Wonkette

It seems that John Shea, editor of something called The American Reporter and Don Rickles doppelganger, got juuuuust a tetch testy among the press corps surrounding Mike Huckabee at the YouTube debate Wednesday night. He tried to pet teh Huckbeez’ Iowa-leading hair or something, but this whippersnapper of a campaign aide kept blocking him. So Shea took the high road and threw the aide to the ground as an awkward Huckbeez looked on. Video, after the jump. MORE »

Among the bigger shocks of last night’s Republican CNN/YouTube Debate was that much of the funny/shame didn’t come from the videos. L’Anderson made it clear from the outset that puppies, snowmen and butt plug submissions were categorically rejected, which we feel is racist or sexist or one of those other things people get angry about. As a result, it was up to the candidates to buoy the event’s cerebral expectations. Mitt Romney singlehandedly did that, with some of the densest douchebaggery we’ve seen in an election season more than rife with it. Otherwise: Giuliani — nothing new on the evil front; Fuckabee — very calm and cool, especially when talking about killing Hillary on Mars; Hunter/Tancredo — Securing the Mexican vote; Walnuts — Angry, depressed, grumpy, but kind of cute; Thompson — Bumblebees, tadpoles; Paul — Might actually be as stupid as his followers.

Oh but we exagg: Some video submissions were disgustingly enjoyable. After the jump, our top five, excluding the ones we posted last night or just forgot about. MORE »

Hour two of the YouTube Debate continues here, from here. More videos, more videos now, we want more videos, blah blah Paultards. MORE »

Why are you reading this? Why? Do you think my liveblogging, or anyone else’s, can possibly bring more funny than Republicans being asked dumbshit questions by inanimate objects — and then responding to them?? Just get out of here. Shimmy on now! My role is futile; I am a pawn among the divine, celestial humor forces that aligned to make this dream-debate a reality.

Joking! I will haz funny! I’ll make at least a billion zillion anal sex jokes!! Oh now you’ll stay? Eh, works for me. Start sharing drinking game suggestions right about… now. MORE »

Don’t forget to come back around 8:00 ET tonight to join Jim as he takes on the Herculean task of liveblogging tonight’s Republican Presidential debates! You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll realize why we at Wonkette drink so heavily. Join in the snark on the comment threads as the Republican candidates try to out-Republican one another until the smell of testosterone gets too overpowering and Anderson calls an end to the whole thing so they can all be alone.

I took this job for one reason and one reason only: The possibility of covering a CNN/YouTube Republican Debate. Tonight at 8 p.m., my dream will be fulfilled — unless CNN fucks it up again. Fortunately for this debate, we’ll have snowmen, golden retrievers and butt plugs asking the questions. Wolf Blitzer shall have no forum here. Anyway, I will be liveblogging (not emphasized enough? !LIVEBLOGGING!) tonight; pre-game show starts around 7:45, just as Lou Dobbs is strangling a few Mexicans on air.

How will this crop of videos turn out? Well these things are pretty hard to fuck up humor-wise, so let’s get to the real question: Will they choose Wonkette associate editor Megan Carpentier’s submission? That’s right — our Named Lobbyist captured a slanted beaver on the streets of DC, and Lordy, did it have a mouth! Megan’s submission, after the jump. MORE »