Tag Archives: the hip hop

  here we go again

Cee Lo Invite To Obama Fundraiser Proves Obama Hates Women, Gays, Decency

We hope you have been saving up your outrage, dear readers, because hoh boy: Barack Obama has invited singer Cee Lo Green to perform at a fundraiser in Atlanta! But what’s the issue? It can’t be that Matt Drudge is upset about the swears, about Cee Lo Green having a hit song titled, “Fuck You,” because Mitt Romney just recently appeared with talentless idiot Kid Rock, whose repertoire includes a song titled, “Fuck That.” Help us out, News Media and Twitter, why should we be upset that Barack Obama is a fan of a five-time Grammy award-winning musician? Read more on Cee Lo Invite To Obama Fundraiser Proves Obama Hates Women, Gays, Decency…
  flotus files

Michelle Obama Celebrates Fitness Campaign Success With ‘Obesity Tour’

Were you aware that we, as a nation, are currently celebrating the second anniversary of Michelle Obama’s Let’s Move! campaign? Probably not, because McDonald’s did not advertise this on its napkins. Our FLOTUS, the arms and inspiration behind the campaign, knew it was time to celebrate, however, and so she embarked upon a cross-country birthday tour, hitting some of America’s most well-known and cherished obesity strongholds. Apparently this is also why she challenged Ellen DeGeneres to a push-up contest last week on teevee, although we thought it was just to stir up trouble, for fun. This past weekend, Michelle bravely took her health crusade to Texas and Disney World, because she just loves a challenge. Read more on Michelle Obama Celebrates Fitness Campaign Success With ‘Obesity Tour’…
  flotus files

Michelle Obama’s ‘Let’s Move!’ Receives Critical Endorsement From Fat Joe

“Why hello, 2004, we had almost (thankfully) forgotten about you,” was our first reaction to the news that Michelle Obama’s anti-obesity campaign has a new “celebrity” champion in Joseph Antonio “Fat Joe” Cartagena, who at one point made a lot of suburban middle school dance chaperones nervous with his funny lyrics about the act of pulling up one’s pants, as a dance move. Back in those days, Fat Joe was practically a professional obese person, weighing in at over 450 pounds. But today, he is the image of a Let’s Move! victory, having lost over 100 pounds and even curing his own diabetes! We can imagine why someone decided to tap into his street cred and miraculous weight loss story to bring health to the children of Newark, New Jersey. Read more on Michelle Obama’s ‘Let’s Move!’ Receives Critical Endorsement From Fat Joe…
  urban youths

National Review: Weiner Scandal Is Like Urban Youth With the Hip Hop

Let us get something out of the way, first: We almost totally agree with the National Review Online “The Corner” writer who typed this about the Anthony Weiner scandal. The whole story is gross and doesn’t really matter and says very little about us, as a people, except for what we already know — that we’re a gross nation of gross people doing gross things, on Twitter. But, because it was published on the National Review comedy blog, “The Corner,” it needed some ridiculous and offensive racial stereotype thrown in there, just to maintain institutional equilibrium. In other words, Anthony Weiner twit-picking his yfrog to some gal was just like the black youth and their loud hip-hop. Read more on National Review: Weiner Scandal Is Like Urban Youth With the Hip Hop…
  flotus files

Michelle Obama Would Like To Teach Your Child How To ‘Dougie’

Finally, after a few boring weeks of now-forgotten aviation incidents and answering kids’ dumb questions over and over, our FLOTUS had a pretty great week! And she deserved it, because the stress from all that bin Laden business was starting to make the vegetables wilt. But the blood of Osama has revived the veggies, and with them, the spirit of the Let’s Move! campaign. Last week, Michelle Obama encouraged all the children to do something called a “Dougie,” apparently to benefit their physical fitness. Read more on Michelle Obama Would Like To Teach Your Child How To ‘Dougie’…
  demrats just don't understand

Vaguely Hot Gal Briefly Spotted In Comical Teabagger ‘Rap Video’

Apologies in advance for those who still enjoy the Hippitty Hop and the Rap, because after watching this excruciating video, you too will finally agree that this genre of pop music probably went on for about 15 years longer than necessary …. the direct line from Vanilla Ice to this clumsy clod is actually visible in many shots. Read more on Vaguely Hot Gal Briefly Spotted In Comical Teabagger ‘Rap Video’…
  breaking news of entertainment

Barack Obama Hates This ‘Kanye’ & Other Such Dumb Stuff

Hey have you heard about the important something-or-other, on teevee, when the one hip-hop fellow Mr. Kanye West said something about the hip-hop lady? SCANDAL! Well Barack Obama hates all this dumb misogynistic consumer-good-worshiping dumb shit. [YouTube] Read more on Barack Obama Hates This ‘Kanye’ & Other Such Dumb Stuff…
  liz glover interviews the stars

Liz Glover Talks Post-Racial Politics With Talib Kweli

Hey, it’s Liz Glover, continuing her Hip Hop Tour of America with Black Star’s Talib Kweli and also DJ Hi-Tek. They talk about gangs and things! Liz is assured that she would not be mistaken for a Blood, even if she walked around with “a red flag hanging out my backside.” Take note! Read more on Liz Glover Talks Post-Racial Politics With Talib Kweli…
  liz glover interviews the stars

Liz Glover Harrasses Outkast’s Big Boi About Everything!

Here’s our own Liz Glover with Atlanta celebrity Antwan André Patton, better known as Big Boi. Why do these liberal hip-hoppers watch CNN when they could be learning so much about angry white people from Fox News? And why does that Barack Obama get so much media attention? Read more on Liz Glover Harrasses Outkast’s Big Boi About Everything!…
  al who?

Minnesota Supreme Courts Rules Unanimously For Al Franken, Whatever That Means

Nearly a year ago, in a faraway land called “Minnesota Nice,” two Patriotic Jews fought an epic battle, if by “fought” you mean “people who were already going to vote for president also voted for one of these dorks (or the Lizard People) running for U.S. Senate.” One of them, the rich Hollywood liberal from Minneapolis, wasn’t anybody’s idea of a prize, but he beat the other guy, some kind of lamer from St. Paul. And that other guy, Norm Coleman, who always loses every campaign, just would not give up, because if he admitted defeat then Barack Obama would have 60 Democrats in the Senate and, well, let’s just say it will be “Good-bye Christianity and Hello Women’s Studies & the Hip Hop.” Anyway, the state Supreme Court says Franken won, the end. [Star Tribune] Read more on Minnesota Supreme Courts Rules Unanimously For Al Franken, Whatever That Means…