Tag: thad cochran

No, Waddles, don't read this!

I Say, Old Bean, Did British Prime Minister Do Sex Things To A Dead Pig?

There are a lot of weird dumb stories about American politicians and their bad behavior. But we're pretty sure that none is likely to top this alleged story about British Prime Minister David Cameron, who allegedly put his peener...

Pat Robertson Still Worried You’re Gonna Gay-Bang Your Dog

We figured televangelist scamster Pat Robertson would have been raptured by now, what with the Gaypocalypse and all. But nah, he is making words, still, on the teevee, with his 213-year-old senile talking hole. Sure, they are mostly nonsense...
Just being a good Christian

Your 2014 Legislative Sh*tmuffin (National Division): Oh Right It’s Ted Cruz For A Change

2014 was the year when Senator Ted Cruz (R-Alberta) officially renounced his Canadian citizenship and became a true American. It was also the year when Cruz made his first successful title defense of Wonkette's coveted Legislative Shitmuffin of the...
Bobby Jindal offers his exorcism skills

Maybe Steve Scalise Had Excellent Reasons For Talking To A Hate Group, You Never Know

We're still passing the popcorn around while we watch House Majority Whip Steve Scalise's political career implode over the news that he spoke to a white supremacist group run by David Duke in 2002. We're still at that early...
Thad Cochran, dwarfed by his own hands, celebrates his primary win

Chuck C. Johnson Decries Lack of Deathbed Apology From Rose Cochran

Rose Cochran, the wife of Mississippi Republican Sen. Thad Cochran, died at a hospice facility in Ridgeland, Mississippi, Friday at the age of 73. She had been at the center of one of the most bizarre episodes of the 2014...
I see fraud people -- everywhere!

Chris McDaniel’s Lawyer Fingers Himself

Mississippi sore loserman Chris McDaniel's team just KNOWS that the June 24 Senate primary vote was rigged against him, and so it has been combing all the voting records to list every possible "irregular" vote and insisting they be...
Monkey court! Dog and Pony show!

An Amicus Brief For Award-Winning Journalist Chuck C. Johnson By The Wonket Legal Team Of Idiots

Wonket Legal has been alerted to a possible threat to the freedom of dumb speech (which, while distinguished from non-dumb speech, is still a kind of speech). Charles C. Johnson, Mississippi's award-winning reporter on the nursing home break-in beat, has been ordered by a...

We Are Starting To Think The Mississippi Republican Senate Race Might Be A Bit Of A Clusterfuque

Let us take a quick peek at the ongoing clusterfuck that is the race to be the Republican Senate nominee from Mississippi, which has already brought us so many laughs. There was Tea Party candidate Chris McDaniel playing footsie...
Actual picture of Chris McDaniel

Sore Loserman Chris McDaniel Demands Mississippi GOP Give Him Senate Seat, Because

Remember that time waaaaay back in June when Mississippi Republicans had a Senate primary race, and the teabagger favorite, state Sen. Chris McDaniel -- who sure is an interesting fella with really nice, totally-not-racist supporters -- lost to sitting...

Ted Cruz Simply Does Not Care For All These Black People Voting Republican

Smirking asshat Ted Cruz brought his inimitable gravitas to the Mississippi Senate primary (on the day that the vote was certified by the state's Republican party, naturally), agreeing with losing loser Chris McDaniel that there's no way Thad Cochran...

You Will Never Believe This, You Guys, But Chris McDaniel Supporters Might Be Racist

Let's just wander over and check in on the ongoing car crash train wreck that is the Mississippi Senate race, shall we? Did Chris McDaniel ever even concede? If he did, his own supporters would probably tear him limb...

Totally Rational Behavior: Glenn Beck Shoots Things So He Feels Better About Chris McDaniel’s Loss

We knew there would be some maximum sadmad from the super-right about Chris McDaniel's loss in the Mississippi Senate primary to Thad Cochran on Tuesday, a loss only made possible by meddling black people, and we really should have...

Chris McDaniel Pretty Sure Zombie Ronald Reagan Doesn’t Think Thad Cochran Won

We stayed up late last night just to make sure we could maximize our intake of sweet Tea Party tears over Chris McDaniel losing the GOP primary to incumbent Mississippi Senator Thad Cochran. McDaniel had proved to be a...

Mississippi Teabaggers Will Be On Lookout For Scary Negro Voters In Primary Runoff

Tomorrow is the runoff election for the Great Mississippi Ratfuck -- aka the Republican Senate Primary -- between Terrible Old Clueless Thad Cochran and up-and-coming neoconfederate grifterweasel Chris McDaniel. Needless to say, it's managing to remain horrible right up...

Derp Roundup: Jenna Bush Has A Posse — And They’re Big Jerk Babies

Welcome to another edition of Derp Roundup, the feature where we bring you the very best of the worst detritus that's clung to our browser tabs all week. We find the stories that are too short for a full...

‘Sad Thad’ Cochran Reminisces About Simple Joys Of Childhood, Like Sexing Animals

Well gosh darn it, Thad Cochran, you are just a good ol' fountain of fine video clips today, now aren't you? First we see that you have no idea who this "House Majority Leader" fella is who lost his...