Wonkette

• Rove’s been telling his candidates he’s got an “October surprise” to put them over the top. We sure hope he can find Bin Laden in the next 9 days. [Newsmax]

• New political-networking sites enjoy idea-exchanging utopia, have not yet devolved into “Democratic lady looks for hot night with Republican stud.” [Washington Wire]
• All good Democracies know that in order to survive you have to kick someone’s ass, or become someone’s bitch. [Whiskey Bar]
• In case you forgot, Housing and Urban Development is still the most corrupt government agency not based at the Pentagon. [The Carpetbagger Report]
• Bill Clinton endorses “whacking” terror suspects in lieu of torture. [The Swamp]
• Proof that nobody has ever voluntarily left a job to “spend more time with family.” [Outside The Beltway]
• Republicans plan for Ahmadinejad-Chavez barnstorming tour to support Bush’s national security plans as, “no one makes a more compelling case than the duo of Mahmoud and Hugo.” [Scrappleface]

• Bush addresses UN General Assembly, wants to embrace a peace-loving Iran, avoids Ahmadinejad like he had the enriched uranium in his pocket. [WP, NYT, LAT, W$J]

• White House “blinks” in stand-off with McCain’s gang, torture bill being revised. [NYT]
• Troop levels in Iraq not going down in 2006, could go up. [WP]
• Iraqi Prime Minister Nuri Kamal al-Maliki at least partially to blame for that. [NYT]
• Laura Bush “is the most popular Republican in the country right now.” [WP]
• Seemingly bloodless coup in Thailand threatens young democracy, stalwart sex trade unaffected, thanks for asking. [W$J]
• An Iraqi reporter chillingly laments the lack of good Samaritans in his Baghdad neighborhood. [LAT]
• Aerospace giant Boeing wins multi-billion dollar contract for border security in spite of the massive fuck-ups with its luggage screening work. [WP]
• George Allen figures a little extra ethnicity couldn’t hurt, embraces Jewish roots. [WP]

While we want to make it very clear that “revoking the constitution and promising a swift return to democracy after political reforms” is the coup d’etat equivalent of “I swear to god I was wearing a condom,” Thailand’s remarkably bloodless coup will hopefully serve as an example of how to fix a sick government. MORE »

Many thanks to Thailand for being the first country to take steps against the epidemic of out-of-wedlock panda births. The Thai zoo’s two pandas are presumed to start mating soon, “But the zoo wanted them to be married first.” Of course. Single-panda motherhood is well known to be the root cause of rising panda unemployment and high crime rates in panda neighborhoods. Did you know that in America, there are more pandas in zoos than in college? Look at what’s going on with our own poor bastard Butterstick: Has a deadbeat dad living off the state and he’s an immigrant whose been here for ten years and he still doesn’t speak English. Without a traditional family, a young panda will look elsewhere for their role models, and, you know, recruiting Butterstick is probably right at the top of the gay penguin agenda. MORE »