Tag Archives: the daily show

  Here have some news n stuff

Correction: Barack Obama Is Not In Fact The Antichrist

Manhater
Best newspaper correction ever or BEST EVER?Here’s the original letter. It’s quite something: Who and what is Barack Obama? Obama claims nobody can stop him or change anything he’s done. This evil must come to pass before the Lord’s return and the rise of the Antichrist, but you better know what evil you’re dealing with. Nobody is promised another minute of life upon this earth, and judgment comes at the time of your death. Read more on Correction: Barack Obama Is Not In Fact The Antichrist…
  Why aren't the Obamas in bad-parent jail?

Mike Huckabee Can’t Believe Beyonce Still Hasn’t Resigned In Disgrace

Mike Huckabee, perpetual maybe-presidential candidate, wrote a book about what’s wrong with America. Everything, basically, is wrong with America — including the Obamas allowing their daughters to get their hippity-hop on to Beyonce’s whore music. But it’s not as if he wanted anyone to notice that. That anyone in the media is all, “Huh? What?” just proves his point that America is a cesspool of Indecency and Immorality and other I-words. (The Huckster is also fond of the greatest I-word in the Bible, which no Republicans ever talk about, ever, but it rhymes with dimpeachment.) Read more on Mike Huckabee Can’t Believe Beyonce Still Hasn’t Resigned In Disgrace…
  I'm On A Vote Mothafukka

Watch Jon Stewart’s Favorite Midterms Batsh*t Moments (Video)

nautical times
Jon Stewart brings us more yummy electoral goodness, starting with a brief montage of precious election moments: Mitch McConnell’s bizarre b-roll ad and subsequent #McConnelling, Charlie Crist’s fan, Joni Ernst cutting nutz, and New York Republican Michael Grimm and his beautiful fraud indictments — not to mention his offer to break a reporter in half “like a boy” for asking a question about it (somehow, Stewart really doesn’t mention it). Read more on Watch Jon Stewart’s Favorite Midterms Batsh*t Moments (Video)…
  Whatcha watchin'?

Election Day Fun: Researchers Reveal Democrats And Republicans’ Most Favoritest TV Shows

It’s Election Day! Are you a Democrat? Great, go vote and then enjoy a nice episode of Modern Family or Community! Are you a Republican? Pshaw, your side already has this election in the bag, so just stay home and enjoy a nice NCIS or Blue Bloods marathon. Read more on Election Day Fun: Researchers Reveal Democrats And Republicans’ Most Favoritest TV Shows…
  clipbait

The Daily Show: Nurse’s Job Killed To Death By Obamacare (Video)

Obamacare FAIL not so FAIL actually
The Daily Show’s Jordan Klepper investigates the Obamacare Apocalypse and what went wrong with everything that’s supposedly going wrong but somehow isn’t. Weird! He manages to find one nurse who says she lost her job because of Obamacare — except she’s really happy about it. Which doesn’t stop him from trying to spin it into an apocalyptic headline … somehow. Read more on The Daily Show: Nurse’s Job Killed To Death By Obamacare (Video)…
  here she comes miss america

The Daily Show’s Jessica Williams For Queen

You know Jessica Williams, the young black woman on The Daily Show. You love Jessica Williams. The first time you saw Jessica Williams — maybe it was that video above! — you said, “who is this girl she is so fucking good” because you always forget not to infantilize grown women by calling them girls like that, and also you never punctuate while you’re talking. READ MORE Read more on The Daily Show’s Jessica Williams For Queen…
  clipbait

Watch Jon Stewart Explainer Chris Christie’s BridgeGate; Stephen Colbert Tells You About ‘Winter’

Our Clipbait for today brings you Jon Stewart unraveling last September’s political-retribution traffic jams on the George Washington Bridge, and Stephen Colbert wrestles with this whole “it’s cold” concept. For folks who haven’t been following BridgeGate, TDS explains what happened and why it’s such awful news for the presidential hopes of New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie. READ MORE Read more on Watch Jon Stewart Explainer Chris Christie’s BridgeGate; Stephen Colbert Tells You About ‘Winter’…
  Our Cold Dead Hands

Jerry Brown’s Stormtroopers Might Actually Pry Some Guns From Some Cold Dead Hands, and Other Gun News

Hi diddly ho, Wonkerinos! It has been awhile since we submerged ourselves in the crazy world of America’s most prominent and deadly fetish. Frankly, we were feeling a bit overwhelmed with all the stories of people accidentally blowing away their own toddlers while cleaning their shotguns, and then the useless dicks in Congress killed gun control, and we decided fuck it, we live in a country full of irrational freaks and there is nothing left to do but make ourselves a nice Thorazine omelet for breakfast every morning and spend the rest of the day lying on the couch, drooling and watching sunbeams inch across the floor. But then Editrix started stuffing our inbox with gun-related stories, and we read them and went online and read some more, and it turns out writing about gun news is a little bit like being a serial killer. You can only stop for so long before the psychological pressure becomes too great, and the only relief is to find another co-ed to imprison in your soundproofed basement dungeon with your cabinet full of well-oiled antique dental tools. By which we mean write another column. IT’S A METAPHOR, DAMMIT! So let’s get to it. Read more on Jerry Brown’s Stormtroopers Might Actually Pry Some Guns From Some Cold Dead Hands, and Other Gun News…
  mummyblogs

The Jon Stewart Of Egypt Has His Very Own Glenn Beck

If it wasn’t for Jon Stewart making them all laugh through the pain, libruhls would have slapped their own faces to death a long time ago. But now, the same comic relief is available to Egyptians, who are in much need of humor. Egypt’s two presidential contenders have each declared themselves the winner every day for the last week or so, not noticing that the military already made itself president. Egyptians also can’t seem to decide if their former dictator, Hosni Mubarak, is dead, half dead, in a coma, rising from the dead or just faking death-by-coma in order to flee the scary prison where everyone wants to keel heem and get on to wherever Ken Lay moved after he faked his death. Uruguay? Read more on The Jon Stewart Of Egypt Has His Very Own Glenn Beck…
  toucan sam says go fuck yourself

Tony The Tiger On Jon Stewart’s Vagina Manger: Tastes Grrrreat!

The Catholic League’s Bill Donohue is none-too-pleased with the Kellogg’s family of cereals, as it unaccountably refused to yield to his demands that it immediately stop advertising on the Jonathan Stewartsky Half-Hour Jew Hour That Hates Goys Full-Time. Oooooh, what’d Kellogg’s say to Bill Donohue? Did they tell him to get fucked? Yes. Yes they did. “We understand that our customers come from a variety of backgrounds, experiences, lifestyles, and cultures and we respect their individual decisions to choose the television programs that they deem acceptable for themselves and their families. Consumers speak most loudly when they vote with their remote control and change the channel or turn off the TV if a program does not fit their personal criteria.” Hahahahaha, that is corporate-speak for “well bless your heart,” which is southern lady for “fuck you in the ass face down on a gravel road,” which is southern man for “Well, fine fellow, I must civilly disagree!” And don’t think Bill Donohue doesn’t know exactly what he just heard! He’s so mad he’s about to go full-Nuge! Read more on Tony The Tiger On Jon Stewart’s Vagina Manger: Tastes Grrrreat!…
  smart people

Rick Sanchez Finally Reveals World’s Secret: Everything Run By Jews

According to CNN’s Rick Sanchez, Rick Sanchez is not an idiot, he merely came from a working class family. And that’s why Rick Sanchez hates Jon Stewart: Jon Stewart is “bigoted” against him. And Jews like Jon Stewart “run” CNN and “all the other networks,” so Jews aren’t allowed to be a minority. Makes sense! That is a logical thing to say. “Wait a minute, this guy is criticizing me, but doesn’t he realize I’m a minority? You can’t criticize minorities.” Why does Rick Sanchez know he is a smart person? Because he said all these comments about Jon Stewart and the Jews out loud, on a national radio show. Read more on Rick Sanchez Finally Reveals World’s Secret: Everything Run By Jews…
  everyone is mean on television

Jim Cramer, Joe Scarborough Have Had Enough Of These Jon Stewart LIES

Last week on his Daily Show, Jon Stewart did something that’s been a very popular trend on the Internet for about two years now: he searched “cnbc wrong” on YouTube and showed clips for five to ten minutes, with minimal commentary, because there is just too much CNBC badness on the YouTubes. (He didn’t even get some of the REALLY good stuff, like when a guest would come on in early 2007, say that housing prices would fall and land us in a major recession, and be met with a terrifying response of ear-crushing drunk laughter and almost violent mockery.) The segment was extremely popular, and CNBC has been in damage control ever since. And what’s a better way to make the whole episode quietly disappear than by putting loud bear-frog Jim Cramer on teevee shows to scream at Jon Stewart, for being mean? Read more on Jim Cramer, Joe Scarborough Have Had Enough Of These Jon Stewart LIES…
  sexytimes

Bill O’Reilly Makes Awkward Appearance On The Daily Show

One of the personalities everyone in America mocks on a daily basis, Bill O’Reilly, went on Jon Stewart’s political comedy program The Daily Show last night to promote his insanely titled new book, A Bold Fresh Piece of Humanity. O’Reilly tries to appear affable for the hippie crowd, but for O’Reilly that means bullying his host with the words, “Listen, Stewart,” and saying all liberals are fags with no “traditional values.” Stewart insults O’Reilly constantly, too! Culture Wars! Part 1 is above, Part 2 after the jump. Read more on Bill O’Reilly Makes Awkward Appearance On The Daily Show…
 

‘Terry? How Do You Do That?’

Jon Stewart marvels at Terry McAuliffe’s fantastical refusal to confront reality. “Kiss my ass, Barack,” Terry says, and a bunch of other comical things. Will Terry McAuliffe look back on these last days of the campaign and feel ashamed of his terrible buffoonery? Probably not, because he will be drunk on Puerto Rican rum. [The Daily Show] Read more on ‘Terry? How Do You Do That?’…
 

MSNBC to Survive on Other Outlets Making Fun of It

newVideoPlayer("Stewart_Mathews_Snapper.flv", 475, 376,""); The best thing about having Jon Stewart back, for now, is that he can bring the Chris Matthews Makefun-athon to the teevee. It’s a tough thing, making fun of Chris Matthews, but every now and then, the MSNBC host gets a wee bit slappy. Read more on MSNBC to Survive on Other Outlets Making Fun of It…
 

Rumors On The Internets: Born For Porn

* Jim Webb faces a dilemma — will his new book have as many father/son blowjob scenes as the last one, or does he want to be vice president? [Political Wire] * Yes. Americans unequivocally have a right to as much porn as they can possibly consume. [Blogs for Bush] * Voters are already sick of all the actual presidential candidates. [Hit & Run] * Diplomats in Tehran think the U.S. is just crazy enough to do it. [Jerusalem Post] * Jon Stewart vs. John Bolton ends in a hit, a palpable hit. [C&L] * Ohio Governor Ted Strickland loves the sexing. [ Pandagon] * Norah O’Donnell: so perty yet so braindead. [Think Progress] * Riding in cars with presidents. [Rude Pundit] Read more on Rumors On The Internets: Born For Porn…
 

Remainders: When Your Ass Can Cash All The Checks Your Mouth Writes

Republican congressman keeps day job after trying hand at blogging, comedy. [The Hill Blog] Two-and-a-half years in office and Schwarzenegger is still shocked by how redneck California actually is. [AP] If Kos is getting paid to hate Lieberman then his credibility will be, well, about the same as ours. [The Nation] Read more on Remainders: When Your Ass Can Cash All The Checks Your Mouth Writes…
 

Ted Stevens, Internet Expert, Goes National

Senator Ted “Series of Tubes” Stevens got the Daily Show treatment last night — the stock illustrations may be the highlight of the clip, as despite Jon Stewart’s best efforts, it is hard to improve on the nonsensical ramblings of a crazy, grizzled old prospector. Read more on Ted Stevens, Internet Expert, Goes National…
 

Go Suck on a Chalupa

Okay, this really doesn’t have much to do with politics or current affairs. Immigration, maybe? But it’s pretty damn funny, so we hope you’ll forgive us for sharing it with you. Read more on Go Suck on a Chalupa…
 

Dick Cheney’s Likes and Dislikes

If you’re like us, you’re annoyed that the Daily Show’s list of what Dick Cheney finds offensive and inoffensive, shown on last night’s show, flashed on the screen for about two seconds. Fortunately, we have a screen cap. Here it is: Read more on Dick Cheney’s Likes and Dislikes…
 

Grand Theft Auto: Okay in Chevy Chase, But Not in Southeast

As our friends at The Daily Show recently noted, Rep. Joseph Pitts (R-PA) has some interesting views on video game violence and America’s youth. Check it out: Rep. Joe Pitts on Violent Video Games [YouTube via Hot Potato Mash] Read more on Grand Theft Auto: Okay in Chevy Chase, But Not in Southeast…