Tag Archives: terrorists

  and if obama signs it he's one too

Republicans To Screen 9/11 First Responders To See If They’re Terrorists

The tens of thousands of cops, firefighters, construction workers and others who survived the worst terrorist assault in U.S. history and risked their lives in its wake will soon be informed that their names must be run through the FBI’s terrorism watch list, according to a letter obtained by HuffPost. […] Read more on Republicans To Screen 9/11 First Responders To See If They’re Terrorists…
  but muslims hate ham radio

IRA Terrorist Peter King Now Wants To Take America’s Amateur Radio Band

We thought he was plenty busy hating on Muslims — and why can’t the Muslims just shut their halal-holes and enjoy America’s endless bloody pointless murderous wars against Muslim countries, anyway? — but Rep. Peter King is also trying to shut down America’s ham radio frequencies. Read more on IRA Terrorist Peter King Now Wants To Take America’s Amateur Radio Band…
  worse containers than fetus jars

Student Charged With Trying To Blow Up George W. Bush

A young college student from Saudi Arabia who studied chemical engineering in Texas purchased explosive chemicals over the Internet as part of a plan to hide bomb materials inside dolls and baby carriages to blow up dams, nuclear plants or the Dallas home of former President George W. Bush, the Justice Department said Thursday. Read more on Student Charged With Trying To Blow Up George W. Bush…
  it's morning in america

Wrestling Lady & Fake Vietnam Veteran Do Fake Wrestling For CT

A couple of sketchy Connecticut politicians battled by cue cards last night, in hopes of winning an all-expenses-paid six-year vacation with Joe Lieberman. Who were our lucky contestants? There’s Attorney “Four Star” General Richard Blumenthal, who previously got in a bit of trouble for claiming to be Vietnam, which is a blatant exaggeration. And then there’s Republican Linda McMahon, who in her former CEO life peddled “men in spandex, pretending to kill each other on teevee” to your impressionable, now brain-dead children. They mostly argued about our terrible economy, and Blumenthal even asked McMahon why Stone Cold Steve Austin action figurines are not manufactured in the good ol’ USA, to which McMahon obviously replied “because you commie liberals won’t let businesses use child slave labor.” Read more on Wrestling Lady & Fake Vietnam Veteran Do Fake Wrestling For CT… Read more on Wrestling Lady & Fake Vietnam Veteran Do Fake Wrestling For CT…
  supermax cannot hold probably harmless afghan civilians

Obama: Close Gitmo. That Place Is Pricey.

Barack Obama wants to feed and clothe all the terrorists and let them live in the United States for as long as they want. Had enough Hope and Change, yet? “The costs of holding folks in Guantanamo is massively higher than it is in holding them in a Supermax, maximum security prison here in the United States,” Obama said at a White House news conference on Friday, one day before the Sept. 11 anniversary. Read more on Obama: Close Gitmo. That Place Is Pricey….
  modern major generals

American Army Hero Tired Of Obama’s 24/7 Racism and Flag Burning

There are so few heroes for the young people to look up to these days, what with Lindsay Lohan serving time and more and more Republicans opting for sex scandals involving consensual, heterosexual intercourse and so forth. So who should your children admire? They should admire Major General Jerry R. Curry, the army-man who knows that Barack Obama is black, but note quite black enough. The army-man who is fed up with Barack Obama’s race-baiting, his muslim faith and his non-existent support for the troops. The army-man whose name was selected from a hat to pen this week’s “Real America Will Never Ever Trust Barry Hussein” column for Human Events. Read more on American Army Hero Tired Of Obama’s 24/7 Racism and Flag Burning…
  warblogging in our time

Wikileaks Shows Afghanistan War Even Worse Than You Thought

Heroic invisible Internet website Wikileaks.org just released piles of secret U.S. and NATO documents about the decade-long War in Afghanistan, and it’s not a pretty picture. Every grim assumption is confirmed: Our “ally” Pakistan and our “enemy” the Taliban are one and the same, civilians are being massacred by our robot death planes at an appalling rate, and the inept Afghan Army seems to serve little use beyond providing disguises and equipment to be used by rebels attacking U.S. troops and bases. But at least the Obama Administration has responded to the leaked documents in an honest, forthright manner … haha, just kidding. Obama’s national security adviser put out a statement attacking Wikileaks and the newspapers for releasing the damning documents. Read more on Wikileaks Shows Afghanistan War Even Worse Than You Thought…
  piratofascism

Terrorist Ship That Was Rammed Into Ye Olde Worlde Trade Centre Discovered

Workers are excavating the World Trade Center site (Not done yet? What is this, union labor?), and on Tuesday, they found a giant 18th-century ship stuck in there. How? Well, back then terrorists were called “pirates.” (Evil liberal Hollywood has made empathize with pirates, but they were TERRORISTS OF THE SEAS.) And these pirates hated nothing more than our freedom (for white English male property owners)! So they drove their ship up Manhattan and right into the side of the Dutch East Indian Company Worlde Trade Centre. Read more on Terrorist Ship That Was Rammed Into Ye Olde Worlde Trade Centre Discovered…
  foreigners are dangerous

E-Passport Parts Come from a Terrorist Town (Not Prescott, Arizona)

The muckrakers at the Center for Public Integrity teamed up with Disney News to uncover a TERRIBLE, FRIGHTENING THING: electronic parts for our fancy new e-passports are being assembled in Thailand, a nation of “killer” pad thai and also TERRORISM. Why aren’t our e-passports made right here in the safe and secure, chillin’ and grillin’, paintball-playin’ US? Read more on E-Passport Parts Come from a Terrorist Town (Not Prescott, Arizona)…
  suck it newsweek

‘Big Government’ Novelist-Contributor Has Biggest ‘War on Terror’ Scoop Of Decade, Until His Next One!

Ha ha ha, don’t know how we missed this earlier in the week, but a thriller novelist named Brad Thor has been publishing major major national security Scoops at Andrew Breitbart’s Big Government joke blog: “Late this afternoon Lt. Colonel Oliver North confirmed that Taliban leader and Osama bin Laden ally, Mullah Mohammed Omar has been captured. The exclusive news of Omar’s capture was broken by Big Government Monday evening.” Oh my god. “According to Colonel North, Omar was picked up in Karachi on March 27th by the Pakistani Inter-Services Intelligence Directorate (ISI) who placed him under house arrest in what they call ‘community care.'” Sure, why not. Oliver North confirms to the trade paperback novelist at Andrew Breitbart’s joke blog that Mullah Omar was captured a month and a half ago. Hmm… looking for possible holes here… eh, we give up. Fucking most valid scoop in history. Read more on ‘Big Government’ Novelist-Contributor Has Biggest ‘War on Terror’ Scoop Of Decade, Until His Next One!…
  today in newsmax emails

Hurry Up And Buy This Fancy Crank-Gear Radio From Newsmax, Before The Terrorists Kill You

Conservative granny-porn outlet Newsmax has discovered the greatest technological device ever conceived and would like to give it to you for free, because the terrorists are coming, and how else are you going to listen to Rush Limbaugh for crucial security updates from your family’s burrowed hole in the backyard? Just crank this gizmo a few times, one two three, just like that. You’re welcome. Newsmax will return in the near future with even more products from its Comically Indiscreet Attempts To Exploit Stupid Peoples’ Fears line of broken children’s toys. Read more on Hurry Up And Buy This Fancy Crank-Gear Radio From Newsmax, Before The Terrorists Kill You…
  rumors on the internets

Brown People Flee Arizona, RedState Declares ‘Mission Accomplished’

Hooray! Most of the Arizona Mexicans ran back to Mexico to harvest their taco farms, and the rest of them fled to Utah and joined the Mormon Church. [RedState] From this moment on, the default setting for every new New York driver’s license is DONATE ALL MY ORGANS TO ACORN. [Hit & Run] Read more on Brown People Flee Arizona, RedState Declares ‘Mission Accomplished’…
  everybody's on youtube

Militia Nut Made Sexy Duck-Porn-Murder Video

Okay, fine. That Jabba the Hutaree militia guy made some weird home movie and it was on YouTube and now it’s not but TPM has some video excerpts so go look at it and be titillated if that’s your thing: “Kris Sickles appears entirely naked but for a mask of President George W. Bush that obscures some, but not all, of his genitalia. In the film, Sickles’s chubby, tattooed character finds himself attacked by an enormous creature which appears to be half man, half duck.” Read more on Militia Nut Made Sexy Duck-Porn-Murder Video…
  nation of bored idiots

America’s Only Thriving Industry: Internet Terrorism

Have you heard about this nut lady? She’s not even religious, or Muslim, or whatever. She is just a nut who finally found a purpose/job, on the Internet. Well everybody needs a Mission, right? Read more on America’s Only Thriving Industry: Internet Terrorism…
  rumors on the internets

Science: ‘Massaging Your Scalp With Cigarette Ash’ Might Be Ill-Advised

Aww, Jim Inhofe’s grandchildren built Al Gore a spacious snow cavern to live in! How did they know Al’s fursona was a “homeless but sensitive polar bear?” [Think Progress] Looks like it’s going to be another lonely, miserable Valentine’s Day, huh? Hey, why not fingerbang a heavily-discounted Newt Gingrich paperback from the NRO bookstore instead? Ships with a bottle of Newt’s famous pheromone cologne so you can set the mood! [The Corner] Read more on Science: ‘Massaging Your Scalp With Cigarette Ash’ Might Be Ill-Advised…
  the homefront

Newt Gingrich Knows *Exactly* Why Barack Obama Thinks Terrorists Are Human Beings

Rejected minor Sorkin character Newt Gingrich went to speak with Bill O’Reilly somewhere inside the tevee yesterday to talk about terrorists and their known proclivity, terrorism. Gingrich, if he is going to be the Republican’s perennial safety nominee, must crack down on terrorism by saying how much Barack Obama loves it, starting now. This is called “appealing to the base,” and it goes a little something like this: “I believe what you have is a group of people centered in the Justice Department and the Attorney General, whose law firms all gave pro bono support to terrorism. They start every day with a presumption that the rights of terrorists are more important than the lives of Americans.” This guy! Read more on Newt Gingrich Knows *Exactly* Why Barack Obama Thinks Terrorists Are Human Beings…
  too soon?

Suspicious Low-Flying Aircraft Noted On U.S. Radar But Otherwise Ignored

Don’t mind that bearded fanatic in his low-altitude primitive aircraft flying around the skyscrapers tonight! The government is totally aware of this problem, and has chosen to just sort of “let it play out.” Happy Christmas, everybody! [NORAD Santa Tracker] Read more on Suspicious Low-Flying Aircraft Noted On U.S. Radar But Otherwise Ignored…
  alcatraz on the mississippi

Protesters Fear Thomson Prison Will Turn Into ‘The Rock,’ Minus Nic Cage, Plus Terrorists

Libtards across America think it would be just fine to put Guantanamo detainees in a maximum-security prison in northern Illinois, where they could paint each other’s fingernails while threatening to unleash a biological attack on “the mainland” (Iowa). But some people find this objectionable, and so they went to a public hearing on the proposed sale of the Thomson Correctional Facility to the US government armed with two things: flawless logic, and wonderful signs. Read more on Protesters Fear Thomson Prison Will Turn Into ‘The Rock,’ Minus Nic Cage, Plus Terrorists…
  notable apologies

Why Is John Shadegg Walking Back His Objectively True Statement About Terrorist Kidnappers?

Retarded pussy John Shadegg has apologized to Michael Bloomberg for saying, on the House floor, that Bloomberg’s daughter would be kidnapped by Muslim terrorists if another terrorist is given a criminal trial in a New York City court of law: “I apologize for the insensitivity of my remarks with respect to the Mayor or his family, however…” — here we go, the ominous “however” — “…I think it is important to note that this decision involves potential risk to innocent people.” From what we hear, Michael Bloomberg’s daugher ain’t so innocent, oh ho ho… ho ho… we’ll shutup now. [NYDN] Read more on Why Is John Shadegg Walking Back His Objectively True Statement About Terrorist Kidnappers?…
  nation of pussies

John Shadegg Has Watched All ’24’ Seasons 24 Times, So He Knows What’s Up

Insane Arizona Rep. John Shadegg has some experience with kidnapping children, so he knows what these Muzzies are thinking: “I saw the mayor of New York said today, ‘We’re tough. We can do it.’ Well, Mayor, how are you going to feel when it’s your daughter that’s kidnapped at school by a terrorist?” Read more on John Shadegg Has Watched All ’24’ Seasons 24 Times, So He Knows What’s Up…
  glenn beck

ALL OF THIS IS FACTUAL TRUTH: “So thank fucking christ that the Commander in Chief is no longer subjecting the nation to death porn. No, this year it’s limited to a nutty little cult leader on basic cable who is encouraging his radicalized band of fanatical followers to invade the cities where the tragedy actually happened in order to shock the populace back into fear. Glenn Beck is an actual terrorist, and the people attending his rally in DC tomorrow are al-Qaeda in America.” [Alex Pareene] Read more on …