texas

Brian Kilmeade got a GOTCHA on some dumb Texas “sheriff,” when he played 911 tapes of illegal immigrants calling the police for help with stupid things like “not dying.” “So those calls, you have to respond to, even though for the most part, when you get there you realize, they’re not even American citizens?” Kilmeade […]

Ugh, Rick Perry, you really are THE WORST. Texas Gov. Rick Perry plans to announce he will activate the Texas National Guard at a news conference Monday in Austin, said state Sen. Juan “Chuy” Hinojosa, D-McAllen. Hinojosa did not have details of the effort, but an internal memo from another state official’s office said the […]

Well! It seems that after their crappy reporting was debunked, Stupidest Man on the Internet Jim Hoft and Stupidest Guest Blogger on the Internet Kristinn Taylor are demanding an apology from all us mean old lefties for a “vicious smear campaign” against them. In a piece largely aimed at Charles Johnson, who has led the […]

As a person who just got a broken molar fixed (just fine, thanks!), Yr Doktor Zoom is especially alert to the word “dentist” in news stories at the moment. And so our eyes opened up at this story from the Great State of Texas: A Central Texas dentist has been sentenced to 21 days in […]

Jim Hoft’s idiocy is usually merely paranoid and malicious, but mostly the crap he projectile vomits onto the interwebs does little more than whip up the wingnut howler monkey brigade’s lowest passions. They throw poo, and move on. This time, though, he’s really scored a coup: Hoft ran a lie-filled story by Stupidest Guest Blogger […]

Guns Up, Hook ‘Em Horns, Gig ‘Em, Aggies, &c., the proud Americans of Texas now have the GOD-GIVEN RIGHT to put the flag of a racist, treasonous army from Virginia on their license plates! Please tell us about this victory for FREEDOM, Dallas Morning News. A Southern heritage group defeated Texas on Monday, celebrating a […]

Hot on the heels of the big Breitbart scoop about that “Muslim prayer rug” (cleverly disguised as a shirt) found on the Arizona/Mexico border, the good folks at Glenn Beck’s Internet Tendency went looking for some terrorist detritus of their own, and by golly, they sure found some! An Urdu-to-English dictionary was not something Mike […]

Our comments queue has been especially full of pure uncut dumb lately, and so it’s time to share some of the best of the worst with you, O ye Wonkers. First off, our weekend story about the reported failure of the Great Big Protect Our Border Militia Jamboree and Clambake being “organized” in Texas is […]

Here’s one for the “what were they thinking?” files: Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl is returning to active duty while the Army continues its investigation of his disappearance from his base in Afghanistan in 2009. He’ll “probably be assigned a desk job at Fort Sam Houston in Texas” and will be allowed to leave base without an […]

Remember the Great Big Secure Our Border operation that some Texas gun-humper militia guys were putting together to protect America from Guatemalan children? WELL! Turns out that the operation is maybe not going so well, and the group’s leader, “Commander” Chris “Threepercenter” Davis, has sort of disappeared himself from the interwebs. This development will surely […]

Here’s Sean Hannity posing next to a machine gun on a Border Patrol boat on the Big River Rio Grande in Texas, or May-hee-co, or perhaps hundreds of miles up a river that snakes through the immigration war like a main circuit cable. But here he is, on the boat. “Never get out of the […]

Wonkers, someone has a sad, and it is Rick Perry. Why is he sad? Cause HE AIN’T GOT NO ICE CREAM. (We believe the credit for the above should go to @eastsidekate.) Can you help Rick Perry, Wonkers? Hahaha, just kidding, of course you cannot. Rick Perry is beyond help, and also a picture of […]

Looks like our arrogant Marie Antoinette the 14th President has gone and lorded it over We The People again, cutting into line at a famous Austin barbeque joint instead of going to the end like he’s supposed to. At Franklin Barbeque, where lines often run three to five hours long, the Imperial President said to […]

Oh, thank goodness! American Patriarchy Association radio figurehead Bryan Fischer has weighed in on the Send the Children Away Crisis, and just wants everyone to know that Jesus would want those little would-be moochers sent home pronto, and possibly for their houses to burn down, too. You see, what the stupid immigrant-coddlers don’t understand is […]

Rick Perry ain’t gonna meet with no “president” of these here Yoonited States just to have a photo op-pur-tunity on the tarmac, no sir! If’n he meets the “president” it ain’t gonna be for huggin’ an’ smoochin’ like that ol’ pantywaist Chris Christie. No, he is gonna meet with the “president” for REAL only, sittin’ […]