With the West Coast polls closed and Obama already holding 220, including Virginia … well, you can count, even if you’re very wasted right now. California has 55 electoral votes, Washington state has 11, Hawaii has 4, and Oregon has 7. You can add that to 220 electoral votes CNN says he has right now. We have a new president. His name is Barack Obama.

“We don’t have polling places in Oregon,” writes Wonkette operative Katie A., “So here’s our election day celebration cake.” Look at this cake, people. It was made by Katie and Chris H., in Oregon, where they are too poor to have polling places, so everyone mails in their ballots. And yet, even with such hard times, they’ve made this beautiful Obama sex cake. And now let’s see your polling pictures. MORE »

Hello people of the Western States. To keep things “pure,” your editor has not read the previous liveblogs, so this whole song-and-dance will be new. We missed John McCain on the Larry King Show,, too. But we saw Ron Paul on Rachel Maddow’s show! Let’s see what’s going on, and try to justify this weird three-zone liveblogging. MORE »

We had a hard time watching the whole thing, and this is our job. Did 63.2 million people — 66 million if you count elitist PBS viewers — really watch that dull sleepytime debate last night? That’s what the ratings company claims. Even more people (70 million!) watched the Palin-Biden debate, because hey, that Tina Fey is quite the comedienne! Sadly for the networks, the desperate voters who watched last night’s Obama-McCain show don’t have any money to buy any consumer items, so there were no commercials to pay for the teevee rays which are beamed from space at great expense to every room in America. [Live Feed]

Oh hell here is your dumb graphic that you have already seen on a million Left-wing Liberal Media Blogs this morning, because why not. Only other news is our little subprime mortgage meltdown suddenly becoming a world-devouring financial virus that has ushered in a Global Panic, so we hope you have been hoarding your pinto beans and corn husks! They are all you will have to eat for the next five (5) years. But hey what about that time John McCain sort of half-gestured in Barack Obama’s direction and called him “that disrespectful colored”? Hilarious! ["That One" 08]

Here it is again, my friends. It is also here. And here’s the fun entire debate, via C-SPAN, after the jump. MORE »