Wonkette

Remember Hillary Clinton’s big win in Texas due to her ability to answer the phone at 3 a.m. because her husband’s getting sucked off by a fat gal in the Oval Office again? Well, those ads were actually shown in Ohio, and also Barack Obama is handily beating Hillary Clinton, 99 delegates to 95 delegates. What the hell? MORE »

Your brave Wonkette editor attended a real live Texas primacaucus, and after 1.25 hours of panic, mayhem, and kvetching old people, she emerges victorious to tell you that she almost changed her goddamn voter registration to whichever party it is that supports the dictators. Horrors and elementary school chair-flinging, after the jump!

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After weeks of seeing themselves outspent, outstrategized, and outflanked by the Obama campaign, the Clinton team is finally getting ahead of the curve: they’re already planning a sour, protracted legal battle in Texas that officials warn could ruin the Democratic party there! MORE »