December 8, 2013
Florida swamp monster Terry Jones needs money. Or he has run out of sedatives. Or, and we’re going to say this is the most likely one, he is feeling a little hard up these days, because he’s about to get a complimentary body cavity exam from the Secret Service: He put some kind of racist [...]
Even tense fringe hillbillies like Terry Jones have clued into the fact that there’s money to be made off a long-shot Republican presidential run this time around owing to the fact that the weepy, undecided GOP base is full of hungry fear junkies who’ll immediately trade campaign donations in exchange for their frenzy fix faster [...]
Let’s begin with the “funny” news: Transocean awarded its top executives with six figure bonuses, because under their shining leadership the company experienced its “best year in safety performance.” Yes, “safety bonuses” for the executives in charge of the oil rig that exploded and then spilled 200 million gallons of oil into the ocean, killing [...]
We are really tired of Muslim-loving chickenshit Terry Jones, but apparently this Florida swamp creature won a free car for not burning Queerans. (Writing that sentence makes us want to blow our brains out with the shotgun we still need to buy, before Obama’s gay activist judges rule the Second Amendment is illegal.) Let’s just [...]
It’s September 11 Eve, everybody! Have you figured out how you’re going to honor tomorrow yet? Maybe you will listen to Lee Greenwood and meditate on where you were when 9/11 was born, in a manger (your Lauri was in Austin, eating breakfast tacos). Will you burn a votive candle? Just make sure it’s not [...]
Now that Terry Jones is apparently Florida’s #1 Muslin-loving chickenshit, the question still remains: Is there a more respectful way to showcase one’s deep-seated hatred of the Muslim faith, or is burnin’ some Queerans at your trailer park swamp church on 9/11 really the proper way to go, as far as “etiquette” is concerned? Americans [...]
America’s “Burn a Koran Day” celebrity pastor Terry Jones and pill-popping serial groom/hatemonger Rush Limbaugh are not only both graduates of Cape Girardeau Central High School in Cape Girardeau, Missouri — they graduated together, in 1969. Some people are suggesting that this means something!