the corner
Let’s All Celebrate Constitution Day With Orrin Hatch!
Wow, Constitution Day is already here? Looks like the holiday season that began last week with 9/11 is nearly over and we all will have to go back to work soon. So what do we do on Constitution Day? BLASPHEME! This holiday was created in 2004 when the late Robert Byrd stuck it into a [...]
National Review Typing Person Unhappy With Being Mocked
Oh okay, fine, we’ll bite, but only because Newell emailed this and he’s supposed to be ON VACATION for a few days, Jesus, but whatever, here is what National Review Online typing person typed in response to, uh, Wonkette making fun of his dumb column actually calling for a nuclear bomb to be “used” to [...]
Wall Street Assholes Will Eat Your Cushy Middle-Class Job
Once General Secretary Obama and Chief Commissar Pelosi have banned all capitalist activity more advanced that barter and turned Lower Manhattan into a giant open-air market for selling organic produce and hemp blankets, what will become of the tightly wound young men who made all that money for you and me, right up until the [...]
K-Lo Getting Hairy Palms Because of All the Nasty Sexytime On the ‘Puter
Ever since National Review Online’s old maid Kathryn Jean Lopez heard about sex a few weeks ago, she has been frantically typing with one hand about all the dirty, dirty, dirty pornography on the Internet which is so filthy, so hawt, so nasty. (Actually, K-Lo “discovers” the p0rN every year about this time. It’s like [...]
CORNER FIGHT! Sane Conservative Person Jim Manzi of the National Review, out of nowhere, has gone and stone cold eviscerated the dickens out of his colleague Mark Levin’s stupid bestseller book of lies. “It was awful. It was so bad that it was like the proverbial clock that chimes 13 times — not only is [...]
Porn-Crazed Kathryn Jean Lopez Begs For ‘Steady Stream of E-mails Coming Into My Inbox’
Lonely National Review Online blogger Kathryn Jean Lopez regularly rhapsodizes over three untouchable Man-Gods (the Pope, Ronald Reagan and Jonah Goldberg) and sternly disapproves of almost everything else in our Earthly Realm, especially Pornography. Now, however, K-Lo is literally begging readers of her hilarious group-blog “The Corner” to send their porn confessions — all because [...]
A Children’s Treasury Of National Review Online’s Most Comical Passages From The Past 24 Hours
Political scribes at National Review’s The Corner — the #1 Internet blog — have displayed a range of reactions to the passage of last night’s abortion mandate. Mark Steyn and John Derbyshire, for example, are pretty sure that the entire world (America) will start disintegrating into barbarism, Jonah Goldberg believes something about a super-collider (?), [...]
Jonah Goldberg Decides Next Wingnut Target Is … Teddy Roosevelt
Not even teabaggers and wingnuts pay any attention to Jonah Goldberg, but he still wants in on this whole GOP purge & self-destruct thing he saw on the Internet, so he has bravely submitted the dead Republican president Teddy “Theodore” Roosevelt as the next victim. Why must the beloved GOP icon be destroyed? Because Jonah [...]
GREAT MOMENTS FROM THE #1 INTERNET BLOG: Mark Krikorian, people. And the italics are, indeed, his: “My guess is that Haiti’s so screwed up because it wasn’t colonized long enough.” Oh my god. “But, unlike Jamaicans and Bajans and Guadeloupeans, et al., after experiencing the worst of tropical colonial slavery, the Haitians didn’t stick around [...]
Jonah Goldberg Inks Big Book Deal, World Expecting To Be Blown Away
In honor of Jonah Goldberg’s hot new million-dollar book deal, we thought we’d re-share this great moment from our nation’s most greatest political thinker ever. When’s your book coming out, average reader? [Gawker]
“A MUST-READ ORGAN OF CONSERVATIVE OPINION”: this is how The Corner’s #1 accurate describer of things Rich Lowry characterizes Sarah Palin’s Facebook page, with those words right over there. The ones in caps. No, no, in black. The bold ones right above right here. There are like seven of them? Just keeping looking until you [...]
If Men Are Allowed To Get Knee Surgery Whenever They Want, Women Should Be Able To Keep Themselves From Getting Pregnant
Hey everyone Jonah Goldberg thinks that ladies get pregnant through their knees. This is the only possibly explanation. [via Instaputz]
Check Out What The Christian God Did Today
So that horrific killing spree put a real damper on the day’s comedy prospects, although we’re sure Wolf Blitzer’s trying his inadvertent best to make us all laugh again. But know that before the sadness in Texas, God painted the teabaggers a rainbow. And then someone in an office took a picture of the Teabaggers’ [...]
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