Barack Obama stands one-hundred feet tall and is made of golden chocolate. So his magical transition podium is a sky-high phallic monument to his greatness and tallness, so all the short ladies he keeps appointing to his Cabinet, for laughs, all look like that terrible Martian from the Flintstones (?!) cartoons with the bug antennae coming out of his fat head. [Gawker]

Here’s “gotcha journalist” Katie Couric getting quizzed by TMZ about her reading habits. She says the same exact thing that Sarah Palin said (”all of them, any of them”), except she says it to be funny. HOW DISRESPECTFUL. Katie also says she reads The Economist for the articles, and for the monthly compendium of slightly ribald jokes about oversexed blondes which she likes to tell at cocktail parties while John McCain is off raping gorillas. [TMZ via Ben Smith]

Nobody is allowed to talk about lipstick and various animals you would put it on, unless you are Sarah Palin. For example, when Barack Obama was talking about the Republican health care plan and called it “putting lipstick on a pig,” this was obviously a Sexist and demeaning SMEAR against the vice presidential candidate, who already made it clear that she was a bloodthirsty and vicious dog, not a cuddly, sensitive, intelligent little pig. Barack Obama needs to confine his language to simple one-syllable words and not use elitist compound nouns anyhow. [Political Punch]

OLD LIBERAL LADY HATES OBAMA: Geraldine Ferraro, the horrible old woman who made history in 1984 by giving Ronald Reagan 49 of 50 states, continues her winning streak today by telling the NYT she probably won’t vote for Obama in November because she’s racist he’s, uh, “sexist.” [Real Clear Politics]

“Former U.S. Treasury Secretary Larry Summers warned that the United States may be heading into recession.” [Telegraph]