Wonkette

Yesterday the Internets revealed that a vendor at the Texas state GOP convention was selling dumb racist buttons. So today the state party sent out a sternly worded press release letting everybody know that Hate has no place in the Party of Lincoln: “This vendor [of the goofy button pictured left] need not apply to another Texas G.O.P. State Convention. The proceeds from their booth space will be donated to charity. We will tolerate nor profit from bigotry,” said Hans Klingler, a spokesman. We hope that NAMBLA appreciates all the hot dollars it gets from the terrible vendor’s forfeited booth proceeds. Full press release after the jump. MORE »

Oh, Texas Republicans, you are always so funny. Here is a fun button worn by everyone at the Texas GOP convention. When not making hilarious rape jokes, Texas Republicans like to make jokes about ambitious coloreds. [America Blog]

Big John Cornyn had to speak at a convention,
Oh my, what to say, with all that attention!
He queried his staff, they dwelled on the matter,
‘Til finally they settled on iambic quadrameter!
“A cowboy to narrate! Some bales of hay!”
Then Cornyn responded, “but isn’t that gay?”
“Nay” said his staffers, “It’s rugged, and tough!
It’s hard-working and white; you’ll look crazy buff!”
So Cornyn agreed and they made this video,
It’s shockingly gay; they thought it was witty yo!
Dear god, it’s hilarious, to a cosmic degree,
‘Cause this is what happens when egos run free.

[Burnt Orange Report]

THIS JUST IN, HOT FROM THE E-MAIL PROGRAM: Ron Paul has something to say tonight hooray. You can watch it at Justin’s TV or whatever. What will he be Announcing? MORE »

This weekend, two very exciting things happened in Austin, Texas. Pinko communist Democrats held their state convention, and the governor’s mansion burned into a tragic, crispy crust. Could the two events be related? Let’s examine the “evidence” behind one possible explanation for the calamity: a drunken visiting Democrat left a burning bag of human feces on the (Republican) governor’s doorstep, never guessing the historic building was one vast, uninhabited fire hazard in search of a flame. MORE »

We’ve all grown up with Jenna, and … well, whatever, she got married, and even though we’ve mocked her plenty — because her dad is a douche — we will say today that she looks lovely, and was a very fetching bride, and sorry about how she has to move to Baltimore now. More pictures, from the White House, after the jump. MORE »

Here’s tonight’s severe weather alert from Waco’s News Channel 25. Yikes, it’s a big terrible thunderstorm over Crawford. But it should clear up by tomorrow evening. Meanwhile, all the poor people in Crawford have offered their barns and double-wides as vacation rentals for the wedding guests, but the elites aren’t falling for that. MORE »

We are only two days away from The Wedding, and there are simply too many questions remaining! Will Jenna run off at the altar, like Julia Roberts does in all those movies? How hot will Lauren be dressed? Which pizza chains will whore themselves out shamelessly in a losing attempt to cater the reception? Oh look, we already know the answer to that last one! MORE »