Tag Archives: the politico

  cartoon violence

Cartoon Violence Makes War On Politico’s Matt Wuerker

It is easy to forget sometimes that D.C. area event planner Politico actually won a Pulitzer Prize in 2012. Not for their morning-winning, afternoon-winning news coverage, mind you, (lol, u guys.) but for their editorial cartoons, drawn by this guy Matt Wuerker. Like many a baby boomer — man — Wuerker used to be cool, before he sold out. He began his career cartooning for Portland’s alternative newspaper Willamette Week in the early 1980s, producing comics and illustrations in a self-taught and abrasive style that now feels uniquely of its time — specifically that “black and white revolution” in alternative comics, the one with all the zines and the post-punk and hardcore show posters. With an aesthetic as distinctive as Robbie Conal’s political grotestques or Raymond Pettibon’s album art for Black Flag, Wuerker pretty soon took his cartoons national. He published with the likes of FAIR’s Extra!, the Nation, and Z magazine. He did animation for music videos. He illustrated a book of essays about U.S. media propaganda for Edward S. Herman. Yes, THAT Edward S. Herman. The guy who wrote Manufacturing Consent with Noam “Chain Chomp” Chomsky. (For God’s sake, just look at the cover Wuerker drew for Herman’s book. His Bush Sr. is like a fucking GARGOYLE!!! It’s tremendous!) Matt Wuerker was, in short, the kinda man you’d catch stealing Economists from Walddenbooks while paying for his Utne Readers. Back off, man; Matt Wuerker would have those signatures in for PIRG by the end of his shift. That painting in the coffee shop? That’s Matt Wuerker’s! What do YOU care?! So. How did this man come to co-found Politico? It seems crazy right? Like learning that Henry Rollins now does voice work for direct-to-dvd superhero cartoons. Wouldn’t that be nuts!? Especially if one of them was Green Lantern: Emerald Knights. Welcome to part two of your Wonkette’s campaign against Pulitzer Cartoon Violence. Read more on Cartoon Violence Makes War On Politico’s Matt Wuerker…
  the soylent green lobby is gearing up

Christine O’Donnell Is Against EVERYTHING Fun

We all know that Christine O’Donnell finds it offensive, against the LORD, when someone has not yet found (or been assigned by their father or local bishop) that oppositely-sexed person with whom he or she will be spending eternity making babies, and yet they decide to sate the baby-making urge while touching their “sin place,” possibly while listening to R&B music and looking at scantily-clad actresses on basic cable. But what other enjoyable activities will Christine ban, once she is senator? The Politico, which under the O’Donnell Regime will by law be distributed to every house in the land to inform the people of the new lists of mandated and forbidden actions, offers this hint on its front page today. Read more on Christine O’Donnell Is Against EVERYTHING Fun…
  enormous gossip scoops

Obama Refuses To Be John Boehner’s Boyfriend, And Vice Versa

Barack Obama and John Boehner can’t seem to make their relationship “work,” physically or otherwise, probably because John Boehner is a Sagittarius and Barack Obama is a Communist — two zodiac signs that are just not compatible, according to “the Politico,” a publishing house for mediation-related guidebooks such as Loving Others, Loving Yourself and You Win, I Win, We Win. To make matters even more troubling and newsworthy, Politico has read the teabagger leaves and predicts John Boehner will be Speaker of the House, which means Barack Obama and John Boehner might actually have to interact with each other occasionally! Will Obama and Boehner get their act together, or are they just gonna sit back and let Mitch McConnell and Lindsey Graham be prom king and queen for the 100th year in a row? This is some serious fucking drama. Read more on Obama Refuses To Be John Boehner’s Boyfriend, And Vice Versa…
  win the convo

Hilarious One-Paragraph History of Politico’s News-Invention Morning-Win Technique

We’re now about eight nine pages into this very long NYT magazine thing about The Politico, and it’s mostly the stuff you know about — the funny cartoon video somebody made, all the reporters who quit, etc. But there’s one crucial bit of Win the Morning hilarity we must share with you, as it succinctly describes the entire news process at The Politico, which consists of “make up something, let it bounce around Washington a few hours, and then breathlessly report the official denial.” Read more on Hilarious One-Paragraph History of Politico’s News-Invention Morning-Win Technique…
  surprise!

Person Responsible For The POLITICO Will Decide The Best Writing And Reporting, Now

Oh ho ho ho, big victory for banal reactionary Mad Lib The POLITICO, as executive editor Jim VandeHei was just elected to serve on the Pulitzer Board. He is the first person from the Internet to ever do such a thing! Reports… the POLITICO, cynically: “‘In many ways, the Pulitzer Board is on the same mission as POLITICO: to embrace new media while fighting to protect the highest standards for writing, reporting and accuracy. I am honored to be a part of this effort,’ VandeHei said.” Ten Pulitzers in the category of fiction for Jim VandeHei. [The POLITICO] Read more on Person Responsible For The POLITICO Will Decide The Best Writing And Reporting, Now…
  the politico sucks so much ass

Sound-Bite Generator Notes Several Liberal Professors Make Decent Livings

Liberals, don’t you just hate them! The worst kind of liberal is one who earns a big salary. Hypocrites! It is completely impossible to both make a decent living and have Liberal Views about the government’s role in society. Sure, go do cocaine in your limousine, then try saying you support health care for disadvantaged kids. MOONBATS! Anyway, once again The Politico has SEIZED THE MORNING and BUGGERED THE NEWS CYCLE and brutally punished the POWER EQUATION with the shocking revelation that college-professor Barack Obama was supported by other college professors, including some well-known scholars and scientists who, hypocritically, make low-six-figure salaries working for America’s better universities. [Gawker] Read more on Sound-Bite Generator Notes Several Liberal Professors Make Decent Livings…
 

A Blogger’s Confession: My Bad

Politico ed John Harris cops to being the guy responsible for “slow bleed,” the term that’s killed John Murtha’s Iraq-ending plan dead. He’s so guilty about it he wrote a couple hundred words noting how quickly it spread and how now everyone’s using it look at all the Nexis hits and oh woe is he he surely wouldn’t do that again! Read more on A Blogger’s Confession: My Bad…
 

Dan Gerstein Hates You, Blogger

We haven’t written a word on the John Edwards hired-bloggers scandal because it’s stupid and boring, but that didn’t stop Dan Gerstein. In today’s Politico, he lays out his case: Liberal bloggers are stupid anti-Christian meanies who need to be DESTROYED. And they’re bad for the Democratic party and Kos is a vampire, blah blah blah. Read more on Dan Gerstein Hates You, Blogger…
 

‘Politico’ Provides Wall-to-Wall ‘Politico’ Coverage

This screengrab comes from the current front page of The Politico’s website. The Politico, as you know, is revolutionizing journalism and media. They are doing this by presenting two photo galleries made up mostly of Politico staffers. On the far left, three Politico staffers yuk it up at The Politico’s Politico Party. On the far right, Politico editor Jim VandeHei inexplicably ends up in a photo of James Clyburn, and another Politico writer. The middle picture is either Will Smith or Mike Allen, we can’t be sure. Read more on ‘Politico’ Provides Wall-to-Wall ‘Politico’ Coverage…
 

Mike Allen Will Not Be Denied

What happens when you don’t feel like answering questions from Mike Allen, Bestest Political Reporter in the World? He’ll write 1,200 words on how much of a dick you are. As Obama left the hotel reception, smiling and saying, “Thank you AGAIN,” I introduced myself and said, “Good evening, Senator, may I walk with you?” He replied, “You can walk with me. That doesn’t mean you can ask questions.” I chuckled, thinking he was kidding. “But you can certainly walk with me,” he added. The Senator then underscored, “I’m sorry. I’m not answering questions.” Read more on Mike Allen Will Not Be Denied…
 

Congresswomen: Whores. Journos: Thieves

Last night, we learned that Rep. Loretta Sanchez quit the Congressional House Caucus because its chair called her a whore. This evening, an operative forwarded us this email from The Politico’s talented Josie Hearn to a number of her collegues. Subject: Loretta Sanchez storyFrom: “Josephine Hearn” Date: Thu, 1 Feb 2007 16:24:40 -0500To: [Redacted] Hi all, If you are working on a story about Loretta Sanchez and the CHC, please credit Politico.com for breaking the story. Below I am including stories I have written over the past year on the CHC rift. They may be of use to you. Thanks,Josephine Hearn Unfortunately, one of the recipients had already kinda broken the story too. Full, cranky email exchange, after the jump. Read more on Congresswomen: Whores. Journos: Thieves…
 

Everyone in Senate Near Death

We have the oldest Senate ever, reports the Politico. The chamber of old white men is older than ever before, because modern medical science won’t allow rich people to die until they’re good and ready these days. Read more on Everyone in Senate Near Death…
 

Happy Politico Day!

The city’s newest waste of sidewalk space, Capitol Hill rag The Politico, launched today with some heavy self-congratulation from all the Post and Time dudes they lured over there with promises of riches. What’s the verdict? It’s, uh… a website! And some blogs! It’s kind of like the Post’s politics section, except NEWER and with laxer editing in the in-house blogs: Read more on Happy Politico Day!…
 

$28 Million Georgetown Murder Scene Bought by Aspiring Media Mogul, Natch

Remember the 31st and Q mansion we mentioned last week? The most expensive home ever bought in Washington? The one where an aspiring British politician had his throat slit in the driveway last July? Reliable Source revealed the buyers yesterday: Robert and Elena Allbritton! Come learn who they are with us, after the jump. Read more on $28 Million Georgetown Murder Scene Bought by Aspiring Media Mogul, Natch…
 

Gossip Roundup: Drinking the Kool-Aid

* Heard on the Hill: Rep. Linda Sánchez judged a “best package” contest at Cobalt last week… Sex-starved middle-aged Washington women swooned over Richard Gere at the Old Ebbitt Grill… HoH columnist Mary Ann Akers is moving to Washingtonpost.com. [Roll Call] * Reliable Source: Reliable Source readers vote Cynthia McKinney’s Cap Police beatdown the best Washington Gossip of ’06. [WP] * Yeas and Nays: Congressional offices all pretending they’re not betting like fiends on today’s Florida/OSU game, though Deborah Pryce and Adam Putnam have some sort of “betting for little kids” candy-vs.-pie thing going on… 300 old people protested AEI… Nancy Pelosi washes own hair at Salon! [Examiner] * Washington Whispers: Former Post-ites turned Politico anchors John Harris and Jim VandHei smoke lots and lots of weed while discussing future of journalism… Arnold Schwarzenegger is eying Barbara Boxer’s seat, if you know what we mean. [USN&WR] Read more on Gossip Roundup: Drinking the Kool-Aid…
 

Metro Section: Vote Domenech in ’06

* DC sounds like a nice place, except for all the tools. [Metroblogging DC] * What the hell kind of Capitol Hill newspaper needs a video trailer? We hate the Internet. [DCeiver] * Vote for DC media person of the year! We’re pretty sure it’s Plan B. [FishbowlDC] * Federal employees get a four day weekend just ’cause some President died. Lazy fuckers. [Reuters via DCist] Read more on Metro Section: Vote Domenech in ’06…
 

Capitol Leader: Now With Mike Allen, Crappy New Name

Having lured away the Post’s John Harris and Jim VandeHei (as well as Capital File’s Anne Schroeder and everyone who has ever written for The Hill), Allbritton’s new media Hill newspaper-plus-website (brilliant! Web 2.0!) has now kind of stolen Mike Allen from Time. Read more on Capitol Leader: Now With Mike Allen, Crappy New Name…