the internet

OMG you guys, this is more awesome than a Night Ranger/Styx double-bill: According to the teabagging fetishist website Ensuring Liberty, “rock star” Congressvixen Michele Bachmann will be performing LIVE and IN CONCERT at a virtual town hall meeting tonight at 8 PM EST, with fellow Congressional “rock star” Steve King as her opening act. Real […]

South Korea was a simple place, a happy place. Then South Korea was introduced to the Internet, and also Starcraft. And now South Korean people want to kill themselves. [Matt Yglesias] John McCain does not want to be called a trail-blazin’ maverick: “The Spirit of America” will suit him just fine, thank you. [Think Progress] […]

MODERN PROBLEMS  12:22 pm March 24, 2010

by Ken Layne

DRUNK STUDENT ON INTERNET SEEKS GIRLS: How does a brooding 20-year-old drunken college student on the Internet finally leave the dorm and get laid? Your editor’s answer may disgust you! [True/Slant]

Why won’t Barack Obama let The Troops who liberated Haiti from Hugo Chavez’s earthquake machine fly the Stars and Stripes? [The Corner] NASA discovered a delightful popcorn shrimp frolicking 600 feet below Antarctica. [The Daily Dish] Here is some horrifying footage of Barbara Boxer’s cap and trade-powered Zeppelin carpet bombing the quiet streets of Malibu […]

Tucker Carlson’s fabled journalism Internet is finally getting published on Monday! “The Daily Caller” is going to be like Huffington Post – Alec Baldwin + Tucker Carlson x Tucker Carlson. How much news will it contain? Millions of news! Carlson can afford to buy all the journalism, thanks to the ace PowerPoints of his business […]

Ten lawsuits—or the equivalent thereof in free BoA customer education PowerPoints—for operative “Lauren P.” [HuffPost but it's already ruined]

By the Comics CurmudgeonIn honor of this week’s announcement, in Old Norse, that Peace can best be achieved by Warring, Forever, we here at Cartoon Violence are going to give up and embrace carnage! As movie producers long ago discovered, blowing shit up and then dismembering it has a certain visual and visceral impact than […]

Our favorite Washington Post old crab Richard Cohen has put together another gem today, following his recent coot-ish rambles about tattoos, his eyesight and, of course, uppity Negroes. Today’s topic: books! He is in Boulder in a bookstore, with the books that the children don’t give a hoot about anymore! They are buying them on […]

There’s been a hilarious debate on the Internet the last couple of days, as per usual, about whether the McCain “Celeb” ad was Racist because it chose two young white gals, Paris Hilton and Britney Spears, as Barack Obama’s alter egos instead of the actual two most famous celebrities in the world. It is, apparently, […]

Ed Hale’s majestic website, Ex-Hillary Clinton Supporters For John McCain, has already conquered the Internet several times over, and is now looking towards new, uncharted waters: “print newspapers.” The next step in Evolution, avast! Here’s Ed’s rallying cry in the “plans” section of his site: “Ok, it is time to get serious and let the […]

This morning, the Associated Press wrote that Hillary would concede the delegate race to Barack Obama tonight, which is very nearly the same thing as “conceding the race.” The Clinton campaign then called this story 100% false and said Hillary won’t be concedin’ nothin’ tonight. And since Hillary’s rabid loyalists are already peeved with the […]