the gays
Mismatched Youths Attempt to Glitter Bomb Marcus Bachmann
Once upon a time, in America, there were sit-ins and boycotts and hippies getting it on in the back of vans, and this is how we attempted to achieve justice. But it is 2011 now, and young activists require tactics that not only prove a point, but provide really hilarious videos to post to the [...]
California Will Also Teach Gay History Instead of Just American Wars
Gov. Jerry Brown signed SB 48 into law yesterday, which means that California schools must somehow squeeze gay history into its schools’ curriculum, which up until this point have followed the standard formula of 97% white men kicking ass, 2% Martin Luther King, Jr. and 1% bad things happening to America that encourage white men [...]
Virginia Confederacy Annoyed By Gay Flag At Richmond Federal Reserve
Deep in the confederate stronghold of Richmond, Virginia, there’s something mighty queer afoot: The Federal Reserve building in Richmond has a homosexual rainbow flag fluttering beneath the American flag. Why? Apparently it’s National Gay and Lesbian and BLT Month, and if President Obama wasn’t already minority enough, he is also promoting this celebration of the [...]
Trusted D.C. Source Says GOP Congressman Aaron Schock Is Gay
Oooo, is this Gay Day? Is it always like this around here? Well look: Firstly, we do not really want to be in the “outing the gay people” business. But that does happen in Washington with the Republican senators and congressman every few months, so it seems we’re on that beat for the time being. [...]
CNN: Gays To Be Tested On Sports Trivia Knowledge
You know when you buy some something, let’s say a “suit for work interviews,” and then everybody is wearing the same thing, including at the very building where you’re interviewing? Or, you know how you move to the Big City and suddenly everyone is gay, and you start wondering if maybe a lot more people [...]
Lindsey Graham’s Butchest Moments
For years, Lindsey Graham has been dogged (a little bit of pun intended there) by allegations that he is gay. He denies this, and professes to just be a strange bachelor whose house is strewn with trash. Last December, however, gay-outer Mike Rogers said he had “pictures” of a man who spent the night at [...]
Tennessee Legislature Making It Illegal To Mention To Kids Gay People Exist
On Monday, Tennessee’s state House passed a bill to ban local laws that protect gay citizens from discrimination after the cesspool that is Nashville decided it would start considering gay people human beings of all things. (GAYS ARE A TYPE OF PLANT LIFE, NASHVILLE.) This is a fairly proactive approach to quelling equality before it [...]
Bryan Fischer Opines On Lady Gaga, Admits He May Be Turning Into a Gay
The 2012 Republican presidential field’s favorite Jesus-band radio host, the American Family Association’s Bryan Fischer, routinely professes to the world how disgusting gay people are, just in case people forgot and briefly thought he may enjoy penises being inserted into his rectum. But this latest column is a bit of a departure. He leads off [...]
First Lady Michelle Obama Helps All the Straight Military Families
Performing a nationwide genocide of American fat children can get tiring after a while, because there are just so many of them, and so many things keeping them alive. With this in mind, our FLOTUS has taken a break from broccoli-boarding 4th graders to focus on something equally depressing: the struggles of military families! This [...]
Michele Bachmann Not Sure If the Gays Are a ‘Public Health Crisis’
Staring abyss Michele Bachmann appeared before Iowa social conservative group FAMiLY Leader, whose leader apparently once said, “If we’re teaching the kids, ‘don’t smoke, because that’s a risky health style,’ the same can be true of the homosexual lifestyle. That’s why I think we need to speak the truth once in a while.” So Think [...]
Montana Still Wants To Prosecute People For Being Gay
“Fourteen years ago the Montana Supreme Court ruled that a state law criminalizing gay sex violates Montana’s constitution, yet the Montana Legislature has repeatedly failed to scrub the language, which places homosexuality in the same legal category as bestiality, from the books.” Too busy trying to legalize drunk driving? No, Montana’s legislators just hate gay [...]
Former ‘SNL’ Player, Current Bigot Victoria Jackson Running for President?
The mentally ill are such ideal teevee guests, aren’t they? Oh, good thing she brought that book along to show in case we wanted to buy one. Hadn’t heard of it. WAIT A SECOND, WHAT’S THAT ON HER PALM? Does that say “NH”? As in New Hampshire? Oh God, this woman is running for president. [...]
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