the 47 percent
Dear Hero 47% Dude: Please Do Not Go To Law School
This week the man behind the video that completely disproved any thesis that Mitt Romney was capable of human emotions other than wrath and hatred went inside of Ed Schultz’s grizzly cave and self-doxxed. The world finally was able to put a name and a face to the man whose videotaping skilz accomplished more than [...]
Funmeister Newt Gingrich Says GOP Needs To Be A ‘Happy Party’
Hey, GOP sad sacks! Fun-time Newt Gingrich has a nifty idea for you all to become way more popular! Instead of being a bunch of Grumpy Gusses, why not reach out to everyday Americans and “be a happy party”? And if anyone knows how to be happy, it’s the guy who is so averse to [...]
Recovering Weirdo Congressbum Thaddeus McCotter Wrote A Short Story! It’s Not Very Good!
Greetings, prose-act nation, and welcome to Doktor Zoom’s Fanfic Corner. Today, we’ll be sampling some awesome fan fiction from around the web. Our first selection is from a site that doesn’t usually run fanfic, Tucker Carlson’s Internet Tendency. It’s by aspiring TV sitcom writer and Tea Party rockmeister Thad McCotter, whose author tag describes him [...]
Ann Romney Worries About Mitt’s Brain Parts If He’s Elected
Ann Romney is just plain baiting the Professional Comedy Industry now, isn’t she? Over the weekend, she said in an interview that if her servo-mechanical partner becomes President, her “biggest concern, obviously, would just be for his mental well-being.” We share Egg’s concerns. No one wants to see the President of 53 Percent of the [...]
Host for Romney’s ‘Half Of America Can Get Bent’ Speech Is Big Fan Of Sexxytime Pool Parties
So it turns out that Mother Jones reporter David Corn has now identified the location and date of that fundraiser where Willard Mittensbjørn Rømney proclaimed that he has no use for 47% of the American people because they are irresponsible layabouts who are so addicted to the government teat that they will of course support [...]
Video: Mitt Romney Really, Really (Really) Does Not Care For You People
It starts out fairly anodyne — Ol’ Miffed Romney talking to his base. (Not “the” base of uncouth teatards, his base of Lehmann Bros. execs or the like.) But very soon, he becomes … what is the word? Unhinged? Yes, unhinged. Because people think they are “entitled” to not starve in the streets of America. [...]
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