So that horrific killing spree put a real damper on the day’s comedy prospects, although we’re sure Wolf Blitzer’s trying his inadvertent best to make us all laugh again. But know that before the sadness in Texas, God painted the teabaggers a rainbow. And then someone in an office took a picture of the Teabaggers’ Rainbow and e-mailed it to K-Lo, the end. [The Corner]

But… maybe try sucking harder? [The Corner]
(Thank you to Wonkette Operative “Ruprick.”)

Ha ha ha ha ha hahha ahah, so good, but wait, where’s the… oh…OHHHH! The story itself is the punchline! And yet, what could the specific comedic mechanism be here? Maybe that it’s silly for the U.N. to do this when America is the richest and freest country in the world so obviously there couldn’t be any problems like this. DUH. More likely, though, Jonah just thinks the term “special rapporteur” is French and gay and made up. But it’s… the term they use? For these positions? Oh Jonah. One time he wrote a book about how American liberals are really Nazis! [The Corner via Gawker]

Rich Lowry vs. Matt Latimer, this is so on! The ONE TIME Rich Lowry goes to work and puts on his bowler hat and three piece suit and pretends to be a newspaper-man, Matt Latimer, former Bush speechwriter/social chair of Mars’ douchiest fraternity, refuses to answer any of Lowry’s broadsheet journalism media questions! “Matt Latimer, isn’t the fact that you’re in a pederastic relationship with Donald Rumsfeld—and the fact that you’re currently helping him write his own memoir—call into question your favorable characterization of said human?” Lowry asked within the pages of his forgotten reactionary quarto, “Corner.” Now watch Matt Latimer defer to a mid-range Roomba named “Kevin Kellems.” MORE »

The brilliant political humans at National Review’s The Corner — the #1 Internet blog — are cold slappin’ high-fives and chuggin’ jars of Elmer’s glue because they are just so happy that the American president was unable to bring the biggest sporting event on earth, and a boon to the local economy of Chicago, to America. Thanks for trying, Obama — NOT. Get it?? Ha ha ha! Fuck you Obama you fuck! STIMULUS — FAIL. OLYMPICS — FAIL. HEALTH CARE — GAY. RACISM — FAIL. RUSSIA — FAIL. IRAN — FAIL. ENERGY — WORTHLESS. (Oh btw, Rio won. Congrats Rio!) [The Corner]

Linguistic smart-person Jay Nordlinger of National Review’s The Corner — the #1 Internet blog — sees the future, of words, in a post today: “It could be that conservatives will ‘own the insult’ and use ‘teabagger’ as a badge of honor. It could become some proud conservative N-word. President Reagan said, ‘I’m a contra, too.’ Well, I’m a teabagger too — and the Anderson Cooper types can [go jump in a lake]. Still, I find the word kind of sickening, and its rapid spread and acceptance even more sickening.” It’s Tuesday afternoon at The Corner! [The Corner]

Confused old person Sen. Chuck Grassley, who is two or three more annoying media turns away from finally getting booted from health care negotiations, has found another outlet receptive to his newfound bad-faith curmudgeonly psychobabble: National Review’s The Corner, the #1 blog on the Internet. In an interview with the site’s Robert Costa, “Grassley says ‘the jury is out’ on whether he might leave the negotiating table. ‘I’ll make a decision on walking away if it becomes clear that I can’t get a good agreement.’” Harumph! So let us ask, for the 850,000th time in six months, what in hell would be a “good agreement” for you, Chuck Grassley? MORE »

Remember that weird day earlier this week when famous wingnut pamphlet National Review made that bold anti-birther stand, saying it was really time to distance the once-respected conservative mag from the retard-right “Nobama’s the illegal alien” trailer-park circus? Well, ha ha, whoops, never mind: “On reflection, I think this was an ill-considered assertion.” And blam, four pages of Errg, where’s the long-term certification I heard that’s considerable different from short-stop computer certificates? Blacks can’t be president! [National Review]

It’s a good thing National Review isn’t a Real American business that need to make money or anything, because otherwise it would go broke after the outrageous decision by its libtard editors to publish a long, detailed and sane deconstruction of the Birther Conspiracy. Of course, none of the NRO cowards would dare sign their actual name to such an outrage against Ron Paul’s Constitution, so it’s just signed by “The Editors” — French for “le pussies.” Really, look at what these socialist zeroes are writing about Nobama: “Like Bruce Springsteen, he has a lot of bad political ideas; but he was born in the U.S.A.” MORE »

John Ensign, yep, he’s got the scandals. Oh and this Mark Sanford, yes, he is flying back and forth to Argentina to have sexytime with Ms. Not His Wife. Hmm, what other GOP 2012 name is plagued by “tabloid scandals” — the one who steals Neiman Marcus clothes and made a Sex Den for her teen-aged daughter and spends all her time yelling at a late-night talk show host? EXTRA HINT TO RICH “STARBURST” LOWRY: You cum in your slacks when you see her on the teevee. [The Corner]

Former George Bush Jr. press secretary and current Mark Penn employee (as part of the Microtrend “My Concubines”), Dana Perino, simply does not care for this Barack Obama going to a Muslim country and addressing Muslims directly as Muslims, because somehow being aware of various cultural backgrounds is a zero-sum game, and for every Muslim Barack Obama pays attention to, an old white pentecostal nut in northwest Georgia is forced to sit at the back of the bus. Or so she wrote on America’s Blog! MORE »