thanksgiving

Welcome to yet another Derp Roundup, the weekly feature where we hose off our browser and serve up a cocktail of stories that were too stoopid to ignore altogether, but not quite worth a full post of their own. We’ll start with a seasonal sampling of the War On Christmas, with American Patriarchy Association president […]

Tea Party Nation president Judson Philips, the genius who had a cunning plan to use the Constitution to subvert the 2012 election (except it was unconstitutional), has tired of comparing Obamacare to Nazi Germany, so instead, he’s now comparing it to rape. Next week, maybe Obamacare will be the Ebola virus. Philips emailed the group’s […]

We guess Barack Obama must have mentioned God in his Thanksgiving proclamation this year, since we haven’t seen a million angry blog posts bitching about it. (And there it is — “we rise or fall as one Nation, under God” — a blatant attempt to make up for his Gettysburg libel, too.*) Thankfully, even if […]

It’s Thanksgiving Day, so as we gather together with (or hide from) our families, however functional or dysfunctional they may be, let us remember the true meaning of any American holiday: It’s an opportunity to pound home a political lesson about why We Are Good and They Are Bad. It’s a revered grim tradition: You […]

We began posting this Thanksgiving Prayer by William S. Burroughs and Gus Van Sant back in 2006, and a lot of things have changed since then. We cannot possibly hope to match the grim depths of the 2010 / 2011 iterations of the prayer, so we know better than to even make the attempt. But […]

Enjoy this Wonkette Holiday Classic recipe all over again, as though The Gipper was still wandering around somewhere: Whatever the hell “monkey bread” might be — something racist, we assume — it was the thing our favorite first lady Nancy Reagan was known to “cook,” at Thanksgiving or whatever. For America, and for Ronnie! Delight […]

Here, back on the Front Page for the first time since 2009, is Juli Weiner’s famous embloggening of Mamie Eisenhower’s Jello Fanstasia in the Key of E: Here is your bit of “DC gossip” for the day: a Jell-O dessert recipe, for the holiday of Thanksgiving! It is Mamie Eisenhower’s famed Red Scare Thanksgiving Jell-o […]

Important National Review Online pundit Kathryn Jean Lopez only really gets excited twice a year: When she makes up another excuse to get people to send her a bunch of porn, and when Thanksgiving comes around so she can post a Real American recipe involving ten smashed-up anus burgers stuck up the body cavity of […]

Who can forget this classic Thanksgiving liquor cake recipe from First Lady Betty Ford? Our dearly departed Juli Weiner wrote this up several Thanksgivings ago, and we still reprint it every year, even though now she makes Harry Potter slash fiction photo-comics for Vanity Fair: Here is one for the “chocoholics,” starring Betty Ford! It’s […]

The following is our annual repost of Ken Layne’s Real Cranberry Business, because when we bought this bitch we bought the archives too. One hundred and seventy two years from now, “Ken Layne” will be retelling his cranberry business recipe … from the grave!

Twitter is, of course, the place where people go to embarrass themselves in public. That’s just part of the day-to-day background noise. Throw in a national holiday, and you get all sorts of beautiful new opportunities to be an ass. Case in point, this tweet from conservative intellectual powerhouse Dinesh D’Souza, who’s thankful that America […]

Fact: Conservatives are not very good at doing funny. Sure, they try. And fail. And if you don’t get the joke, you’re probably just some politically correct overly sensitive something-or-other. Or maybe, just maybe, it is because conservatives are not very good at doing the funny. Exhibit eleventeen trillion for your consideration: Heritage Foundation’s new […]

One of these days, a modern-day Charles Dickens is going to write A Christmas Carol for our times, and it will be based on this story of a Walmart in Ohio, where employees organized “a food drive – not for the community, but for needy workers.” Total Dickens, right? The noble poor (broken of body […]

Welcome to a Very Special Armistice Day Edition of Derp Roundup, our weekly accumulation of arglebargle that was too stoopid to ignore altogether, but not quite enough to do a full post on. Let’s ring in the Derp with this bit o’ conspiracy theorizin’: Mitt Romney mighta won the 2012 election if only that power-mad […]

With Halloween behind us, there is a crisp, fresh feeling in the air. The kind of feeling that can only mean one thing: time to start capitalizing on other people’s deeply held religi-political beliefs to rake in boatloads of cash. Up in the sky, with a sleigh being pulled by flying caribou, is our favorite […]