Mark Sanford has been thinking awhile about this whole Joe Wilson thing, which really, if you think about it, makes sense to think about in terms of Sanford’s extramarital affair. (Lows by any other name!) Here is Sanford, giving some interview in South Carolina and just owning sixth grade’s most savvy rhetorical move: “The guy apologized, and then you can have a bunch of other people come back and say, ‘We want you to apologize again and again and again.’” Sympathy by the transitive property! There’s more: MORE »

Hey remember Mark Sanford’s affair? Well, Mark Sanford certainly does, and he would like to take this opportunity to implore you to just GET OVER IT. In fact, he will be publicly reminding everyone of his own Argentinian extramarital sparkin’ thing until America decides to just grow up and forget it already. But you know, while we’re on the subject of Mark Sanford, Mark Sanford has a few ideas about some helpful metaphors everyone can use in dealing with this whole “Mark Sanford situation”:  “Everybody is assigned their own secret-agent mission in life. And at times the tricky part, the hard part, is finding out what that secret-agent mission is. Some of us do it early, some of us do it later in life.” MORE »

South Carolina, what a poop pile, right? It is no wonder the governor, Mark Sanford, never wants to spend any time in that goddamned place. Have you ever been down there? It is this awful fetid swamp, most of it consisting of nuclear waste dumps (in the rivers!), and one-in-five adults are jobless, forever, when things are “good.” Really, who can blame Sanford for wanting to jet all over the world all the time, banging rich latinas? He’ll even go on European Holiday with his hated wife and children, anything to get the hell out of South Carolina. MORE »