Tag Archives: the economy

  Your New Reality

Your Labor Day Explainer Of Why None Of Us Have Jobs

On Friday, Ben Bernanke delivered a speech at Jackson Hole, in which he either said something that was very good news, or alternatively, said something very disappointing and you should get used to eating cat food and stealing WiFi.  But which is it? Very good or very disappointing? And how screwed are we? So many  tough questions! But do not worry — all questions will be answered because as always, your Wonkette is here to help! Herewith, a breakdown of Bernanke’s Jackson Hole presentation, and exactly how it relates to you and how screwed you are and probably will keep being for awhile. OH AND HAPPY LABOR DAY. Read more on Your Labor Day Explainer Of Why None Of Us Have Jobs…
  fed the end

Congress And Ben Bernanke On Who’s In Charge Of Economy: One Two Three Not It!

Whose PROBLEM is this, you might be wondering, as you try desperately to save for your children’s college education, pay off your own student loans, keep up with the mortgage payments on a house worth less than what you owe on it, hope that you do not get sick, and contemplate a retirement age of around 80 (which, incidentally, is three years more than the average lifespan of American men and fourteen years longer than the average lifespan of African American men). Whose PROBLEM is this, you wonder, given that this lifestyle seems somewhere between impossible and unsustainable. The answer, of course, is that it is YOUR problem, DUH, seeing as government cannot create jobs and job creators simply do not want to create jobs. But soon, these years spent pinching pennies and praying for health will seem like some sort of golden age because it is about to get much worse, and everybody is under the impression that it is nobody’s job to do a damn thing about it. This is according to NBC news, which has brought us the appropriately titled article “Fed, Congress Fiddles as US Economy Stumbles.” (No, no one is actually playing a fiddle, and that is probably the most surprising thing in this article): Read more on Congress And Ben Bernanke On Who’s In Charge Of Economy: One Two Three Not It!…
  banksters

Who Will Rescue the Banks From these Anti-American Assaults on Their Freedom?

Remember a long, long time ago, WAY back, when the economy was ruined, possibly forever, along with life as we know it? Remember how this was all caused by a handful of banks but then this somehow got turned around and blamed on bunch of Poors? And then, remember how we gave them a bunch of money (the banks, not poor people) with absolutely no strings attached and just asked them nicely if they would pretty please not do anything bad again? And then, remember how the government implemented a couple tepid rules that the banks might get to rewrite, because they don’t like them? Think hard now, do you remember all of that? Because the banks remember, but it’s cool because they TOTALLY HAVE IT UNDER CONTROL, you guys. No need to step in, these are the best and brightest, they know exactly what they’re doing, and they most definitely aren’t going to put up with these “anti-American” efforts to make sure that they have enough liquidity to cover their obligations to investors. Where do you think this is — France? Read more on Who Will Rescue the Banks From these Anti-American Assaults on Their Freedom?…
  as seen on teevee

Anthony Weiner Wants To Steal All Of Your Precious Goldline Coins

Anthony Weiner is trying to trick America into believing that teevee investment firm “Goldline” is a bit of a scam. What is with these liberals? Glenn Beck and Fred Thompson get it. They know that FDR issued an Executive Order and can confiscate all of your gold whenever he feels like it. That’s why buying every coin-thing from the Goldline telemarketer person is the last safe investment on earth. It’s painfully obvious that Anthony Weiner is trying to steal all of your commemorative NASCAR gold coins, so that he can melt them into worthless “Ameros.” Luckily you hid your Goldline coins in your XXL underwear drawer, and Anthony Weiner will never be able to locate them, since they will be camouflaged by your enormous underwear. Read more on Anthony Weiner Wants To Steal All Of Your Precious Goldline Coins…
  main street not harry reid street

Just FYI: Harry Reid Has Absolutely Nothing To Do With the Economy

Dear Nevada, Please stop blaming Harry Reid for your economic woes, because do you people even know what the economy (or Harry Reid) is? The Economy, like the Internet, is a series of tubes. Harry Reid is just an old man from Nevada. So why must you insist that Harry Reid is somehow related to the struggling economy? Harry Reid has nothing to do with the economy, they are not even distant acquaintances. So honestly, enough with the “Sharron Angle told me Harry Reid tricked me into buying toxic assets so that he could foreclose on my trailer park home” whining. If you knew anything, you would understand Harry Reid needed that billion-dollar bailout, because he is too big to fail. Read more on Just FYI: Harry Reid Has Absolutely Nothing To Do With the Economy…
  rumors on the internets

Sex Is Not Recession-Proof, And Publicly Fan-Mailing Andrew Sullivan Apparently Not Sex-Proof

One of the many, many middle-aged couples who own socialist sex boutiques in LA—a demographic that’s actually the plurality of Andrew Sullivan’s readers—would like a business/pleasure bailout please. [Daily Dish] At this thing called a “Defending the American Dream Summit”, famous bald prostitute Joe the Famous Bald Prostitute criticized Michael Steele, for such is the popular fashion of the times, for trying to make conservatism all about “hip hop,” a black language aphorism which the Politico will translate just in time for AC 360 tonight. [RedState] Read more on Sex Is Not Recession-Proof, And Publicly Fan-Mailing Andrew Sullivan Apparently Not Sex-Proof…
  thursdays are for magazines

Traversing The Atlantic

Let’s see what the boys at the Atlantic have cooked up for us this month, in the magazine’s March issue. There’s war, and the economy, and Christianity—timeless subjects, all! There’s also Christopher Hitchens, trying to one-up Adam Gopnik the only way he knows how: by writing disparaging remarks in Sharpie on his face. Read more on Traversing The Atlantic…
 

John McCain Is A Mexican

The only thing Hillary has going for her is tears, huh? [Wizbang Politics] Huck likes to call people up and share his opinions with them! [TPM] Here’s a whole bunch of silly things about Barack Obama that aren’t true, but did you know that he’s Kenyan? [Carpetbagger Report] Read more on John McCain Is A Mexican…