• The government will run into trouble with its loans once the Fed raises interest rates and might even lose its new 7-bedroom townhouse in Phoenix. [New York Times]
• Pedophiles keep molesting children, despite ankle monitor tracking devices things that strongly suggest they consider doing otherwise. [Washington Post]
• Short-term radiation leak at Three Mile Island this weekend! Pennsylvania is nuclear-capable, which means serious thought must be given to bombing it. [CNN]
• 21 Filipino hostages, including the wife of a guy running for governor, were killed after a rival political gang hijacked their convoy. [AP]
• The Brazilian President invited Ahmadinejad to Brazil, which is something the US might be mad about even though Ahmadinejad goes to New York like constantly. [LA Times]
• Here is the theme of today’s copy of the Internet: this MTV person had a totes scandalous performance on the teenager show. Everyone please hope Andrew Sullivan proves Bristol Palin is a hologram. [MTV News]

Have you ever had a holiday vacation on Martha’s Vineyard? So boring! Once you get over the “Ah and there’s where Ted Kennedy crashed his car and drowned that lady” historical thing — sorry, Denby! — you realize it’s just a place full of crappy tourist shops and terrible humid boiling weather and a bunch of ugly gated beach mansions surrounded by swamps, bogs and discarded “lobster rolls.” How to jazz it up? Barack Obama decided to go on the teevee to announce what everybody already knew he was doing: giving Ben Bernanke another term. MORE »