Tag: the corner

Let’s All Celebrate Constitution Day With Orrin Hatch!

Wow, Constitution Day is already here? Looks like the holiday season that began last week with 9/11 is nearly over and we all will have to go back to work soon. So what do we do on Constitution Day?...

National Review Typing Person Unhappy With Being Mocked

Oh okay, fine, we'll bite, but only because Newell emailed this and he's supposed to be ON VACATION for a few days, Jesus, but whatever, here is what National Review Online typing person typed in response to, uh, Wonkette...

Jonah Goldberg Upset That Ecological Apocalypse Could Undermine Political Support For Offshore Drilling

With this insane freaking oil rig down there shitting out all of the world's oil at a pace that could reach six million gallons a day -- the Exxon Valdez spill was 11 million gallons, total -- destroying the...

Wall Street Assholes Will Eat Your Cushy Middle-Class Job

Once General Secretary Obama and Chief Commissar Pelosi have banned all capitalist activity more advanced that barter and turned Lower Manhattan into a giant open-air market for selling organic produce and hemp blankets, what will become of the tightly...

K-Lo Getting Hairy Palms Because of All the Nasty Sexytime On the ‘Puter

Ever since National Review Online's old maid Kathryn Jean Lopez heard about sex a few weeks ago, she has been frantically typing with one hand about all the dirty, dirty, dirty pornography on the Internet which is so filthy,...

CORNER FIGHT! Sane Conservative Person Jim Manzi of the National Review, out of nowhere, has gone and stone cold eviscerated the dickens out of his colleague Mark Levin's stupid bestseller book of lies. "It was awful. It was so...

Porn-Crazed Kathryn Jean Lopez Begs For ‘Steady Stream of E-mails Coming Into My Inbox’

Lonely National Review Online blogger Kathryn Jean Lopez regularly rhapsodizes over three untouchable Man-Gods (the Pope, Ronald Reagan and Jonah Goldberg) and sternly disapproves of almost everything else in our Earthly Realm, especially Pornography. Now, however, K-Lo is literally...

A Children’s Treasury Of National Review Online’s Most Comical Passages From The Past 24 Hours

Political scribes at National Review's The Corner -- the #1 Internet blog -- have displayed a range of reactions to the passage of last night's abortion mandate. Mark Steyn and John Derbyshire, for example, are pretty sure that the...

Jonah Goldberg Decides Next Wingnut Target Is … Teddy Roosevelt

Not even teabaggers and wingnuts pay any attention to Jonah Goldberg, but he still wants in on this whole GOP purge & self-destruct thing he saw on the Internet, so he has bravely submitted the dead Republican president Teddy...

James O’Keefe Releases Important Statement

Remember that letter Martin Luther King Jr. wrote from a Birmingham jail? What about Adolf Hitler's Mein Kampf. Each one a stirring moral treatise on society's injustices, a refusal to Stand Down. Well guess what: starting today they both...

GREAT MOMENTS FROM THE #1 INTERNET BLOG: Mark Krikorian, people. And the italics are, indeed, his: "My guess is that Haiti's so screwed up because it wasn't colonized long enough." Oh my god. "But, unlike Jamaicans and Bajans and...

Jonah Goldberg Inks Big Book Deal, World Expecting To Be Blown Away

In honor of Jonah Goldberg's hot new million-dollar book deal, we thought we'd re-share this great moment from our nation's most greatest political thinker ever. When's your book coming out, average reader?

"A MUST-READ ORGAN OF CONSERVATIVE OPINION": this is how The Corner's #1 accurate describer of things Rich Lowry characterizes Sarah Palin's Facebook page, with those words right over there. The ones in caps. No, no, in black. The bold...

If Men Are Allowed To Get Knee Surgery Whenever They Want, Women Should Be Able To Keep Themselves From Getting Pregnant

Hey everyone Jonah Goldberg thinks that ladies get pregnant through their knees. This is the only possibly explanation.

Check Out What The Christian God Did Today

So that horrific killing spree put a real damper on the day's comedy prospects, although we're sure Wolf Blitzer's trying his inadvertent best to make us all laugh again. But know that before the sadness in Texas, God painted...

Jonah Has A Headache, Okay?

But... maybe try sucking harder? (Thank you to Wonkette Operative "Ruprick.")