the blaze
The Blaze Just Asking: Did Imam’s One Weird Prayer Damn Navy Seals To Hell At Their Own Funeral?
You guys should go take a look at Ana Marie Wossername’s thinky piece about how the wingnut media doesn’t seem to have learned a damn thing from the failure of its “Obama Is Evil” narrative in the 2012 election. It’s pretty good, and we think this writer has a lot of potential. But we honestly [...]
Glenn Beck’s ‘The Blaze’ Asks Brave Question About Beyoncé’s ‘Illuminati Symbol’ During Halftime Show
Oh, sure, maybe you thought the real scandal about Beyoncé’s halftime show was all the gyrating and unladylike whorish dressing and near-hoo-ha hand motions, but that is because you are shallow. Yes we will say it. You are shallow to let yourself be distracted by these meaningless questions of whether Beyoncé was lip-synching or too [...]
Here Is Victoria Jackson Not Being Totally Mentally Ill About Als Gore And Jazeera
Our old pal Victoria Jackson has been kind of mentally ill on her Facebook page lately, so we did not make fun of her for it because SAD FACE. (We try not to make fun of the actually mentally ill, though we fucked up on that P-E-N-I-S lady, and we’re pretty torn about yesterdays gaysatanbuttbabies.) [...]
A Helpful Taxonomy Of Who Should Be Carrying Guns Around Children
In these heady days after a man committed a horrific mass murder of innocent children, it’s easy to think, “We would all be safer if everyone carried around big-ass rifles to protect against crime.” And it’s easy to think that because you’re a fucking AMERICAN who knows about every citizen’s right to presume that everyone [...]
Wingnuts Simply Do Not Care For Nancy Pelosi Answering Back To A Man
This is Nancy Pelosi, mom, grandma, Armani model, and once the most powerful woman in the nation. And here she is, flappin’ her gums about blah blah blah middle class blah blah blah who cares? Well, at some point during this period of time, when she is distinctly not making anyone a sandwich, Texas idiot [...]
Oops! Barack Obama’s Mom Forgot To ‘Change Him Back’ To An American
Wayne Root went to Columbia with Barack Obama, in the early ’80s and had the same major and everything … or did he? He says he doesn’t remember any such Barry Obama Soetoro person around campus! Though probably, as he tells Sean Hannity in this video, that was because Barry was too busy smoking weed [...]
‘The Blaze’ Writer, Headline Writer At Odds Over Thrill Quotient Of Possible Portman Pick
We feel fairly sure how whoever writes the headlines over at Glenn Beck’s The Blaze feels about a possible Rob Portman veep nod, what with their terrible intimation that nobody even knows who Rob Portman is. But how does the article about Rob Portman admitting he’s being vetted by the Romney camp frame the news? [...]
‘One Million Moms,’ Fresh Off Victory Over Ellen Degeneres, Has New Lesbos In Sights
Two chicks are totally macking hard in Urban Outfitters’ new catalog, and the funtime gals over at “One Million Moms” are having a total ladyboner! You may remember One Million Moms for their yeoman’s service in getting laughed at by Ellen Degeneres for all the world to see, but they are not just taking their [...]
Glenn Beck’s Website Reveals NPR Lunch Video Was Edited To Ruin NPR
Whenever that James O’Keefe guy puts out another heavily edited video against some liberal bogeyman, both the White House and the Washington/New York media quickly fire everyone involved — because the only rational way to deal with claims made by partisan pranksters is to simply punish anyone targeted. That’s why Shirley Sherrod was immediately fired [...]
Glenn Beck’s Fanzine Criticizes Obama For Stealing Glenn’s Chalkboard
America needs blue balls, not red balls, according to this new video the White House put up today featuring new Obama economic bro Austan Goolsbee. According to their blog, this whiteboard video approach is something they’re going to do from now on, because Americans are dumb and visual aids are the only thing they can [...]
Costume-Wearer Glenn Beck Tells Teabaggers To Stop Wearing Costumes
Glenn Beck is going on his radio and teevee shows and asking Teabaggers to stop wearing dumb dead historical figures costumes at rallies, and Teabaggers are calling in very angry about this. “What’s more effective, you as Betsy Ross or you as somebody who looks just like their neighbor, not dressed as Betsy Ross?” he [...]
Glenn Beck Launches Beatnik Wordplay Site
“Glenn Beck,” a longtime collaborative performance art project run by a team of situationist pranksters, has moved into its next phase! Not content with posting dadaist nonsense on the GlennBeck.com URL — so on the nose! — the team acquired TheBlaze.com (the name refers to the power of flame to cleanse away man’s attempt to [...]
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