Last night Wonkette harassed Hillary campaign chairman Terry McAuliffe, but the audio went out! Now we can have one of those evil contests that people like so much, hurrah: When we asked Terry McAuliffe about Hillary Clinton, what did he say? Best response wins a pot of golden furs.

Polaroid Liz returns! Here she is with the bull-riding former DNC chairman and current Hillary campaign chairman Terry McAuliffe. He is a monster of energy, and maybe kind of a monster also. But here we are tonight at the Hillary campaign headquarters in Philadelphia, where there is no wireless despite the fact that all the campaign people keep saying “sure, there’s wireless everywhere!” These people lie like demons, everywhere, about everything.

Last night after the Elton John concert, Terry McAuliffe — the former DNC chair and current overlord of the Hillary Clinton for President committee — rode a fucking mechanical bull, according to a Wonkette mechanical bull operative. She says it was approximately 1 a.m. after the show at Johnny Utah’s bar on West 51st St., “a place famous for having the only mechanical bull in Manhattan and for its regular bull riding challenges.” Drunkest man alive? If anyone else was there, please let us know how long he lasted and send photos of him face down on the ground, spitting dirt.

Many Democrats are worried about the party’s doom scenario that might result from big Clinton wins today: Hillary Clinton will do anything to win the nomination, and that may include staying in the race! But the silly Democrats have nothing to worry about, because very soon the various Clinton advisers will have destroyed each other, and Hillary will be a roving cat lady trying to find her way home. First Harold Ickes blamed the campaign’s failures on Mark Penn, then Mark Penn blamed it on Harold Ickes, Patti Solis Doyle and anyone who isn’t himself. Now Team Hillary’s chairman, Terry McAuliffe, is telling Penn to shut his fat Bowser mouth. MORE »

Chris Matthews to Clinton’s campaign manager, Terry McAuliffe: “I wish I had you on my side in life. You’re the best.” Yeah, too bad he has to keep toting that dumb broad Hillary around. Men: BOOO!

Earlier this year, LA scenester, Paris Hilton hanger-on, and occasional lame “fashion designer” Anand Jon was arrested and charged with 32 counts of sexual assault, mostly for raping or trying to rape underaged models. At left, former DNC head and current Clinton campaign head Terry McAuliffe poses with a little boy who supports Mr. Jon, in a photo taken at last month’s Friends of the South Asian American Communities gala in Beverly Hills, a celebration of Indian Independence and giving money to Democrats.

FOSAAC celebrates 60th Independence Day [News Asia]
The Designer Who Liked Models [NYT]

* Heard on the Hill: Nancy Boyda uses vomiting to get closer to hunky firefighters … Chuck Grassley has boring accident. [Roll Call]
* Yeas and Nays: Newt Gingrich shills for shitty Australian beer … Senators enjoy narco-terrorist bananas. [Examiner]
* Shenanigans: Barbara Lee and Raul Grijalva harness the power of hip-hop … Terry McAuliffe has lots of frequent flier miles. [Politico]
* The Sleuth: Planes safe from terrorism, as convicted felon Scooter Libby is sticking to Amtrak. [WP]
* Page Six: Judith Miller spotted dining with the owner of the New York Daily News. [NYP]
* Washington Whispers: Hillary Clinton considers asking daughter Chelsea to serve as First Lady … Secret Service excited about letting losing candidates fend for themselves. [USN&WR] MORE »

* Reliable Source: Another goddamn book party. Terry McAuliffe sez Hillary pases “the beer test.” [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Hillary should get a pearl necklace, sez local jeweler. [Examiner]
* Shenanigans: Would you like to see a video from Terry’s party? Of course you would! [Politico]
* The Sleuth: Barry Hussein Obama studied taekwondo. Terrorist taekwondo. [WP]

* Al Gore is planning a global warming concert/rally that will “dwarf Live Aid.” Hopefully, it won’t feature that dwarf from live aid, Bono. [FT]
* Next time Barry Hussein is dropping a deuce and thinking, “Gee, I wonder how I should run my Presidential campaign,” GQ will have him covered. [GQ]
* Donatella Versace thinks Hillary Clinton should wear more skirts and dresses. Donatella Versace also thinks a half ounce of yay is breakfast. [Suitably Flip]
* Wyoming plays the “I know you are, but what am I?” game with New Hampshire. [Election Central]
* John Edwards’ campaign bloggers were a hard target, new softer enemies include “subversive knitters.” [Michelle Malkin]
* Dennis Hastert ruined the free Air Force plane use for everybody. [Think Progress]
* Tonight’s book party for Terry McAuliffe is totally crashworthy, for the guest list and for the two-grand bottles of cognac. [Washington Whispers]

* Thanks to Terry McAuliffe, Bill Clinton is an inspiration for gays on the whole Korean peninsula. [Hotline on Call]
* Prove you’re biggest Bush hater in your town: buy the “impeachbush.com” domain name today! [Ebay]
* Fired Time staffers: Don’t blame the internet for your kid’s impending malnutrition. [BuzzMachine]
* Sam Brownback will make a big announcement today— that he’s running for President. Get your mind out of the gutter. [CQ Politics]
* Barack the vote! [Café Press]
* We know must-see-TV takes a back seat to must-drink-on-Thursday-nights, so here’s the Colbert/O’Reilly videos you missed. [Alternet]

* Heard on the Hill: John Cornyn, John McCain record promos for weekly televised fascism-porn program 24… First 100 Hours of Democratic Regime started yesterday at 1-ish… Rep. David Wu stopped by security at Longworth. [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: It’s remarkably hard to sue Ana Marie Cox. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Terry McAuliffe, Frank Luntz release books… Stupid congressional college football wacky betting shit… New member pins for 110th Congress are RED. [Examiner]
* Rush & Molloy: Some Repubs doubt Rudy Giuliani will actually run for president, because he might not want to stop making lots of money. [NYDN]