December 7, 2013
Bob Woodward, who did something once we guess, continues to be a super awesome guy and not at all a prissy little asshole bitch.
Kid Zoom is the son of Yr Doktor Zoom. He is 15 and a sophomore in high school. He got this gig by making a boob joke. As of right now, I am going to do what every English teacher has ever told me not to: tell you what my writing will be about! It [...]
The fact that shellymicAB’s Youtube rant is unembeddable is a crime against Wonkette. But for those of you who have been begging us to repeat our billion-post Tuesday schedule so as to keep schadening your Freude (unaware that we conducted Election Day, like the Iraq War, “off-budget”), well, here should be the happiest 25 minutes [...]
Hello, Shell Oil! Have you fired your social media guru yet, or the ad agency that came up with the idea of crowdsourcing Shell’s Let’s Go! Arctic campaign? Did it at least occur to you to borrow an RNC intern to scoop out all the “cunts” and “fucks” and whatnot before posting them on your [...]
Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin decided this week to put his bid for yet another “run” on the Internet, where he has been hanging out lately to try to charm his people following December’s huge and quite unified protests in the country. Pleasantly, his website, whose main photo (this one) looks like Putin’s attempt to [...]
So there’s this Internet forum for police officers called “Officer.com,” and you supposedly have to be a police officer to register for the site. (How do the administrators prove this? Probably by making sure the registration application has enough spelling errors and grammar disasters and obvious disregard for following the law.) And these alleged police [...]
Last night on Glenn Beck’s sickly teevee show, the profitable conspiracy theorist host made a simple plea: for the government to release its photos of Osama bin Laden’s corpse. Glenn would like to see it. And his argument was that the photos can’t be all that gruesome, because most Americans have seen The Godfather and [...]
The pocket pinball-playin’ elitists from the Soros blogosphere claim that Christine O’Donnell’s fancy website has no content, just a little button for donating your life savings to her brave campaign. Wrong! There’s plenty of content, you just need to “screen capture” it before it is deleted.
Facebook is basically ruining every single marriage, because it’s impossible to just be friends with someone on the internet — inevitably you always end up fingerbanging them (or “poking” them). You have 500 Facebook friends, you say? Well that’s 500 fingerbangs! Repent, adulterous slimeball: We all know how the story goes: Boy meets girl. Boy [...]
Oh for Pete’s sake! Merriam-Webster’s Word of the Summer is Sarah Palin’s merciless assault on the Queen’s English, “refudiate,” and only because refudiate has been the most searched-for non-word on its Internet website since the fateful day William Kristol declared it a miracle of profound conservative wordsmithery. Is the volume of Internet searches the only [...]
A giant racist Tea Bagger shadow has been cast over Middle-Earth (continental United States). And every day this racism grows, because nobody is strong enough to stand up and say, “Stop being racist,” and also Americans are too fat to stand up. And so, races from all corners of the liberal blogosphere have answered the [...]
OMG you guys, this is more awesome than a Night Ranger/Styx double-bill: According to the teabagging fetishist website Ensuring Liberty, “rock star” Congressvixen Michele Bachmann will be performing LIVE and IN CONCERT at a virtual town hall meeting tonight at 8 PM EST, with fellow Congressional “rock star” Steve King as her opening act. Real [...]