The FCC has announced a bold new socialist plan to provide wireless Internet all over America, for free! But it won’t have any pr0n, so Americans won’t actually use this free gift. Also, it will be hella slow, as it will be operated by wireless companies forced to do so, by the government, and in competition with the for-profit porn Internet wireless service, which will be super fast. [Silicon Valley Insider/Wall Street Journal]

Ugh. Why do we even post such things? Breaking News, etc., that’s why! So do us a favor, commenters, and try to control yourselves, show some class, &c., unless Mukasey has specifically done something personally horrible to you. We have no useful update, to this old dude just falling over and people shouting OH MY GOD JESUS CHRIST CALL SOMEBODY. He is in the hospital somewhere in/around Washington.

Ha ha, remember back in that debate when Barack Obama was asked how he can represent change if his advisors are a bunch of Billary cronies, and Hillary laughed at him meanly, and he said, “I’m looking forward to you advising me too, Hillary”? He wasn’t lying. He has decided to reconstruct the entire foul Clinton repository of hacks, brick by brick, until his presidency culminates in a hasty under-the-desk blow job from a fat chick. Many Obama supporters find this objectionable! MORE »

Hey, bitters, Sarah Palin is just like you! Except for the $150,000 Saks and Neiman-Marcus shopping sprees, we mean, and the $4,000 haircut. McCain’s campaign spent this huge pile of cash — more than what all but the richest Americans earn in a whole year — immediately after choosing Palin’s name from a hat filled with all the names of people who were registered Republicans, in America. Who knew she only owned shabby Alaskan tanning-salon outfits! She needed to be properly dressed and accessorized, to create those “starbursts” from the nutsacks of wingnuts. MORE »