Tag Archives: the poors

  claptrap

Take Ben Stein’s Money

Why is Ben Stein still talking? Who is unironically listening to Ben Stein? Who hears anything but “Bueller? Bueller?” come out of the man’s facehole every time he talks? These are the questions we ask ourselves late at night. So, what is Big Ben on about today? The poors, of course! The poors who are lazy and drunken and slovenly and ungodly and there was probably something in there about bootstraps but we stopped listening. Read more on Take Ben Stein’s Money…
  a chicken in every pot to piss in

Washington D.C. Poors Who Somehow Managed To Purchase Homes Still Getting Royally Boned

Imagine you’ve been asked to come up with a process to collect unpaid property taxes, and because you’re a terrible person you’ve decided that your process will be as painful as possible for the property owners while remaining at least tenuously legal. Do you think you could do better than Washington, D.C., where private investors who buy liens are permitted to inflate the amount property owners owe by tacking on thousands of dollars in legal fees and interest, then moving to foreclose and take sole possession of the property as soon as the statutory six month payment window is closed? We bet you could not! One retired widower Marine’s $134 property tax delinquency became $4,999 after it was purchased by a private investor and larded up with fees. He lost his home. The whole thing. That was worth $197,000. If you need us, we’ll be at the barricades. Read more on Washington D.C. Poors Who Somehow Managed To Purchase Homes Still Getting Royally Boned…
  fear of a black shopper

Fox News Very Sad People Aren’t Yelling At People On Food Stamps (More)

Here are Fox News’ Martha MacCallum and Charles Payne talking about the horror of people getting food stamps. They note that despite the “so-called recovery,” there are still a lot of people unemployed, and a lot of people getting food stamps! (They do not mention that the top 1% continue to make out like bandits, but that is OK because those people EARN IT.) Mr. Payne has some serious thoughts about what would make Food Stamps less attractive to people: Add some stigma! And maybe end all that valet parking for people with EBT cards, too. Let them park their Welfare Cadillacs themselves! Read more on Fox News Very Sad People Aren’t Yelling At People On Food Stamps (More)…
  the hard sell

Romney Actually Concerned About The Very Poor, Namely Drug Testing Them

As the undisputed loser of three crucial Republican head-on collisions this week, Mitt Romney can’t be blamed for turning his campaign into something of a fire sale. This is America, kiddos. ABC, Always Be CLOSING. Mitt is a businessman, allegedly, so he knows that if no one (literally!) is buying what you’re selling, well, it’s time to give any loony offer that comes your way a serious hearing. In practice, this means Mitt will pretend to listen to what you’re saying and — before your voice can even start lilting upward to form the question — he will already be vomiting forth his grinning assent. Anything, ANYTHING, to move the still-smoldering inventory of his presidential aspirations. Drug testing welfare recipi– “YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS YES WHEN DO I START!!!!” Read more on Romney Actually Concerned About The Very Poor, Namely Drug Testing Them…
  must the poor really always be with us?

Orrin Hatch Tells Obama He Can’t Be Like Jesus, Because Of Taxes (VIDEO)

Attention, President Obama! Mousy Mormon Senator Orrin Hatch would like to have a word with you in the undersea Holocaust-victim baptizing chamber. Hatch will be doing that thing he always does, that raisin-mouthed, monotonous, mild-mannered smug thing he uses to cloak all manner of backwards beliefs and statements. The decrepit senator from Utah is currently offended because Barack Obama had the absolute gall to directly quote a famous Biblical character like Jesus Christ at the National Prayer Breakfast and thereby make this annual networking event/affront to the Constitution tawdry and, what’s worse, political! Read more on Orrin Hatch Tells Obama He Can’t Be Like Jesus, Because Of Taxes (VIDEO)…
  great legislative achievements

House GOP Earning Salary Today Worrying About Strip Clubs

Oh how thoughtful, House Republicans are bringing to the floor today a bill to close some kind of sexy-sounding “strip-club loophole” in what, campaign spending disclosure rules or something? No? NO. Oh right, it’s a bill meant to stop all the silly misbehaving poors from spending their welfare money at strip clubs. No wonder they aren’t out getting jobs! Please, bill sponsor Rep. Charles Boustany Jr., tell us more about this terrifying epidemic of taxpayer waste! Read more on House GOP Earning Salary Today Worrying About Strip Clubs…
  our flourishing economy

New U.S. Achievement: More Americans In Poverty Than Ever!

If the sunshine seemed a little bit brighter this morning and the air a little bit sweeter, you were surely imagining it — Obama’s new smog allowances keep the skies permanently brown and sour, despite the collapse of American manufacturing. But America is on the rise in one exciting new respect: One of every six Americans is legally poor, and more Americans are officially in poverty than ever before! The Census Bureau just released its 2010 poverty data, which says 46.2 million Americans are The Poors — that’s an all-time record and a 17-year peak in percentage terms. The Census Bureau bases its poverty threshold on family size and number of kids, so it goes from a $10,956 annual income for a sad adult living alone to $21,756 a year for a now-mythical family of four with two children. So remember, when trying to put yourself “in poverty” because you make 20K a year giving handjobs behind Union Station, that you’re well above the poverty rate if you’re supporting only yourself with that free-lance consultancy income. But if you’ve got an unemployed “common law husband” and a couple of malnourished orc children hunting rats underneath the half-collapsed trailer you call home, then you are part of the hottest new demographic in this great nation. Read more on New U.S. Achievement: More Americans In Poverty Than Ever!…
  our flourishing economy

Millions of Jobless Americans Filing For Disability To Get Food, Medicine

Social Security is in “trouble” because wealthy people aren’t required by the government to actually pay their share into the national program, and also because Congress has been “borrowing” billions of dollars that working people have paid into the program so that they might not have to starve or die of common illnesses once they’re chewed up and spit out by the capitalist system. But there’s another part of Social Security that’s running out of money even faster than the old age pensions, because a record number of discarded workers are now claiming disability payments and Supplemental Security Income — 3.3 million unwanted laborers will file for the last-ditch payments this year alone, and nearly 14 million currently receive the monthly stipends and early Medicare coverage. The money isn’t much, and is based on either your actual paycheck contributions or limited to an average $500 a month for SSI, but it’s “better” than the American alternative, which is pretending to rob a bank so you can get food and medical care in prison. Read more on Millions of Jobless Americans Filing For Disability To Get Food, Medicine…
  happy birthday

On the Ground At Barack Obama’s Birthday/Ramadan Festival

President Obama is celebrating his birthday tonight, with Jennifer Hudson and those treadmill-dancing fellows. He is doing this in Chicago, so your Wonkette decided to give up a perfectly good Wednesday evening to try to go hear Rahm Emanuel yell some swears. This did not happen, and overall it was a very boring street gathering of Poors unable to pay their way inside. But we took pictures anyway, so there you go. Read more on On the Ground At Barack Obama’s Birthday/Ramadan Festival…
  the american dream

New American Retirement Scenario: Work Until You Die

Here is some good news for all the working stiffs: nobody except the top quartile of income earners will be able to retire at 65 anymore, so plan on working until you die. Young people trying to find jobs? You will never, ever find a job because all the jobs will be taken by 80-year-old people, especially those good Wal-Mart jobs. Read more on New American Retirement Scenario: Work Until You Die…
  the solution to your problems is more unwed teenage pregnancies

Pro-Life Group’s New Billboard Tells Black People To Stop Aborting Obama

Life Always is expected to unveil billboards featuring Obama’s face and the words “Every 21 minutes, our next possible leader is aborted” on Tuesday at 11 a.m. The first billboard will be near an empty lot at 5812 S. State Street, according to a press release from Life Always. Read more on Pro-Life Group’s New Billboard Tells Black People To Stop Aborting Obama…
  nation of poors

Welfare State: One In Six Americans Getting Federal Aid

There’s a decent chance you’re getting unemployment or welfare or whatever right now, and if you’re not, just look around! With 17% of Americans surviving with the help of government “anti-poverty programs,” any random collection of six people is going to include at least one lucky enough to get some help from the feds. We don’t know if this include kids’ lunch programs and SCHIP and HeadStart and other such handouts for lazy children. But the message is clear: America is just barely hanging on thanks to the money shoveled upon it by the Semi-Socialist New Deal Government. Read more on Welfare State: One In Six Americans Getting Federal Aid…
  teen pregnancy is the new twitter

Bristol and Levi’s ‘The Real World’ Coming Soon To MTV

Let’s see, what do we talk about around here all the time now? Teen pregnancy, and MTV’s The Real World in Washington. Here’s a new show coming up on that very same network, but it’s about the real Real World, for Americans, which is “you get knocked up in high school” and … well, that’s about it. Unless you’re Sarah Palin’s babydaughter, generally you are never heard from again, because you will be a cashier at Food 4 Less or whatever, part time. Anyway, ignore the Target commercial at the beginning here and enjoy this tragic promo for MTV’s 16 and Pregnant, directed by our old pal Morgan J. Freeman. Read more on Bristol and Levi’s ‘The Real World’ Coming Soon To MTV…