the gipper

Ancient lizard god Ronald Reagan achieved many things during his 93 years on Planet Earth, one of which was the actual creation of Planet Earth (modern conservative scholars will confirm this, so don’t argue). It seems our greatest president’s 100th birthday will occur this February 6 (mark your calendar with eagle tears, plan a seance, […]

It’s morning in America, for reals this time! The United States has finally honored its favorite sanitation robot that toiled for 800 years cleaning up the Earth after fat slob humans trashed the whole place. That’s right, WALL-E is now on a postage stamp, so that very old people who still pay bills with stamps […]

Is your dad an angry old wingnut? Is he also still alive? Well here is a gift for the upcoming “thing after Mother’s Day” occasion, “Father’s Day.” It’s from NewsMax, the great online Internet webzine/old-people newsletter that will soon own Newsweek if the Kaplan School Testing Company is run by people with a sense of […]

Some communist somewhere is circulating this old AP newspaper clipping claiming that the sainted Reagan Administration did that thing that every political leadership has done since the Dawn of Politics, and frankly it’s insulting to the memory of The Gipper to even suggest his White House would’ve offered an ambassadorship or administration job to a […]