

More insanity after the jump.

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News junkies everywhere are celebrating today’s first ever meeting between Wolf Blitzer and Jack “The Angina Monologues” Cafferty. MORE »

Wolf Blitzer stopped reminding people they were watching “The Situation Room” long enough to be a journalist for a little bit today: Having booked Judith Miller’s lawyer, Bob Bennett, to talk about Miller, he went on to ask Bob about his brother, Bill, and all those aborted black babies we’ve been hearing so much about:

BLITZER: Have you discussed this issue with him?

It’s a yes or no question, not even something a J-school professor would give a passing grade to, but Bennett reacted to it as though he were Angelina Jolie dealing with an out-of-line Access Hollywood reporter:

BENNETT: I’m rather disappointed in you for not telling me you would ask me about that. This was about Judy Miller “Mr. and Mrs. Smith” and I think that’s a courtesy you could have extended to me.

Surprisingly, Blitzer responds like one:

BLITZER: Well, the reason I ask is because I know you and your brother co-star love each other and you’re good brothers co-stars and it was only obvious to me, I assumed that you know I would ask a newsworthy question. . . Well, you’re a good lawyer actress and a good brother co-star and a good friend. Thanks very much for joining us.

Next on “The Situation Room”: The President’s post-Katrina spending plan has movie-goers wet with anticipation! MORE »

Never having been a fan of Jack Cafferty’s grumpy granddad schtick at “American Morning,” we are the last people we thought would say this: What he needed was more time on camera. Given the debut of CNN’s “The Situation Room” network, Jack has given his crotchetiness full flower, allowing him to turn it onto the show itself. Just now:

WOLF BLITZER: That’s fascinating, watching a friend or relative flying some place, you go there at flight explorer.com and you can see it almost realtime. Thank you. Useful information in “The Situation Room.” Let’s get more useful information, Jack cafferty. I almost said useless information, Jack, but i corrected myself. MORE »

Well, Los Angeles has gone “dark” (it is still daylight there). We have no idea if this is a big deal, but “The Situation Room” has devoted all six flatscreens to it so we’re pretty much freaking the fuck out. ALL SIX SCREENS, PEOPLE! MORE »