Tag Archives: the guardian

  The More Things Change The More Cops Beat Heads

Chicago Police Cosplay Fun ’24,’ CIA Torture Stuff, For Fun!

Everything Old Is New Again
If you thought that police departments arming themselves with military assault rifles, cruising around in surplus MRAPs, and firing tear gas all willy nilly at protestors was maybe a problem, you’ll really love this report from The Guardian, part of reporter Spencer Ackerman’s series on Chicago police abuses. Turns out that for years, Chicago police have routinely “disappeared” arrestees and interrogated them for periods of 12 to 24 hours before booking them, reading them their rights, or allowing them to see an attorney. Essentially, the Chicago Police Department has its very own version of a “Black Site,” a place to soften people up a little in custody before the official paper trail begins: Read more on Chicago Police Cosplay Fun ’24,’ CIA Torture Stuff, For Fun!…
  good show old chaps

Glenn Greenwald Gives British Government A Right Jolly Rogering, Will Probably Never Shut Up About It

It is no secret that yr Wonkette thinks Glenn Greenwald is a screechy, self-aggrandizing jackwagon whose NSA scoops have been over-hyped and overblown (WE UNDERSTAND THIS MAKES US TERRIBLE LIBERALS HITLER-LOVING FASCISTS WHO WOULD FELLATE DICK CHENEY AT THE FIRST OPPORTUNITY, BUT PLEASE FEEL FREE TO SELF-RIGHTEOUSLY SNEER AT US IN THE COMMENTS ANYWAY). But even we were wondering what the hell Great Britain thought it was doing here when we first read this story Sunday afternoon: The partner of the Guardian journalist who has written a series of stories revealing mass surveillance programmes by the US National Security Agency was held for almost nine hours on Sunday by UK authorities as he passed through London’s Heathrow airport on his way home to Rio de Janeiro. David Miranda had spent the previous week in Berlin with Laura Poitras, the American filmmaker who has been Greenwald’s mostly silent partner on the NSA story and filmed those videos of Snowden being interviewed that The Guardian posted in June. Miranda was detained by British authorities under Schedule 7 of the Terrorism Act of 2000. Schedule 7 has long been controversial, as it allows authorities at all airports, ports and border areas broad power to detain and question individuals for up to nine hours. Detainees have no right to a lawyer and it is illegal to refuse to cooperate. According to The Guardian, only one in 2000 detainees are ever held for more than six hours, and 97% are held for less than an hour. According to Nate Silver, who is much gooder at math than us, this means that only one in every 5.6 million travelers who pass through Heathrow are detained for over six hours. Which makes it just a teensy bit difficult for any reasonable person to think Miranda’s detention was a coincidence. Read more on Glenn Greenwald Gives British Government A Right Jolly Rogering, Will Probably Never Shut Up About It…
  the search for truth and justice and a brain

Sad Clown Donald Trump Declines To Release School Records, Because It’s ‘Stupid’

You know all those times when there’s a negative story about someone, and somewhere in the middle there’s a little paragraph about how Shitty Old So-And-So refused comment for the story? Like, because there’s nothing intelligent to say and no legitimate justification for whatever the story’s about? Donald Trump’s spokesman, much like the Man Himself, does not have this impulse. We’re talking, of course, about the Trumpster’s statement yesterday that he would donate $5 million to charity if Barack “The Stupid” Obama would release his college records and passport information, because withholding charitable donations for racist political purposes is not only Trump’s style, it’s patriotic. Bad news, though. It looks like, even when Obama inevitably caves to this reasonable and not at all offensive request, we won’t get to see Trump’s transcripts. Read more on Sad Clown Donald Trump Declines To Release School Records, Because It’s ‘Stupid’…
  old world order

Can of Pringles Causes Bomb Scare At Bilderberg Meeting In Switzerland

The annual super secret scary capitalist meeting of the Bilderbergs is underway in St. Moritz, Switzerland, with all the usual vintage cronies like Kissinger and Rockefeller and the Goldman Sachs chairman and their European villain equivalents. OR IS IT? Two mysterious heroes for democracy attempted to either have a snack or, if you look at it another way, were trying to bomb the meeting with a can of Pringles, which police seized along with the two men. Read more on Can of Pringles Causes Bomb Scare At Bilderberg Meeting In Switzerland…
  not displaying the beautiful prevents desire

Yep, Alvin Greene Asked Your Wonkette To Make Him a Website

When one reads the subject line “From Alvin Greene’s advisors,” one is startled. What’s it like to receive an e-mail from the ten thousand things? How does one read a message written by the wind? But we were a bit disappointed: It was merely Donna Warren, Alvin’s on-again, off-again consulting firm lady, writing us. “I saw on your website that you’d like to be the official webmaster for Alvin Greene.” What? Oh yeah, sometimes we write jokes like, “Looks like his site is still down. Perhaps if we call him, he will let Wonkette be his official website.” And then they come true. Read more on Yep, Alvin Greene Asked Your Wonkette To Make Him a Website…
  he must stand like stone

Coming Soon To the American Economic Recovery: Alvin Greene Action Figures

Alvin Greene Mania has swept Britain! Today The Guardian has their very own profile of one British reporter’s pilgrimage to the hovel of South Carolina Daoist monk Alvin Greene. It is accompanied by a nice photo of Greene talking on the phone with your Wonkette (probably) while he’s writing koans with a simple pencil. The big news in this story is that Alvin Greene has an enigmatic and wise solution “for jobs”—making Alvin Greene action (inaction) figures. It is an incredible quote. Read more on Coming Soon To the American Economic Recovery: Alvin Greene Action Figures…
  haha england

Meanwhile, In England, Parliament Is Terrified About Something Going Public

England’s Parliament, which is what they call their “Senate Finance Committee,” is being very mean to a newspaper! “The Guardian has been prevented from reporting parliamentary proceedings on legal grounds which appear to call into question privileges guaranteeing free speech established under the 1688 Bill of Rights.” Meh, that was so long ago though. Read more on Meanwhile, In England, Parliament Is Terrified About Something Going Public…
 

President Turns 60, Baby Boomers Still Writing About Baby Boomers

We know it’s not ’till Thursday, but we wanted to beat the rush. The AP is amazed to learn that our President is greeting his 60th birthday not with deep, suicidal despair, but rather with — wait for it — relative good humor! But that good humor masks — wait for it — “unmistakably wistful notes.” Join us for a birthday think-piece fun-fest, after the jump. Read more on President Turns 60, Baby Boomers Still Writing About Baby Boomers…
 

Next Week, the ‘Post’ Asks: Who the Hell is Seeing ‘The Break-up’?

This weekend brought two pieces examining the mysterious and terrifying parts of the country that don’t want to push the President down a flight of stairs: The Guardian’s Boise, Idaho and the New York Times’ Provo, Utah. Which piece is more condescending? Which city is stupider? Read more on Next Week, the ‘Post’ Asks: Who the Hell is Seeing ‘The Break-up’?…