WASHINGTON, DC, 10:04 AM, FRI SEPTEMBER 5 | tips@wonkette.com | SUBMIT A TIP | RSS

Posts Tagged ‘thanksgiving’

McCain, Lindsey Graham: Lovers?

Monday, November 26th, 2007

and by 'went to iraq' i mean 'had bum bum parties' John McCain’s latest e-mail came from… Senator Lindsey Graham! Apparently Graham joined his Mexican-loving colleague on his trip to Iraq for Thanksgiving, where the two wined and dined on some local fresh market fruit, said heya to the troops, maybe did each other a little bit. Too immature? Just look at that love letter! Oh my, these here boys and their Latino-spicy burrito love.


Edwards Pulling Ahead In the Race for Hotness, Too

Friday, November 23rd, 2007

Yum.It is normally hard for a candidate not to look kinda silly doing his/her obligatory Thanksgiving charity work/photo op. John Edwards, here, schools the others. His tips: don’t wear a suit; wear well-fitting jeans that don’t look starched or not previous worn; have excellent posture; use less product than normal in your hair; do something manlier than serving food; look as though you’re annoyed by the publicity; and be smoking hot. Yum. [Photo courtesy of the Associated Press]


Cartoon Violence Is In A Tryptophan Coma

Friday, November 23rd, 2007

Each week, the Comics Curmudgeon helps explain Today’s Cartoons.

America: What are you thankful for? If you’re reading this blog instead of enjoying some relaxing time with your family, you may be one of the damned souls forced to work on the Friday after Thanksgiving, and thus may not be thankful for much of anything. Conversely, you may hate your family with a seething, burning passion and may be glad to be locked in your room and surfing the Web rather than interacting with them any further (and by “interacting with them”, we mean “finally breaking down and strangling them all”). We at Cartoon Violence are thankful for things, too, obviously. For instance, we’re thankful for the timeless, comforting rhythms of the holiday season, the little rituals that ground us in tradition in this all-too-fast modern world. And, as you’ll see after the jump, any number of political cartoonists are thankful for these traditions too, because they get to use them as an excuse to draw elf corpses and Rudy Giuliani’s grotesquely swollen head. MORE »


Britain Loses Tax Data of 25 Million Redcoats

Wednesday, November 21st, 2007

whoop that trickWhile we’re having Thanksgiving this week, our ex-overlords in Britain are losing tax records:

[British Finance Minister Alistair] Darling was yesterday forced to explain to lawmakers how two unencrypted disks containing records of 7.3 million families claiming child-benefit payments had gone missing from the tax authority, which is overseen by the Treasury. The loss, the largest of its kind in U.K. history, lays open the 25 million people named in the data to the risk of fraud and theft. (emphasis ours)

LOLengland. This is what you get for taxing our fucking tea and stamps. [Bloomberg]


WaPo Really Phoning It In Before Thanksgiving

Wednesday, November 21st, 2007

first realization: dana milbank is a guy. second realization: dana milbank is a tom turkey.The Washington Post did two interesting things today: Columnist Ruth Marcus ripped Paul Krugman a new one, and a turkey was interviewed. We will focus on the latter. MORE »


Paultards Seize USA Today!

Wednesday, November 21st, 2007

...People on the road and in hotels for Thanksgiving tomorrow are sure to check out USA Today en masse, because that’s just what you do when you’re on the road. As they happily skim through the usual 50-word pieces about new breast cancer research (and 10 billion accompanying pie charts), a full page ad of unusual arrogance, misplaced enthusiasm and opaque references to our Founding Fathers will get in their way. That’s right: The Paultard virus has somehow affected the printing presses of USA Today and will insert a full-page ad (PDF) into tomorrow’s edition. Discuss.


Bush Pardons Turkey, As Per Usual

Tuesday, November 20th, 2007

the iraq war is also currently happeningGeorge W. Bush pardoned a turkey in the White House Rose Garden today, upholding a very important 60-year tradition. The turkeys are called May and Flower because of a famous boat. From the White House they’ll head to that other bastion of American evil, Mickey’s Country House in Walt Disney World’s Magic Kingdom. They are expected to eat Mickey Mouse at some point in their lives. [CNN]


Gossip Roundup: Kitty’s Revenge

Monday, November 27th, 2006

* Heard on the Hill: Lieberman’s new flack: hack-of-all-trades Marhsall “Bullshit Moose” Whittmann. Only problem: he’s a Republican and Senator WALNUTS McCain’s strongest supporter. And he’s one helluva media whore… The Starbucks on New Jersey and E has this “customer testimonial” from “Timothy H., congressional page:” “When I bought a case of Starbucks coffee, the text messages stopped coming” … Former Tom Daschle flack starts Pro-Obama website, emails everyone on Hill about it… Katherine Harris news: “She’s sitting at home plotting her future and secretly hoping (praying?) that Vern’s election is overturned so that she can run again in ‘08,” former Harris staffer says. Please, Jesus. [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: The Youth of Today! Or, like a couple years ago: Gen X’ers in positions of mostly-ceremonial power! Rep. Adam Putnam, Aged 8! Some Rep.-elect named “Kirsten!” [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Esther Coopersmith holds a Thanksgiving Party for diplomats. Some of us just went to Galaxy Hut and sang karaoke, but that sounds cool too… A fond look back at the US before Iraq: Get Rich Or Die Tryin’ topped the charts, America thrilled to Eugene Levy’s embarrassing white-guy-rapping gimmick in Bringing Down the House. Truly a more innocent time… Senator whose state loves her the most: Olympia SnoweBob Novak went to the Panthers game with a young lady, didn’t have a very good time. [Examiner]
* Page Six: NY AG-elect Andrew Cuomo hired Clinton FBI head/Whitewater obsessive Louis Freeh. [NYP]