the internet
Bob Woodward Continues To Be Totally Awesome Guy
Bob Woodward, who did something once we guess, continues to be a super awesome guy and not at all a prissy little asshole bitch.
Announcing Wonket’s Teen Korner! For Teenz!
Kid Zoom is the son of Yr Doktor Zoom. He is 15 and a sophomore in high school. He got this gig by making a boob joke. As of right now, I am going to do what every English teacher has ever told me not to: tell you what my writing will be about! It [...]
Shell Oil Apparently Has Not Yet Learned What ‘The Internet’ Is For
Hello, Shell Oil! Have you fired your social media guru yet, or the ad agency that came up with the idea of crowdsourcing Shell’s Let’s Go! Arctic campaign? Did it at least occur to you to borrow an RNC intern to scoop out all the “cunts” and “fucks” and whatnot before posting them on your [...]
Cops On Internet Forum Love Watching NYPD Assault Protesters
So there’s this Internet forum for police officers called “Officer.com,” and you supposedly have to be a police officer to register for the site. (How do the administrators prove this? Probably by making sure the registration application has enough spelling errors and grammar disasters and obvious disregard for following the law.) And these alleged police [...]
Obama, Release the Photos of Bin Laden’s Corpse. Sincerely, the Internet
Last night on Glenn Beck’s sickly teevee show, the profitable conspiracy theorist host made a simple plea: for the government to release its photos of Osama bin Laden’s corpse. Glenn would like to see it. And his argument was that the photos can’t be all that gruesome, because most Americans have seen The Godfather and [...]
Click Here For Jenna Bush Upskirt!
A Children’s Treasury Of Christine O’Donnell’s Website Content
The pocket pinball-playin’ elitists from the Soros blogosphere claim that Christine O’Donnell’s fancy website has no content, just a little button for donating your life savings to her brave campaign. Wrong! There’s plenty of content, you just need to “screen capture” it before it is deleted.
Facebook Is Ruining the Sanctity Of Your Marriage
Facebook is basically ruining every single marriage, because it’s impossible to just be friends with someone on the internet — inevitably you always end up fingerbanging them (or “poking” them). You have 500 Facebook friends, you say? Well that’s 500 fingerbangs! Repent, adulterous slimeball: We all know how the story goes: Boy meets girl. Boy [...]
Sarah Palin’s Non-Word ‘Refudiate’ Is Merriam-Webster’s New Favorite Word
Oh for Pete’s sake! Merriam-Webster’s Word of the Summer is Sarah Palin’s merciless assault on the Queen’s English, “refudiate,” and only because refudiate has been the most searched-for non-word on its Internet website since the fateful day William Kristol declared it a miracle of profound conservative wordsmithery. Is the volume of Internet searches the only [...]
Fellowship Of the Libtard Will Expose Frodo Tea Baggins’ Racism
A giant racist Tea Bagger shadow has been cast over Middle-Earth (continental United States). And every day this racism grows, because nobody is strong enough to stand up and say, “Stop being racist,” and also Americans are too fat to stand up. And so, races from all corners of the liberal blogosphere have answered the [...]
Michele Bachmann Performs Online Tonight — Don’t Miss Out!
OMG you guys, this is more awesome than a Night Ranger/Styx double-bill: According to the teabagging fetishist website Ensuring Liberty, “rock star” Congressvixen Michele Bachmann will be performing LIVE and IN CONCERT at a virtual town hall meeting tonight at 8 PM EST, with fellow Congressional “rock star” Steve King as her opening act. Real [...]
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