Tag Archives: terrorists

  gay

Louis Gohmert Travels Alllll Around The World To Hug Muslims, He Does

Now we wouldn’t want to let Michele Bachmann’s various House conspirators get off the hook for this “Muslim terrorists infiltrating the government because they are Muslim” summer-of-a-reelection-year stunt, would we? Here’s the dumbest person in the Western Hemisphere, Rep. Louis Gohmert, berating Jan “BIG SIS” Napolitano today about why she let a Muslim terrorist in her employ download secret terrorism documents from The System and then give them to his terrorist friends. Yes, indeed, why would Secretary Napolitano do that? Gohmert assures her that he’s not just scanning the database of government employees for Arabic names and then accusing each of them of offering material support for terrorists because… you know… look at ’em… No, Louis Gohmert loves Muslims so much that he travels around the world to hug them. Sorry, there’s no way this guy has a passport. Read more on Louis Gohmert Travels Alllll Around The World To Hug Muslims, He Does…
  dumb pictures

Check Out These Lovely New Heartland Institute Murder Billboards

Well look what the end product of tens of millions in donations from rich libertarian energy tycoons and their corporations is at the Heartland Institute: A hilarious series of billboards out on the Interstate saying “Derp derp the Unabomber believed in global warming, derp, splat, are you the Unabomber?” They come in a variety of other mass murderer/dictator flavors, too, because the Heartland Institute is a very serious public policy organization. Read more on Check Out These Lovely New Heartland Institute Murder Billboards…
  grrr exercise

New Dirt Field At Gitmo Is A Lil’ Too Fancy For Fox News’ Taste

Fox News is furious about the conditions at Guantanamo Bay, where hundreds of foreigns are held without charges in an extralegal offshore prison forever. Can you, the taxpayer, even believe how good they have it? It turns out that Uncle Sam is spending your hard-earned Ameros to build a “$750,000 soccer field” for these effete terrorists, right down there in their precious gilded fake Cuban palace-prison complex. Read more on New Dirt Field At Gitmo Is A Lil’ Too Fancy For Fox News’ Taste…
  'what's his beef with the free market?'

What Strange Terrorist Ads Will Air During Tonight’s Debate?

Are you one of those humans who watches the Super Bowl “for the commercials,” which are always uniformly terrible? This is why those of us who live in Washington watch presidential debates! Oh the interest groups, they love buying DC ad time during hilarious presidential debates. There’s usually an Israel Project/AIPAC thing about how scared we’d feel if Maryland or Virginia wanted to nuke its neighbor, an energy trade group’s spiel about how we need to blast water at underground rocks, a Pete Peterson Institute series in which smarmy elementary school children explain why we need to dismantle Social Security, and others. The best, though, is this cheap sketchy one from lobbyists who are trying to get the exiled-Iranian terrorist group MEK taken off the State Department’s official list of terrorist groups, for the sole reason that MEK doesn’t like the current Iranian government either. Why is this always on the TV? Read more on What Strange Terrorist Ads Will Air During Tonight’s Debate?…
  god knows how much this cost

FBI Breaks Up Latest Terrorist Plot That It Created

In a super-neato sting operation today, the FBI totally intercepted a Muslim Terrorist wearing a suicide bomb vest en route to the Capitol, to blow it up. Sucker! Caught you! Go eat an Abortionplex-sized bag of dicks, guy! (But really, thank you for taking all of the pretend bombs our agents gave you and going with them on field trips to test explosives and all the other things we tricked you into doing so we could arrest you.) Read more on FBI Breaks Up Latest Terrorist Plot That It Created…
  a children's history of catholic terrorism

America Stuck With All These Guy Fawkes Masks, We Guess

As this photo from our #OWS correspondent KenLayIsAlive makes clear, the guys with the Guy Fawkes masks are well represented at Occupy Wall Street and many other Protest Occupations around the country. The cultural trajectory of this mask is sometimes hard to follow, but here’s our attempt to explain it, and also explain why it creeps us out. Read more on America Stuck With All These Guy Fawkes Masks, We Guess…
  duh

A New Poll About Americans’ Hatred Of Muslims, Just In Time For 9/11

Get out your miniature American flags and get ready for all those chain e-mails from Grandma because it’s almost that time of year again! It has now been ten years since 9/11, which means America has had ten years to grieve, reflect, and cultivate limitless hatred for a religion we can’t even begin to understand. This is the general conclusion of a survey conducted by the Brookings Institutionthe Public Religion Research Institute that dared to ask, “Just how ignorant are we?” And because we are the BEST COUNTRY EVER CREATED BY GOD we have of course won the championship Gold Medal of Ignorance. Patriot victory laps around the neighborhood mosque! Read more on A New Poll About Americans’ Hatred Of Muslims, Just In Time For 9/11…
  snowbilly greatest hits collection

Sarah Palin Proves Tea Party Not Terrorists, ‘Or Obama Would Pal Around With Us’

Oh look, it is the helmeted space turd Sarah Palin doing a greatest hits tour on Fox News. Is this a replay clip from 2008 talking to Sean Hannity? No, it is Sarah Palin reenacting one of her more popular Dances of Stupid in exchange for her Fox News gold coins. “The teabaggers can’t be terrorists, or Obama would be palling around with us, just like he used to pal around with domestic terrorists like Ayers and also Sha-vez and ol’ No Preconditions Ackmahdinnerjad and the rest of the world’s terrorists.” Does Sarah Palin even know what a terrorist or a domestic is? Yes, Katie, she reads all of them. What is she even talking about? Read more on Sarah Palin Proves Tea Party Not Terrorists, ‘Or Obama Would Pal Around With Us’…
  and if obama signs it he's one too

Republicans To Screen 9/11 First Responders To See If They’re Terrorists

The tens of thousands of cops, firefighters, construction workers and others who survived the worst terrorist assault in U.S. history and risked their lives in its wake will soon be informed that their names must be run through the FBI’s terrorism watch list, according to a letter obtained by HuffPost. […] Read more on Republicans To Screen 9/11 First Responders To See If They’re Terrorists…
  but muslims hate ham radio

IRA Terrorist Peter King Now Wants To Take America’s Amateur Radio Band

We thought he was plenty busy hating on Muslims — and why can’t the Muslims just shut their halal-holes and enjoy America’s endless bloody pointless murderous wars against Muslim countries, anyway? — but Rep. Peter King is also trying to shut down America’s ham radio frequencies. Read more on IRA Terrorist Peter King Now Wants To Take America’s Amateur Radio Band…
  worse containers than fetus jars

Student Charged With Trying To Blow Up George W. Bush

A young college student from Saudi Arabia who studied chemical engineering in Texas purchased explosive chemicals over the Internet as part of a plan to hide bomb materials inside dolls and baby carriages to blow up dams, nuclear plants or the Dallas home of former President George W. Bush, the Justice Department said Thursday. Read more on Student Charged With Trying To Blow Up George W. Bush…
  it's morning in america

Wrestling Lady & Fake Vietnam Veteran Do Fake Wrestling For CT

A couple of sketchy Connecticut politicians battled by cue cards last night, in hopes of winning an all-expenses-paid six-year vacation with Joe Lieberman. Who were our lucky contestants? There’s Attorney “Four Star” General Richard Blumenthal, who previously got in a bit of trouble for claiming to be Vietnam, which is a blatant exaggeration. And then there’s Republican Linda McMahon, who in her former CEO life peddled “men in spandex, pretending to kill each other on teevee” to your impressionable, now brain-dead children. They mostly argued about our terrible economy, and Blumenthal even asked McMahon why Stone Cold Steve Austin action figurines are not manufactured in the good ol’ USA, to which McMahon obviously replied “because you commie liberals won’t let businesses use child slave labor.” Read more on Wrestling Lady & Fake Vietnam Veteran Do Fake Wrestling For CT… Read more on Wrestling Lady & Fake Vietnam Veteran Do Fake Wrestling For CT…
  supermax cannot hold probably harmless afghan civilians

Obama: Close Gitmo. That Place Is Pricey.

Barack Obama wants to feed and clothe all the terrorists and let them live in the United States for as long as they want. Had enough Hope and Change, yet? “The costs of holding folks in Guantanamo is massively higher than it is in holding them in a Supermax, maximum security prison here in the United States,” Obama said at a White House news conference on Friday, one day before the Sept. 11 anniversary. Read more on Obama: Close Gitmo. That Place Is Pricey….
  modern major generals

American Army Hero Tired Of Obama’s 24/7 Racism and Flag Burning

There are so few heroes for the young people to look up to these days, what with Lindsay Lohan serving time and more and more Republicans opting for sex scandals involving consensual, heterosexual intercourse and so forth. So who should your children admire? They should admire Major General Jerry R. Curry, the army-man who knows that Barack Obama is black, but note quite black enough. The army-man who is fed up with Barack Obama’s race-baiting, his muslim faith and his non-existent support for the troops. The army-man whose name was selected from a hat to pen this week’s “Real America Will Never Ever Trust Barry Hussein” column for Human Events. Read more on American Army Hero Tired Of Obama’s 24/7 Racism and Flag Burning…
  warblogging in our time

Wikileaks Shows Afghanistan War Even Worse Than You Thought

Heroic invisible Internet website Wikileaks.org just released piles of secret U.S. and NATO documents about the decade-long War in Afghanistan, and it’s not a pretty picture. Every grim assumption is confirmed: Our “ally” Pakistan and our “enemy” the Taliban are one and the same, civilians are being massacred by our robot death planes at an appalling rate, and the inept Afghan Army seems to serve little use beyond providing disguises and equipment to be used by rebels attacking U.S. troops and bases. But at least the Obama Administration has responded to the leaked documents in an honest, forthright manner … haha, just kidding. Obama’s national security adviser put out a statement attacking Wikileaks and the newspapers for releasing the damning documents. Read more on Wikileaks Shows Afghanistan War Even Worse Than You Thought…
  piratofascism

Terrorist Ship That Was Rammed Into Ye Olde Worlde Trade Centre Discovered

Workers are excavating the World Trade Center site (Not done yet? What is this, union labor?), and on Tuesday, they found a giant 18th-century ship stuck in there. How? Well, back then terrorists were called “pirates.” (Evil liberal Hollywood has made empathize with pirates, but they were TERRORISTS OF THE SEAS.) And these pirates hated nothing more than our freedom (for white English male property owners)! So they drove their ship up Manhattan and right into the side of the Dutch East Indian Company Worlde Trade Centre. Read more on Terrorist Ship That Was Rammed Into Ye Olde Worlde Trade Centre Discovered…