Tag Archives: the internet

  rumors on the internets

Why Can’t the Government Just Send All the Unhealthy People To Bagram and Leave the Rest of Us the Hell Alone?

South Korea was a simple place, a happy place. Then South Korea was introduced to the Internet, and also Starcraft. And now South Korean people want to kill themselves. [Matt Yglesias] Read more on Why Can’t the Government Just Send All the Unhealthy People To Bagram and Leave the Rest of Us the Hell Alone?…
  modern problems

DRUNK STUDENT ON INTERNET SEEKS GIRLS: How does a brooding 20-year-old drunken college student on the Internet finally leave the dorm and get laid? Your editor’s answer may disgust you! [True/Slant] Read more on …
  make room in google reader!

Tucker Carlson’s Famous New ‘Carlsonington Post’ Finally Hits Newsstands!

Tucker Carlson’s fabled journalism Internet is finally getting published on Monday! “The Daily Caller” is going to be like Huffington Post – Alec Baldwin + Tucker Carlson x Tucker Carlson. How much news will it contain? Millions of news! Carlson can afford to buy all the journalism, thanks to the ace PowerPoints of his business partner, some former Cheney aide, who explains, “We were very lucky to get the amount of money we did [$3 million] based, basically, on a PowerPoint.” Read more on Tucker Carlson’s Famous New ‘Carlsonington Post’ Finally Hits Newsstands!…
  cartoon violence

Cartoon Violence Is Drenched In Blood

By the Comics CurmudgeonIn honor of this week’s announcement, in Old Norse, that Peace can best be achieved by Warring, Forever, we here at Cartoon Violence are going to give up and embrace carnage! As movie producers long ago discovered, blowing shit up and then dismembering it has a certain visual and visceral impact than a bunch of dudes standing around earnestly talking about policy never will. Thus, there will be blood, yes, as well as explosions and bombs and nightmarish baby-monsters and fetuses and, of course, floppy man-boobs. Always the floppy man-boobs! Anyway, join us in hell, after the jump. Read more on Cartoon Violence Is Drenched In Blood…
  our greatest washington pundit

Richard Cohen: Whatever Happened To Books, Dagnabbit

Our favorite Washington Post old crab Richard Cohen has put together another gem today, following his recent coot-ish rambles about tattoos, his eyesight and, of course, uppity Negroes. Today’s topic: books! He is in Boulder in a bookstore, with the books that the children don’t give a hoot about anymore! They are buying them on this “Amazon” internet page, or not at all, because they are terrible, bwah bwah bwah. Read more on Richard Cohen: Whatever Happened To Books, Dagnabbit…
  those celebrities are not racial transcendence!

Was John McCain’s Ad Racist Because It Didn’t Include Tiger Woods?

There’s been a hilarious debate on the Internet the last couple of days, as per usual, about whether the McCain “Celeb” ad was Racist because it chose two young white gals, Paris Hilton and Britney Spears, as Barack Obama’s alter egos instead of the actual two most famous celebrities in the world. It is, apparently, a similar situation to the attack ad on Harold Ford in 2006, where he is constantly talking to loose white women on the telephone. If John McCain were to *objectively* pick the two most famous people in the world, the liberals argue, at least one of them would have been TIGER WOODS, the GOLFER. The conservatives do not believe Tiger Woods counts, however, because he has accomplishments! Prepare to rock and/or roll. Read more on Was John McCain’s Ad Racist Because It Didn’t Include Tiger Woods?…
  hilltards

World’s Dumbest Website Headed Towards Higher Vistas

Ed Hale’s majestic website, Ex-Hillary Clinton Supporters For John McCain, has already conquered the Internet several times over, and is now looking towards new, uncharted waters: “print newspapers.” The next step in Evolution, avast! Here’s Ed’s rallying cry in the “plans” section of his site: “Ok, it is time to get serious and let the DNP know that we are not coming home in the fall. One of our member said it was time to take action and I agree.” PREPARE FOR THE NUCLEAR OPTION: a single half-page ad in one local tabloid newspaper. Appearing once! Ed’ll show these “shifty-eyeds” indeed! Read more on World’s Dumbest Website Headed Towards Higher Vistas…
 

A Children’s Treasury Of Hilarious Comments About The AP On Hillary’s Blog

This morning, the Associated Press wrote that Hillary would concede the delegate race to Barack Obama tonight, which is very nearly the same thing as “conceding the race.” The Clinton campaign then called this story 100% false and said Hillary won’t be concedin’ nothin’ tonight. And since Hillary’s rabid loyalists are already peeved with the media’s coverage of the campaign, the AP’s little “gambit” here has set off quite a storm on Hillary Clinton’s official “blog,” in the comments. An arbitrary selection of the best comments, after the jump. Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of Hilarious Comments About The AP On Hillary’s Blog…
 

Insane Internet About To Commit Suicide Over Hillary Clinton’s Existence

Christ, the Pennsylvania primary isn’t until April 22 and at its current rate, the Internet will have long since committed suicide, over and over and over again. Over the last week, many bloggers have gotten so bored with the lack of actual news that they have become werewolves. Specifically, the level of violent rage directed at Hillary Clinton has reached that of Osama bin Laden in late 2001. Do not be surprised to see some of the bloggers below resort to self-immolation the next time Hillary Clinton says something on a radio show. Read more on Insane Internet About To Commit Suicide Over Hillary Clinton’s Existence…
 

Ted Stevens, Internet Expert, Goes National

Senator Ted “Series of Tubes” Stevens got the Daily Show treatment last night — the stock illustrations may be the highlight of the clip, as despite Jon Stewart’s best efforts, it is hard to improve on the nonsensical ramblings of a crazy, grizzled old prospector. Read more on Ted Stevens, Internet Expert, Goes National…
 

Gossip Roundup: Your Mother Doesn’t Work Here

Page Six: Laura Bush seems to have enjoyed The Devil Wears Prada. [NYP] Ben Widdicombe: Wall Street Journal columnist John Fund,, being sued for allegedly beating an ex-girlfriend, began his civil case yesterday. [NYDN] Read more on Gossip Roundup: Your Mother Doesn’t Work Here…
 

Decoding the Note: The Internet Industry is Not a Truck

From yesterday’s Note: “Thus: We finally figured out why superscribe Ron Fournier left the Associated Press. We can’t say as much as we know, but we can say this: Fournier… has teamed up with political strategists from both sides of the fence and leaders from the Internet industry to create the next big thing in communications and community. Read more on Decoding the Note: The Internet Industry is Not a Truck…
 

Thanks For the Memories, Tom

Oh, we do so love the internet. In addition to (barely) paying our bills, it provides us with upwards of 20 minutes of amusement a day. Today’s bit of fun comes in the form of a seemingly brand-new email harvesting scam that’ll send your best wishes directly to The Hammer. The only thing that makes it seem not quite on-the-level to us is the lack of a call for donations to Mr. DeLay’s legal defense fund (a must-have for this year’s hot political websites). Still, though — we signed it, and we suggest you do the same. So… we’re just about bored enough to ask — the site is registered by proxy, meaning it’s the Fire David Gregory kid again, right? Read more on Thanks For the Memories, Tom…
 

Today In Painfully Obvious Note-Fodder

Do you want to write a must-read? Sure, we all do! Guess what? It’s not as hard as you think! Here are some tips from your buddies at Wonkette: * Write for either the Times or the Post. * Be friends with or write about friends of The Note. Read more on Today In Painfully Obvious Note-Fodder…