the internets

There is that saying, about imitation and flattery and whatever, but all we know is that here is another insane campaign commercial starring a bunch of demon creatures, not unlike the beloved Demon Sheep of Carly Fiorina, circa 2010. This strange video does not really come close to being that terrifying, but it is still […]

Your Wonkette is not tremendously interested in violent shoot-em-up video games as a rule, because we are always “reading the Internet” — whatever that means — something we can accurately say spews a lot more horror and abortion at unsuspecting brain cells than the bloodiest video games on the market. So we are a little […]

If you are still somehow alive after tonight’s episode of “Which Escaped Mental Patient Will Lead America to Hell?” then, well, congratulations, and also you should know that while you were being hypnotized by Michele Bachmann’s laser eyes and reading about it on the Internet, you were also helping to murder the U.S. Postal Service. […]

It is the middle of a Wednesday, so our President wants to hang out on Twitter and connect with the Youths, who used to look to him, wide-eyed and full of that thing called “Hope.” Now that Hope has been murdered and buried at sea with bin Laden, it is important that Barack Obama remind […]

Fifty years ago yesterday, Americans gathered around the boob tube to watch John Kennedy debate Richard Nixon. Richard Nixon was sweaty and forgot to powder his nose, so he lost for being so ugly — if he was handsome he probably would have won, which he eventually did, in 1968, “when it mattered.” Point is: […]

Your Wonkette reporter of The Homosexuals is back bearing good news, or as they like to call it in church, “a new gospel”: All of the world’s lesbians have been fully repented for! This happened last week, in Sacramento, at a big Jesus party thrown by My Boyfriend Lou Engle. Though he has failed utterly in […]

See, this is why we haven’t kicked Texas out of the union (yet): because sometimes Texans do funny things for us to laugh at. For example: unofficial Republican gubernatorial candidate Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison has a web site that contained tasty little hidden phrases like “rick perry gay” that Governor Rick Perry’s people did not […]

Oh hey did you hear crazy dwarf-alien Kim Jong-Il has been shooting rockets into the sea, by North Korea? No? ARE YOU SILLY AMERICANS SO OBSESSED WITH THE DEATH OF KING-POP MICHAEL JACKSON AS TO NOT FOLLOW NORTH KOREA’S MIGHTY THREATS? Well, Lil’ Kim wants you to know he is twice as weird as Wacko […]

IDAHO BATHROOM GOBLIN  10:00 pm July 9, 2008

by Ken Layne

LARRY CRAIG FINALLY HAS INTERNET FRIENDS! One of you noticed Gay Larry Craig had no virtual pals on this FreedomSpeaks site, so a bunch of you people went over there and kindly befriended the Idaho Bathroom Goblin. Who says chivalry is dead? [FreedomSpeaks]