the hill
Are You An Old Crazy Community College Professor? Then You Too Can Write For ‘The Hill’
Hello, do you write incoherently and do you have a thinly veiled agenda? Then come on down to the Hill and write an Op-Ed, they apparently have very low standards and anyone is welcome! Like Dale Schlundt, an adjunct professor in Business Administration at at community college in Texas, who has written an incoherent article [...]
Rick Santorum Will Gladly Compromise With Democrats To Ruin Social Security For You
Oh finally, Rick Santorum has written a column on the Hill, weighing in on the election and What It Means! And What It Means is that the GOP will FINALLY, after all this time, cooperate with President Obama on cutting Social Security and privatizing Medicare. So the fact that Americans went to the polls and [...]
Not At All Racist Tea Party Express Chairwoman Goes on CNN to Explain Why Obama Doesn’t Love America Like ‘We’ Do
Hello Wonketeers, please enjoy this fun video wherein chairwoman of the Tea Party express Amy Kremer tries to explain why “Obama doesn’t love America the way we do.” Hint: it has something to do with him being “about more a global — having, uh, global, um, oh what’s the word? Being more global, one-world, with [...]
Oh Look Who Wants the Government’s Help Now (Hint: It Is Bobby Jindal)
Why HELLO Gov. Bobby Jindal (R-Hypocrisy), how is it going down there with that big storm barreling through your state and all? Battening down the hatches and whatnot? Letting the American People provide for themselves without suckling from the government’s teat, because of Liberty and all that? No, of course not! Bobby Jindal is UPSET [...]
Club For Growth Pres Will Now Explain Why Laying Off 47,000 People Will Help The Economy
You know what we DON’T need, especially in this economy? An agency dedicated to spurring economic growth, encouraging exports, and funding investment in local businesses, that’s what. Chris Chocola, a former Republican congressman and current president of the Club For Growth, took to The Hill yesterday to make these and other incoherent arguments about why [...]
America’s Youth (Bristol Palin) Didn’t Vote Yesterday
Even though Bristol Palin was dancing in California on the television last night, she still should have sent in her ballot absentee, because voting is just what white rural folks do, and that’s how their candidates win elections. But this morning, as the sun continues to hover over Alaska, Joe Miller is crying because Bristol [...]
Food Options For Beautiful People
If you make it through even a little of the “50 Most Beautiful People” on the Hill list — especially the moving prose — you will learn that the people on this annual summer-gimmick list made it there because of the ability to survive on a diet of cheese nips, pasta, and Diet Mountain Dew. [...]
Everybody’s Going To the U.S. Capitol To Get High
There is nothing quite like an early summer morning around our nation’s Capitol, where happy families are wandering lost and smiling and snapping pictures and lining up for tours of the grand slave-built palace of democracy. But why are they so happy, when they’re wandering lost in the crushing heat and wilting humidity, and where [...]
Reporters Cover Debbie Wasserman Schultz In Maple Syrup, Lick It Off Slowly
A “beat sweetener” is when a reporter flatters a loathsome official, in hopes that the newsmaker’s press person will send news releases a few minutes before that same statement goes out to the entire media world — and that’s how a political journalist Wins the Morning. Today’s beat sweetener is about Congresslady Debbie Wasserman Schultz, [...]
Someone Was Not Civil, Near Lanny Davis!
Stunningly awful Washington lawyer/lobbyist-cum-pundit Lanny Davis, who demands everyone take a pledge to be civil while he literally does whatever X corporation pays him to do, uses his latest column in The Hill to condescendingly lecture Markos “Kos” Moulitsas about how he didn’t properly apologize to a congressman for an error he made in his [...]
Sotomayor’s Magical Bean Foods Make Her Hate White People More
Those popinjays at The Hill have confused the dickens out of the American Internet today with a snippet regarding the Insta-Classic Sotomayor speech — you know, the one where she says she hates dumb white people, because she’s racist. In the speech she “claims” to like the Greater Mexican dish “mucho platos de arroz, gandoles [...]
Congressman Really Wants Grandson To Bang This Chick
We give credit to The Hill for having the courage to start a very necessary new blog, Twitter Room, which nobly tries to capture all of the insane shit members of Congress write on their Twitters. Here’s something they picked up from Rep. Leonard Boswell’s Twitter yesterday — they even read LEONARD BOSWELL’S TWITTER, these [...]
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