We saw this about an hour ago and OMFG these people are actual dangerous insane freaks who should be rounded up and buried alive at the landfill. [CNN/YouTube]

Now that the economy has been saved, by the government, we can all get back to the business of America, which is “waiting for handouts from John McCain.” Remember how much John McCain hates earmarks and how when he pretends to be president he’s always vetoing any bills with earmarks? Heh heh, he was just telling lies again. He voted for the bailout, and it is so full of earmarks, it is like, uh, a large container filled with earmarks. Pork earmarks, on pigs. MORE »

So you know how the Fed “bailed out” AIG with $80+ billion and now everything is okay? Right, it’s not okay at all. The $80+ billion allows the failed insurance giant an “orderly liquidation” of its assets. AIG is done. That is just one of the reasons why the markets continue to collapse today — the Dow’s down 240 at the moment, or 2.16%, the NASDAQ’s down 3.2%, and the S&P 500 is down by 3%. Oh, and the last remaining American investment houses took huge hits, again. Morgan Stanley dropped by thirty-freakin’-seven percent, this morning, and Goldman Sachs fell more than 20%. But what’s the bad news? MORE »

After a busy two weeks of Palin family covers and about six months of Obama family covers, the trashy supermarket magazines need something new, yet still kind of political, because maybe that’s what America is sort of half-interested in, for the moment. Let’s see, are there any other charming political families to put on the cover? MORE »

Here’s the trailer for An American Carol, which was first shown to the world on the O’Reilly Factor last night. Movie trailers rarely debut on Bill O’Reilly’s terrible show, but this is a conservative “spoof” movie starring the few Republican actors in Hollywood. The film’s target is the American Left as personified by Michael Moore, the fat clown no one has ever liked, except maybe 4-5 anonymous Internet commenters for a single week in 2003. The plot: Moore is trying to eliminate the Fourth of July holiday! But Gen. Frasier Crane simply cannot let him get away with this. The film is expected to gross $750 trillion dollars at the domestic box office.[YouTube]

A new Harris Interactive poll confirms that America is one big Gloomy Gus convention these days, with people bellyaching about The Economy and The War and Our Incompetent Congress and what’s his face, the guy who’s always off humping bunnies. Look outside the window, America! Do you not see the beautiful sun shining? Oh, you don’t have a window because the bank took it away? Well, look at the sun shining outside your spacious cardboard box! MORE »