Terry McAuliffe Must Run For Virginia Governor In ‘09, To Save Comedy
Wednesday, August 27th, 2008
Oh huzzah! Even if Comedy-Proof Barry Obama makes it into the White House next year, there will still be plenty of opportunities for humor … because Terry McAuliffe might be running for governor of Virginia. How much does Terry McAuliffe know about (and love!!!) Virginia? So much that Tucker Martin, the campaign spokesperson for likely Republican candidate Attorney General Robert F. McDonnell, said, “Terry McAuliffe doesn’t know Norton from Norfolk. If he runs, remind me to send him a Virginia state map.” Oh har har har you won’t be laughing so much next year when Terry McAuliffe shows up on the cable news doing rum body shots off your savagely pummeled ass, Tucker Martin! Why is every douchebag Republican hack named Tucker? [Washington Post]
Oh huzzah! Even if Comedy-Proof Barry Obama makes it into the White House next year, there will still be plenty of opportunities for humor … because Terry McAuliffe might be running for governor of Virginia. How much does Terry McAuliffe know about (and love!!!) Virginia? So much that Tucker Martin, the campaign spokesperson for likely Republican candidate Attorney General Robert F. McDonnell, said, “Terry McAuliffe doesn’t know Norton from Norfolk. If he runs, remind me to send him a Virginia state map.” Oh har har har you won’t be laughing so much next year when Terry McAuliffe shows up on the cable news doing rum body shots off your savagely pummeled ass, Tucker Martin! Why is every douchebag Republican hack named Tucker? [Washington Post]









Last night Wonkette harassed Hillary campaign chairman Terry McAuliffe, but the audio went out! Now we can have one of those evil contests that people like so much, hurrah: When we asked Terry McAuliffe about Hillary Clinton, what did he say? Best response wins a pot of golden furs.
Polaroid Liz returns! Here she is with the bull-riding former DNC chairman and current Hillary campaign chairman Terry McAuliffe. He is a monster of energy, and maybe kind of a monster also. But here we are tonight at the Hillary campaign headquarters in Philadelphia, where there is no wireless despite the fact that all the campaign people keep saying “sure, there’s wireless everywhere!” These people lie like demons, everywhere, about everything.
Last night after the Elton John concert, Terry McAuliffe — the former DNC chair and current overlord of the Hillary Clinton for President committee — rode a fucking mechanical bull, according to a Wonkette mechanical bull operative. She says it was approximately 1 a.m. after the show at Johnny Utah’s bar on West 51st St., “a place famous for having the only mechanical bull in Manhattan and for its regular bull riding challenges.” Drunkest man alive? If anyone else was there, please let us know how long he lasted and send photos of him face down on the ground, spitting dirt.
Many Democrats are worried about the party’s doom scenario that might result from big Clinton wins today: Hillary Clinton will do anything to win the nomination, and that may include staying in the race! But the silly Democrats have nothing to worry about, because very soon the various Clinton advisers will have destroyed each other, and Hillary will be a roving cat lady trying to find her way home. First Harold Ickes
Chris Matthews to Clinton’s campaign manager, Terry McAuliffe: “I wish I had you on my side in life. You’re the best.” Yeah, too bad he has to keep toting that dumb broad Hillary around. Men: BOOO!
Earlier this year, LA scenester, Paris Hilton hanger-on, and occasional lame “fashion designer” Anand Jon was