Wonkette

While we’re having Thanksgiving this week, our ex-overlords in Britain are losing tax records:

[British Finance Minister Alistair] Darling was yesterday forced to explain to lawmakers how two unencrypted disks containing records of 7.3 million families claiming child-benefit payments had gone missing from the tax authority, which is overseen by the Treasury. The loss, the largest of its kind in U.K. history, lays open the 25 million people named in the data to the risk of fraud and theft. (emphasis ours)

LOLengland. This is what you get for taxing our fucking tea and stamps. [Bloomberg]

The Washington Post did two interesting things today: Columnist Ruth Marcus ripped Paul Krugman a new one, and a turkey was interviewed. We will focus on the latter. MORE »

People on the road and in hotels for Thanksgiving tomorrow are sure to check out USA Today en masse, because that’s just what you do when you’re on the road. As they happily skim through the usual 50-word pieces about new breast cancer research (and 10 billion accompanying pie charts), a full page ad of unusual arrogance, misplaced enthusiasm and opaque references to our Founding Fathers will get in their way. That’s right: The Paultard virus has somehow affected the printing presses of USA Today and will insert a full-page ad (PDF) into tomorrow’s edition. Discuss.

George W. Bush pardoned a turkey in the White House Rose Garden today, upholding a very important 60-year tradition. The turkeys are called May and Flower because of a famous boat. From the White House they’ll head to that other bastion of American evil, Mickey’s Country House in Walt Disney World’s Magic Kingdom. They are expected to eat Mickey Mouse at some point in their lives. [CNN]

* Heard on the Hill: Lieberman’s new flack: hack-of-all-trades Marhsall “Bullshit Moose” Whittmann. Only problem: he’s a Republican and Senator WALNUTS McCain’s strongest supporter. And he’s one helluva media whore… The Starbucks on New Jersey and E has this “customer testimonial” from “Timothy H., congressional page:” “When I bought a case of Starbucks coffee, the text messages stopped coming” … Former Tom Daschle flack starts Pro-Obama website, emails everyone on Hill about it… Katherine Harris news: “She’s sitting at home plotting her future and secretly hoping (praying?) that Vern’s election is overturned so that she can run again in ‘08,” former Harris staffer says. Please, Jesus. [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: The Youth of Today! Or, like a couple years ago: Gen X’ers in positions of mostly-ceremonial power! Rep. Adam Putnam, Aged 8! Some Rep.-elect named “Kirsten!” [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Esther Coopersmith holds a Thanksgiving Party for diplomats. Some of us just went to Galaxy Hut and sang karaoke, but that sounds cool too… A fond look back at the US before Iraq: Get Rich Or Die Tryin’ topped the charts, America thrilled to Eugene Levy’s embarrassing white-guy-rapping gimmick in Bringing Down the House. Truly a more innocent time… Senator whose state loves her the most: Olympia Snowe… Bob Novak went to the Panthers game with a young lady, didn’t have a very good time. [Examiner]
* Page Six: NY AG-elect Andrew Cuomo hired Clinton FBI head/Whitewater obsessive Louis Freeh. [NYP]

* The all too brief time we’ll get to spend with Shelly “DraculaCunt” Gibs.
* Turkeys that attack the crotch that feeds them.
* Education Secretary Margaret Spellings and the fact that she couldn’t turn her brain “up to 11,” on Celebrity Jeopardy.
* The trademark chaos that follows the Bush family, young and old and older, everywhere they go.
* The lessons we learned from paperless reporter Karen Feld, even though she assigns a lot of homework.
* Newly paperless Jim VandeHei and John Harris, whose new multi-platform political reporting venture will surely BLOW OUR MINDS.
* That the State Department’s Protocol Office has a sense of humor after all.
* Lou Dobbs, who’s going to save us from the Mexicans, just as soon as he finds his toupee.
* Small town reporters who aren’t afraid to tell it like it is.
* Finally, our undying gratitude goes to Late Night Shots, without whom we might still be wasting time with “hope” for the future of America.

When we last heard from our secret correspondent battling the robot-anal forces of the government, Nadine blew the whistle on “soul murdered political families,” vampires, “Ted Haggert” and the increasingly disturbing “stomach terrorists.”

On this Thanksgiving weekend, we shall learn of many more tragic and horrible things: death threats, “nuts and sluts” and M Day — “M day is for dead people.”

With the president of Russia poisoning dissident journalists in England and the usual lie-filled anniversary of JFK’s assassination — the U.S. House Select Committee on Assassinations concluded in 1979 that Kennedy’s murder was the result of a conspiracy — we find Nadine’s dispatches to be only slightly stranger than the actual news. Sadly, Nadine’s previously impeccable typing has somewhat deteriorated. See for yourself, after the jump.

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* Iraq yesterday saw “the single deadliest assault on Iraqi civilians since the start of the U.S.-led invasion in March 2003.” [WP, NYT, LAT]
* President Bush calls 10 US service members to wish them “Happy Thanksgiving.” [WP]
* Democrats will have a hard time delivering on their promise to lower Medicare costs, as the program is already so efficient and great. [NYT, WSJ]
* In the face of serious risk, government whistle blowers blow on. [USAT]
* The Iraqinamization has begun. [LAT]
* Not that it will give them the slightest pause, but parents who buy designer luxury goods for their “tweens” will face higher taxes this year. [USA Today, LAT]

* Nancy Pelosi: the most powerful American in history whose name ends in a vowel. [Echidne of the Snakes]
* McCain and Lieberman to run together on Jowlicrat ticket in ‘08. [Tapped]
* Washington Post holds true to old time journalism values, like blowing the boss to get ahead. [Hullabaloo]
* Republican cartoon paranoia rears its intricately modeled CG head. [C&L, HuffPo]
* Indonesian witch doctor tries to take credit for Bush family’s trademark chaos. [Boozhy]
* Would you like white or dark dinosaur meat? [Daily Kos]

On this Thanksgiving Eve, we want to remind Americans that all presidents look like twits during the annual Turkey Pardon Photo Op. Here’s Harry Truman, reportedly forced by the National Turkey Federation to start the dumb tradition, thus ensuring that other popular Thanksgiving main courses of the time — ham, roast beast, parsnips, etc. — would fall by the wayside. The Turkey Industry was the Jack Abramoff of 1947.

So many more, after the jump.

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Even a simple ESPN Thanksgiving poll becomes a recount clusterfuck in Florida, where “the meal” and “friends and family” are tied for “best part of Thanksgiving.” MORE »

He doesn’t much care for pardoning humans, but George W. has once again taken part in the tired, joyless tradition of releasing a pair of gruesomely obese turkeys that were specifically bred to be eaten. MORE »

There are many things to be thankful for, as William S. Burroughs makes all too clear in this inspirational Thanksgiving Prayer from 1986. MORE »