Tag: the internet

Michele Bachmann Performs Online Tonight — Don’t Miss Out!

OMG you guys, this is more awesome than a Night Ranger/Styx double-bill: According to the teabagging fetishist website Ensuring Liberty, "rock star" Congressvixen Michele Bachmann will be performing LIVE and IN CONCERT at a virtual town hall meeting tonight...

Why Can’t the Government Just Send All the Unhealthy People To Bagram and Leave the Rest of Us the Hell Alone?

South Korea was a simple place, a happy place. Then South Korea was introduced to the Internet, and also Starcraft. And now South Korean people want to kill themselves. John McCain does not want to be called a trail-blazin'...

DRUNK STUDENT ON INTERNET SEEKS GIRLS: How does a brooding 20-year-old drunken college student on the Internet finally leave the dorm and get laid? Your editor's answer may disgust you!

Internet More Hateful Than Ever, So Write Mean Things In The Comments!

Why won't Barack Obama let The Troops who liberated Haiti from Hugo Chavez's earthquake machine fly the Stars and Stripes? NASA discovered a delightful popcorn shrimp frolicking 600 feet below Antarctica. Here is some horrifying footage of Barbara Boxer's...

Tucker Carlson’s Famous New ‘Carlsonington Post’ Finally Hits Newsstands!

Tucker Carlson's fabled journalism Internet is finally getting published on Monday! "The Daily Caller" is going to be like Huffington Post - Alec Baldwin + Tucker Carlson x Tucker Carlson. How much news will it contain? Millions of news!...

Unfortunate Juxtaposition, Or Cleverest Advertorial Ever?

Ten lawsuits—or the equivalent thereof in free BoA customer education PowerPoints—for operative "Lauren P."

Cartoon Violence Is Drenched In Blood

By the Comics CurmudgeonIn honor of this week's announcement, in Old Norse, that Peace can best be achieved by Warring, Forever, we here at Cartoon Violence are going to give up and embrace carnage! As movie producers...

Richard Cohen: Whatever Happened To Books, Dagnabbit

Our favorite Washington Post old crab Richard Cohen has put together another gem today, following his recent coot-ish rambles about tattoos, his eyesight and, of course, uppity Negroes. Today's topic: books! He is in Boulder in a bookstore, with...

Was John McCain’s Ad Racist Because It Didn’t Include Tiger Woods?

There's been a hilarious debate on the Internet the last couple of days, as per usual, about whether the McCain "Celeb" ad was Racist because it chose two young white gals, Paris Hilton and Britney Spears, as Barack Obama's...

World’s Dumbest Website Headed Towards Higher Vistas

Ed Hale's majestic website, Ex-Hillary Clinton Supporters For John McCain, has already conquered the Internet several times over, and is now looking towards new, uncharted waters: "print newspapers." The next step in Evolution, avast! Here's Ed's rallying cry in...

A Children’s Treasury Of Hilarious Comments About The AP On Hillary’s Blog

This morning, the Associated Press wrote that Hillary would concede the delegate race to Barack Obama tonight, which is very nearly the same thing as "conceding the race." The Clinton campaign then called this story 100% false and said...

Thanks For the Memories, Tom