April Fools Jokes We Wish Had Come True
Thursday, April 2nd, 2009
You know what sucks? April Fools crap on news websites. You know what wouldn’t suck at all? If Doktor Ron Paul became the one true chairman of the Republican National Committee. Oh, the laughs! Oh, the costumes! Oh, the love (spelled backwards, on a blimp). Sadly, this didn’t happen, and it will never happen — but not because Ron Paul is a nut, and not specifically because his remaining followers are all actual hobbits. It’s because Republicans hate Ron Paul’s guts. They would sooner appoint Cynthia McKinney as RNC chairman. [Conservative HQ]
While Barack Obama is doing Man’s Work at the fancy 10 Downing St. dinner tonight, with Angela Merkel, stay-at-home mom Michelle Obama will be segregated with the other G20 spouses and forced to sup with the beloved author of devil-fiction directed at children. Michelle will sit next to J.K. Rowling, famous gazillionaire and creator of the Harry Potter witchcraft craze. The Obamas are big fans of the 38 Harry Potter bibles, from which they taught their daughters how to cast magical spells to kill villains. [