• YOU’RE ALL INVITED TO WONKETTE’S HILLARY CLINTON POOL PARTY: Tomorrow, Washington, D.C. will reach a heat index of 105 degrees, Fahrenheit. You will not be able to play outside, so you might as well watch Hillary’s big farewell speech in which she will endorse Senator Barack Obama, depending on your interpretation of “endorse” (shoot?). The speech is planned for noon, and your Wonkette will be here to liveblog it, since we’ll already have been awake for five hours watching Cartoons. Join!

We used this same movie picture yesterday when the Associated Press erroneously reported that Hillary would concede in her speech last night. It only makes sense to use it again, because, as all Americans know, you have to destroy two (2) Death Stars to take down an Empire. We assume Hillary understands this, and that’s why we “trust” this latest report that Hillary will concede by Friday at a gathering of her top supporters. Meanwhile, Barack Obama will be celebrating his Victory with fuzzy Ewoks at a bonfire in his native Kenya. [ABC News]

• WE’RE SORRY, WHAT UNIT OF TIME WAS THAT?: Barry Obama took a “victory lap” around the Capitol today during which some reporter asked him about Hillary’s catty speech last night: “I thought Sen. Clinton, after a long-fought campaign, was understandably focused on her supporters. …I just spoke to her today, and we are going to be having a conversation in the coming weeks.” When the time comes, Hillary will give Obama directions to the grassy knoll where she wishes to meet. [Politico/The Crypt]

We will be back tonight to provide more blog laffs as we cover the Montana and South Dakota primaries, the final two in this Historic Election between an Historic Black Person and an Historic Woman. Until then, check out the latest gossip and “news” surrounding this End of this Historic Primary Election in History, after the Historic Jump. MORE »

[AP via Drudge Report]

“WASHINGTON - Hillary Rodham Clinton will concede Tuesday night that Barack Obama has the delegates to secure the Democratic nomination, campaign officials said, effectively ending her bid to be the nation’s first female president.”

But! MORE »

Can Obama do it? Can Hillary force herself to lose? Every reporter in the country is scanning e-mails, harassing sources, divining from “expense reports,” following travel schedules, monitoring clandestine superdelegate meetings, et cetera et cetera and so forth, to see what’s gonna happen tomorrow. Here’s a bulleted list of tea leaves being read. Our guess? Hillary herself has not even considered making a plan yet. MORE »

It appears that Bill Clinton’s latest run for president will be his last, despite rumors that he may run again in 2012. “I want to say also, that this may be the last day I’m ever involved in a campaign of this kind,” he said at a rally in South Dakota today. “I thought I was out of politics, ’til Hillary decided to run,” he continued, “But it has been, one of the greatest honors of my life to go around and campaign for her for president.” Indeed, now that his wife will likely leave the race, President Clinton — the leader of the Democratic Party for 16 years — can no longer be involved in politics, much like he wasn’t when he didn’t campaign for John Kerry or Al Gore. [First Read]

“The Senate Ethics Committee declined Thursday to investigate Sen. David Vitter, who was linked to an escort service whose owner was convicted in federal court and subsequently committed suicide.” But of course. [AP]